I totally understand being disappointed when someone doesn't appreciate the effort made for them.

But honestly, how is someone supposed to feel when they are given a gift that they don't appreciate the colors, don't know what they are going to do with it, and/or have absolutely no idea why someone would make them a handmade gift?

I know what I like. There are some fabrics that I plain just don't like. I personally don't think the BT bag is the second coming. Its my opinion, but I think its kind of goofy to make a cowboy purse to match a cowboy outfit. It is perfectly fine if you do, but if someone gave me a cowboy bow tucks bag. I would be dumbfounded as to what to do with it. I know that the creator put much effort into that bag, but if the creator really knew me, and thought I was "worth" it, why don't they know me well enough to know that I have no USE for the cowboy purse?

I read the post of the person who made purses, and the recipients were less than squealing, but I personally wouldn't want someone making me a purse, AND I SEW. I like to pick out my own. And honestly with all the people on here who nitpick that people don't treat their goods properly, I would be afraid to use aforementioned gift in front of the creator, lest they should think I wasn't using it properly.

I read a post earlier from someone who said that a grandson had told her he didn't want a quilt. So....guess what....she didn't make him one. She is a genius. (I did like the idea, to make one and put it away, should he ever change his mind). But honestly if you are going to pour hours of your life into something, wouldn't you like to KNOW that the recipient is going to appreciate your work?

Last year, I agonized over giving a quilt to the M-I-L. I was worried because we were buying the SF-I-L a gift and the MIL was getting the quilt, and I didn't want HER to feel slighted. The husband reassured me that MIL would probably cry if I gave it to her, so I stitched along. Sure enough, she loves its, and the quilt is regularly used.

This year, I thought about making a quilt for the SIL. She is 10. I KNEW she wouldn't appreciate it, but I was just going to make it a BONUS gift, along with her video games. In the end, after conferring with the mother (this would be S-MIL, not the MIL mentioned above), we determined that halfway completed quilt pink/yellows, greens color palette would not be a good match for SIL's new fondness for black and blue.

Surely, you KNOW these people that you have decided to pour blood sweat and tears into making these gifts. Surely you KNOW their personal style if you are making them a gift that is intended to compliment their personal style. SURELY you know what their preference is in a color palette. If you don't know these things, why are you starting to begin with?

I realize that it is hard to make something and have it not appreciated, but everyone has their own personal taste, and anything in opposition to that whether storebought or handmade is not going to be appreciated.

I totally agree...
I have to admit, I made a cheater cloth quilt for my BIL, they have huge dogs they sleep with, I couldn't make a quilt for them because of that!

My goodness honey you have been doing a lot of thinking. I only make things for those who I know would appreciate it. That's why my in-laws will never get anything from me homemade or store bought, especially the FIL.

I totally disagree. Yes, I have my own taste but I accept gifts graciously b/c of the thought and time/work, whatever went into the decision to give me something.
My MIL has the worst taste of anyone I've ever known!! Over the years she has given all of us absolutely nothing we would ever want or use and that includes my DH (her son) me, and our 3 kids.
We would never let her know b/c it gives her great joy to shop, wrap etc.
It doesn't matter in the long run. We'd rather see her happy. The stuff goes to Goodwill and places like that. She is none the wiser.

My Mom is the only one who ever made me quilted items and she is gone now, so I would be thrilled for someone to give me one. Even if it weren't my favorite colors/pattern I would be still be thrilled to know someone cared enough about me to make and give me a quilted item.

I read a post the other day from someone who made quilts for everyone, and described each person's reaction. I myself am not a squealer nor do I jump up and down. My daughter is very quiet and reserved. It doesn't mean we don't like something though. I don't cry in front of everyone either....so just because you don't get a crazy reaction doesn't always mean that the reception is lukewarm or whatever.

I believe we need to know the people we are making quilts for, I know my BIL's and each one is treated differently.
See what their colors are, and go with what they like or have in their home.

And yet people here complain when the quilt gets put in the goodwill pile? What will maw maw think when she finds out?

I do agree, that all gifts should be accepted with gratitute. But you cannot feign excitement. And I can think of many ways to help maw maw in her shopping habits if these gifts are truly detestable.

I think the gift is the time and effort that goes into a handmade item. It's three minutes to click and buy something online for someone, and four hours to make a purse. Either item might be a mistake in style, color, etc., but knowing someone took the time to do something special they thought I would like is worth the gratitude.

However, many people don't know what goes into a handmade gift and would likely be shocked at the time and effort, not to mention the money, it takes to put together a gift like this.

It's disappointing for the giver, very much so. But forgivable, and a lesson learned when it happens.

