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-   -   The "worthy," why are we so hard on them? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/%22worthy-%22-why-we-so-hard-them-t85641.html)

mamasuze 12-28-2010 02:13 PM


Originally Posted by lisalovesquilting

Originally Posted by ckcowl
boy, i TOTALLY AGREE! and to add just a little more...
when i give a loved one a quilt and visit...if i see the kids used their quilts to make a fort (they love making forts...and what ever blanket they can get their hands on works) i was not upset...i helped. sometimes reading peoples posts here really makes me wonder...
what did you make the quilt for? you give it to someone and if they use it...you are mad...it will show signs of being used...heaven forbid...
if they do not use it, but pack it away in a box or chest never (well maybe once in awhile) to be seen again...you are mad...geeze....
if anyone in my family was regularly reading on here they would be so .... confused.... what are we to do with the quilts you give us?
I SAY USE THEM...HOW EVER YOU WANT...IT IS YOURS NOW...
and, if it wears out...YEA! NOW I HAVE REASON TO MAKE YOU ANOTHER ONE! and i've made lots of purses...i make them, i show them to people i (thought) i would give them too.... if i show one and hear...WOW, HOW COOL IS THAT...I LOVE IT...well, that person gets the purse...if the response is more along the line of...OK...nice i guess...do you carry that? well, i know she wasn't as (taken) with it as i am...i don't waste her time with it.
people sometimes seem to put a little too much expectation on others...
if you make quilts you want to give away, but do not want used...tell the person you are giving it to...put it away, and 'show it' once in awhile...if you make a quilt you do want used...tell them when it is worn out you will make another one...then don't get all....indignant when you visit and it is being used...it's not yours any more...your part is over MOVE ON

Well said!

Boy, I wish YOU were my mom! My mom made quilts for my daughters and then was mad because they used them. She thought they should be put up in the closet and kept. I told her she might as well take them back because they weren't doing anyone any good. Luckily she realized what she was doing and let my girls keep them. Now that she's gone, they have a useful quilt to remember her by.

cathyvv 12-28-2010 06:36 PM


Originally Posted by patdesign
Sorry, there are volumes to be said for being grateful (that some one cared enough) and graceful (if it just isn't your bag.-no pun intended). At almost 72 I realize not many people hit the mark about what I like, however that does not in any way lessen the fact that I love them for the thought. My mamma raised a southeren gal with manners.:)

I was raised in the north, and my mamma taught me the same manners. I'd say we were both very lucky!

LivelyLady 12-28-2010 06:58 PM


Originally Posted by jemma
recieving is more of a challange to character than giving ---when someone reaches out to you with a gift accept the love first then the gift should realy not matter---thank you is very easy to say-- i got a pet rock for xmas the love + the pride shining from my gransons eyes is making me tear up as i write this --what a special gift i got

Amen! Any gift made/given with love is definitely a "keeper" for all time :)

cathyvv 12-28-2010 07:05 PM


Originally Posted by peaceandjoy
What I try to remember is that, if I give a gift, I've GIVEN it away. It is now that person's to do with as they wish. If they don't like/want it, they can regift it, sell it, put it in the cupboard (worst choice, for me).

My 6 year old great nephew "designed" his first quilt last week. It's a single block, 16 patch, or 4 4 patches. He and I sewed it together. After we were done, he told me it was for his bird, Sparky, because "Sparky needs a butt warmer."

A couple of days later he asked me if I minded if Sparky pooped on it. I said, "No. You made it for Sparky. It's his. He can do whatever he wants to do with it."

He makes me laugh...

Mattee 12-28-2010 08:11 PM

Thanks for that! That's a wonderful story.


Originally Posted by cathyvv

Originally Posted by peaceandjoy
What I try to remember is that, if I give a gift, I've GIVEN it away. It is now that person's to do with as they wish. If they don't like/want it, they can regift it, sell it, put it in the cupboard (worst choice, for me).

My 6 year old great nephew "designed" his first quilt last week. It's a single block, 16 patch, or 4 4 patches. He and I sewed it together. After we were done, he told me it was for his bird, Sparky, because "Sparky needs a butt warmer."

A couple of days later he asked me if I minded if Sparky pooped on it. I said, "No. You made it for Sparky. It's his. He can do whatever he wants to do with it."

He makes me laugh...


JulieR 12-28-2010 08:21 PM


Originally Posted by cathyvv

Originally Posted by peaceandjoy
What I try to remember is that, if I give a gift, I've GIVEN it away. It is now that person's to do with as they wish. If they don't like/want it, they can regift it, sell it, put it in the cupboard (worst choice, for me).

My 6 year old great nephew "designed" his first quilt last week. It's a single block, 16 patch, or 4 4 patches. He and I sewed it together. After we were done, he told me it was for his bird, Sparky, because "Sparky needs a butt warmer."

A couple of days later he asked me if I minded if Sparky pooped on it. I said, "No. You made it for Sparky. It's his. He can do whatever he wants to do with it."

He makes me laugh...

I love this!

aliaslaceygreen 12-29-2010 05:44 AM


Originally Posted by JulieR

Originally Posted by cathyvv

Originally Posted by peaceandjoy
What I try to remember is that, if I give a gift, I've GIVEN it away. It is now that person's to do with as they wish. If they don't like/want it, they can regift it, sell it, put it in the cupboard (worst choice, for me).

My 6 year old great nephew "designed" his first quilt last week. It's a single block, 16 patch, or 4 4 patches. He and I sewed it together. After we were done, he told me it was for his bird, Sparky, because "Sparky needs a butt warmer."

A couple of days later he asked me if I minded if Sparky pooped on it. I said, "No. You made it for Sparky. It's his. He can do whatever he wants to do with it."

He makes me laugh...

I love this!

Kids. They cut to the heart of things!

JAGSD 12-29-2010 06:01 AM


Originally Posted by cathyvv

Originally Posted by peaceandjoy
What I try to remember is that, if I give a gift, I've GIVEN it away. It is now that person's to do with as they wish. If they don't like/want it, they can regift it, sell it, put it in the cupboard (worst choice, for me).

My 6 year old great nephew "designed" his first quilt last week. It's a single block, 16 patch, or 4 4 patches. He and I sewed it together. After we were done, he told me it was for his bird, Sparky, because "Sparky needs a butt warmer."

A couple of days later he asked me if I minded if Sparky pooped on it. I said, "No. You made it for Sparky. It's his. He can do whatever he wants to do with it."

He makes me laugh...

AMEN...

lots2do 12-29-2010 06:26 AM

Manners are manners, sure. Some young people are going through a spell where they are so focused on themselves, they forget to be gracious. Some people never seem to cultivate them, unfortunately.
I think there are many wise thoughts posted here about gifting and receiving. Gift carefully and don't read too much into the reactions you may or may not see.
Thanks for starting this thread,
lots2do

DJ 12-29-2010 06:33 AM


Originally Posted by JulieR
...I'm a "give and let live" kind of girl.

That's me, too!


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