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Thread: Memory quilt - freaking out

  1. #1
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    Okay, well, freaking out might be an exaggeration, but not by much. I am making a memory quilt for the son of a friend. His dad was killed in an accident in July. I'm making the quilt out of his dad's shirts. I have the shirts. I have the pattern. I've tested the blocks. I bought backing fabric.

    Now I need to get going if I want to have the quilt done in time for his birthday in March, but the box of fabrics, templates, pattern, etc is sitting there and I am procrastinating. I've cut into a few of the shirts, and made a grand total of three blocks - two pieced, one plain, of the 108 blocks that I'll need. I get very anxious because I'm afraid I'm going to mess it up and make something that will be painful to the kid and his mom instead of comforting.

    I want to do this quilt. I volunteered to do this quilt. I love the idea of this quilt, but I am having a hard time just doing the cutting.

    I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. I just really need to get it out, I guess.

  2. #2
    Super Member Vicki W's Avatar
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    Calm down, the purpose of the quilt is to provide memories, not showcase your skills. It is going to be loved for what it is, a physical reminder of him. Keep it simple and get going, you can do this and you want to do this.

    (hugs...you are doing a wonderful thing).

  3. #3
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    Go ahead and make the quilt. By the time it's finished, the shock of his sudden death will probably have eased somewhat. Be sure to tell them that it's a memory quilt when you give it to them, if it's still too soon to look at it they can wait until the time is right. This is a wonderful thing you're doing.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Lizzytish's Avatar
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    I think this is a wonderful idea. Just go with it and I'm sure there will be tears but in the long run it will be appreciated and what great memories of his dad he will have.

    Sometimes it is not good to think to much.

    Good luck would love to pics when it is done.

  5. #5
    Senior Member katiescraftshop's Avatar
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    Take a deep breath. I make memory quilts all the time, for good and bad reasons and the 1st few blocks are the toughest. Look at it this way, the way they will "remember when dad wore that shirt to the baseball game, or remember he wore that in that photo we have with the goofy face he made....etc... Your doing a wonderful thing for them and everytime they curl up with that quilt the will have a hug from dad.

  6. #6
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PMY in QCA-IL
    Go ahead and make the quilt. By the time it's finished, the shock of his sudden death will probably have eased somewhat. Be sure to tell them that it's a memory quilt when you give it to them, if it's still too soon to look at it they can wait until the time is right. This is a wonderful thing you're doing.
    Well, his wife did give me the shirts, so she knows about it and she is at the point where she feels comfortable with me cutting them up, so at least I feel comfortable on that score.

  7. #7
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katiescraftshop
    ...everytime they curl up with that quilt the will have a hug from dad.
    That is exactly what I want this quilt to accomplish. Jesse is only ten, still at an age where he needs his dad so much.

  8. #8

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    Good music, chocolate, and a prayer. You will truly get a blessing from doing this. My heart iw with you. Post a pics as you go. Looking forward to seeing them.

  9. #9
    Super Member SandyinZ4's Avatar
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    I agree with others. You have the skills and material. Just wrap your mind around good thoughts and start sewing. If you have the time, we would love to see pics of your progress. Then we can give you more encouragement. I am sure they will love it. What a caring thing for you to do.

  10. #10
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    Okay, I went away, I cried a little bit, made a nice cup of tea, and said some prayers. I'm going to go in and start cutting now. I'll post some pics later to the picture section.

  11. #11
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    please don't think upsetting is always bad. Yes, they will cry. first, because they miss husband/dad. second because of the love you put into every stitch of that quilt using dad's clothing. third because. just because. But they will have the quilt to wrap up in as they cry and that will be the most comfort anyone can give.

    Laurie

  12. #12
    Super Member Country1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterflyblue
    Okay, well, freaking out might be an exaggeration, but not by much. I am making a memory quilt for the son of a friend. His dad was killed in an accident in July. I'm making the quilt out of his dad's shirts. I have the shirts. I have the pattern. I've tested the blocks. I bought backing fabric.

    Now I need to get going if I want to have the quilt done in time for his birthday in March, but the box of fabrics, templates, pattern, etc is sitting there and I am procrastinating. I've cut into a few of the shirts, and made a grand total of three blocks - two pieced, one plain, of the 108 blocks that I'll need. I get very anxious because I'm afraid I'm going to mess it up and make something that will be painful to the kid and his mom instead of comforting.