My MIL never made gifts. She bought things, still does. She SEES our home, clothes etc, but has a mind of her own about shopping!
If she made quilts that would be a different story. But I guarantee her fabric choices would match her other choices!! lol I would NEVER give a quilt to Goodwill if she made one.
Frankly, she's bought so much for so many over the years I doubt she keeps track of who got what.(5 kids, 16 grands)
She's never once asked anyone where is the sweater, vase, etc.

For me, sometimes I will just make a quilt. I don't know who it is for.

I have made quilts and given them to the elderly people in my area, or made a baby quilts and someone I know becomes pregnant and I give them the quilt.

Now, if someone asks for a quilt, or hints they would like something homemade, I do tend to find out what their colors are or what room they will put it in so I can match somewhat of the decore.

I don't like making quilts and they not get used. I like to quilt, and I like to give. I try very hard to give a gift I know will be used.

If I know someone is not going to use something I make, I won't give it to them. That is common sense. But, I hope that I am always a giver of my work and can only hope the person that gets it appreciates it.

I love homemade gifts. I don't think I could ever be unhappy with a gift. That is just me and I like me! LOL

(Playing devil's advocate here--yes, I make things for people, and am just as dissapointed as everyone else when they are not appreciated, but in the recipients mind...)

Yes, thank you so much for this quilt, that i think has the ugliest brown fabric in the world. I don't want to look at it, it clashes with mycurtains, and oh yea it has golf balls on it, but I appreciate that you spent hours working on something I will never ever want to look at again. Are you going to ask me in a year if I still like it?

Nah, I'm a "give and let live" kind of girl. I would hope when I asked you next year you'd be more specific about your gift list, though. LOL

I do always indicate when I give any gift that if they don't like it, I'll replace it. When I give a handmade gift I include in that offer where I'd like the item to go if it doesn't suit them, in part so they know I'm serious.

Ugly brown fabric with golf balls........... hahahahahaah :D
You are a hoot!

recieving is more of a challange to character than giving ---when someone reaches out to you with a gift accept the love first then the gift should realy not matter---thank you is very easy to say-- i got a pet rock for xmas the love + the pride shining from my gransons eyes is making me tear up as i write this --what a special gift i got

I see all points of view here....all I can add is that ultimately it depends on the person you want to give the gift of a quilt to. I am just as guilty as the next quilter who would appreciate "oohs" and "ahs". But I'm learning that's not always going to happen. Such is life!

I think we're kindred spirits.

A couple years ago I was treated to a number of handmade gifts that were really thoughtful and nicely done, just not 'me'. However I'm not about to tell the little sweethearts that made the duct tape coasters and the slit leather drink holder that I have no use for them!

I agree with Alimaui.

A few years ago, I was given 6x6 fabric squares. I was not enthused with the pattern or colors. But, I was thankful and put them away. About six months ago, My DD and I were going through some of my things and found the patches. She absolutely loved them. Hmmm, what am I missing here? I realized that they were given to me by someone we both love and those patches represented her. So, I gave my DD a couple of them and I am now in the process of creating a quilt with those patches - I love them, now. I believe time will tell. Quilt what you want with your heart's content. Give it freely and pray it will be used or preserved wisely.

I recently won a quilt in a raffle. It's a crazy quilt which I'm still not sure if I'm crazy about. But when they called my name that I had won it I got choked up and I don't even know the people that made it!! I think a quilt in the right persons eyes is like getting a big hug every time you cover with it. IMHO

Just my two cents but I would just have to thank anyone who made a special gift for me. Over the years, I've received handmade gifts that I think "what in the world am I going to do with this". I made a special place in my sewing room/office for these "love gifts"!

Life's too short. Make and give. Receive with grace and love.
Annie

People better get back to appreciating the homemade gifts, the time may come that will be all someone can do.
I love homemade gifts that means that person took time out of their busy lifes to think about me..

boy, i TOTALLY AGREE! and to add just a little more...
when i give a loved one a quilt and visit...if i see the kids used their quilts to make a fort (they love making forts...and what ever blanket they can get their hands on works) i was not upset...i helped. sometimes reading peoples posts here really makes me wonder...
what did you make the quilt for? you give it to someone and if they use it...you are mad...it will show signs of being used...heaven forbid...
if they do not use it, but pack it away in a box or chest never (well maybe once in awhile) to be seen again...you are mad...geeze....
if anyone in my family was regularly reading on here they would be so .... confused.... what are we to do with the quilts you give us?
I SAY USE THEM...HOW EVER YOU WANT...IT IS YOURS NOW...
and, if it wears out...YEA! NOW I HAVE REASON TO MAKE YOU ANOTHER ONE! and i've made lots of purses...i make them, i show them to people i (thought) i would give them too.... if i show one and hear...WOW, HOW COOL IS THAT...I LOVE IT...well, that person gets the purse...if the response is more along the line of...OK...nice i guess...do you carry that? well, i know she wasn't as (taken) with it as i am...i don't waste her time with it.
people sometimes seem to put a little too much expectation on others...
if you make quilts you want to give away, but do not want used...tell the person you are giving it to...put it away, and 'show it' once in awhile...if you make a quilt you do want used...tell them when it is worn out you will make another one...then don't get all....indignant when you visit and it is being used...it's not yours any more...your part is over MOVE ON