    I want to do this quilt. I volunteered to do this quilt. I love the idea of this quilt, but I am having a hard time just doing the cutting.

    I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. I just really need to get it out, I guess.


    God bless you for this wonderful gift you are going to make. Calm down and realize, yes this is very important, but it's the love that goes into it that helps makes it even precious. It will be beautiful when you do it, just calm down and it will all come together beautifully.

  13. #13
    Super Member clem55's Avatar
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    Right now it is probably harder for you to cut the shirts, afraid of mesdsing up, than it will be for them to receive it. Blessings to you and them.

  14. #14
    Super Member sewwhat85's Avatar
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    i think what you are doing is great

  15. #15
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    also, maybe you're just feeling so sad while you work on it? you were a friend, so do not discount you and what your feelings are.

    Laurie

  16. #16
    Super Member Maride's Avatar
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    Due to the circumstances around the death is most likely that the first sight of the quilt may make them cry. It will have nothing to do with the quilt, but with the fact that they are still mourning and will be for a long time. Eventually the quilt will be comforting. What you are doing is wonderful. It will be difficult at first, but will easier. They are lucky to have a friend that understand how they feel.

  17. #17
    Super Member SuziC's Avatar
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    You are doing a wonderful thing! Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. However it turns out just remember you are doing it out of love so it will be "JUST RIGHT" Take a deep breath and do one block at a time....it will be Great!!!

  18. #18
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    My friend made a memory quilt for my husband using t-shirts/sweatshirts from things our husbands had done together. Her husband died three years ago, and we were all moved to tears by the quilt. They were good tears, though.

  19. #19
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    It is a wonderful thing you are doing. Just take a deep breath and sew. You may cry and they will cry, but it is healing. There are stages you need to go through in grief, and the feelings are there no matter what anyone says or doesn't say, the memories are still there. The wife/mother gave you the shirts, so she is probably looking forward to seeing the quilt. Good luck and post pictures when you are done. Looking forward to seeing it.
    Sue

  20. #20
    Super Member jojosnana's Avatar
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    I think there is a lot of memories for you too. Perhaps just doing a bit each day and adding a bit more each week so you can finish. If you don't finish it by the birthday, perhaps it will be loved just as much a few weeks later......

  21. #21
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    I cry as I type this. My brother-in-law passed away about 12 yrs ago now, I would give almost anything to have a memory quilt for my Hubby and 3 children. They loved him sooo much and have missed him greatly. How wonderful it would have been to give them a memory quilt. All those goofy bright western shirts he wore, and the kids teased him about. Every get together he had a new one. How great would that have been to still have those shirts in a quilt to remember every day the great time they had with him. This will be the most important quilt ever. Do it for them, they will need it. Good luck and post pics when done.

  22. #22
    Super Member Scrap Happy's Avatar
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    You are doing something so special and this is truly a labor of love! I just saw your other post with pics of what you have done so far and it is wonderful!! :thumbup:

    I made a memory quilt for a friends' Mom and gave it to her at a family gathering at my friends request. Her Mom, my friend, her bros. & sis's, and the grandchildren were all laughing, crying, pointing to the different fabrics and telling stories attached to the shirts (vacation stories, who gave him the shirt(s), etc.)

    This quilt you are making is going to be beautiful and it will be cherished. You are putting your heart and soul into it.

  23. #23
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    I'm making my 11 yr. old grandaughter a 9patch on point from her beloved Uncle Bill's shirts and I think it will give her comfort to be able to snuggle in her "Uncle Bill's" quilt . it will be sort of like being in his arms again maybe.
    Annette

  24. #24
    Junior Member sew_sew's Avatar
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    When my husband died at age 41, 27 years ago, I didn't quilt and had never heard of a memory quilt. I sure would have loved to have had one made of all his shirts. As it is I have one favorite one tucked away and sometimes pull it out to hug it. What a lovely thing that quilt will be for his family. I imagine the son snuggling under it.

  25. #25
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    You know what?? People that don't quilt don't notice that you've made mistakes, they just look at what it is and what it represents, they don't critique the quilter because they don't know how. Don't worry about not being good enough, it will be the most beautiful thing in their eyes. They will appreciate all your effort. They will feel the love.

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