I am the kind of person who never seems pleased with gifts but those who give me gifts know me well, and realise I get overwhelmed by kindness and am trying not to cry and don't know what to say. It is not because I don't like the gifts given me the exact opposite.

I make quilts with no one in particular in mind. Then if someone sees one of them and says how much they like it I will most likely give it to them. That way I know the quilt will be appreciated.

Well said!

Sorry, but if I go to the time and trouble of making you a quilt or wall hanging, it better be on the bed or hanging on the wall! Quilt in avatar was made for niece's wedding. She loves it and wants matching pillow cases.

Awww, that's so sweet!! Love this one :)

Amen.

I know my family well enough not to make quilts unless they pick out the pattern and fabric. My sister made quilts for her teenage grandchildren, but let them pick out the patterns and fabric. They loved them.

Honestly, there are lots of pictures of quilts posted on the board that I think are gosh-awful ugly. We all have different tastes.

Total agreement!

I have not read the other responses (must RUN to Joannes before al the Christmas fabric is gone!)

This is a blog post I wrote on Christmas eve:

http://aliaslaceygreen.wordpress.com...ord-is-thanks/ :mrgreen:

It is really all I have to say about the situation, other than I make a lap quilt--- easy (but different) pattern, random Christmas fabric, every year. Whoever I draw in the Secret Santa for the family gets it. I could care less if they appreciate it. Eventually EVERYONE in the family will have a quilt from me, and then no one can say anything about someone else getting better. I spend easily more $$$ than anyone else on my SS gift, and certainly more time....

I would only give quilts or quilted items to people who I know would appreciate them. Usually they are people who have seen the quilt in the process and commented that they really like it. I would cut back on gifts for everyone and only give either money or gift cards to the adults (my grown children) and quilts for the grandkids (11 years and under). They seem to appreciate them.
Sue

If someone gave me a handmade purse, quilt, afghan or whatever, regardless if the gift was my colors or not or if I would ever use it, I would give them a sincere thank you for the lovely gift. It means that they thought enough of you, to go through the expense and time and effort to make something unique. They could have just gone to the store or online and bought something that is mass produced and just like everyone else has-same color, same thing, etc.

I love your honesty!

I agree about knowing my family also. There are a couple I would never make a quilt for...

I wanted to make rag quilts for all the GK's this year (got three done). Here's what I did FIRST. I emailed each Mommy and stated my plans. I asked if they thought the kids would like to have them. I even ran colors and likes and dislikes by the Mommies. I said I was going out the next day to purchase fabric and if they thought the kids would not like them or they thought it was a dumb idea to let me know...my feelings would not be hurt. They all loved the idea!! One quilt is being given today, two on Saturday and the other three have to be made yet. I feel I avoided a lot of hurt and disappointment for myself and avoided putting my husband's DIL's in an awkward position. (they don't seem to appreciate anything). I may make the mommies a table runner and napkins for Christmas next year, but nothing toooo personal.

I give quilts to people I know will use them. I pick a pattern and fabrics that I know they will like. I don't expect them to be over the moon about it (but it sure does my heart good when they are, lol).

This year, my mom and my MIL got quilts from me. They both cried because they loved them. They both knew how much time and work I put into them. They both were thrilled with my fabric choices. I know my mom and my MIL and what they would like. I was right.

I wanted to do quilts for my FIL and step dad...but I just couldn't think of something that would SUIT them. My step father and FIL are both artists in their own right. My step father paints, my FIL does wood work - I have stunning work in my home from both of them. I know they will both appreciate a quilt from me - because of the thought and the work put in...they "get it"...but I couldn't decide on fabrics and what not. Over Christmas this year, it clicked, I knew what to make for each of them. They'll get them next Christmas...they will love them, I know this. If I didn't think they would "get it", appreciate it, or that a quilt would suit them, I wouldn't make one. That's why I didn't make one for my BIL, and probably won't.

I couldn't agree more with alimaui! Some people complain here a lot about improper gratitude for and treatment of quilted gifts. I just don't get it. It's a gift!