Several months ago, I asked a friend to give me an idea for a quilt. Not being a crafter so much as a smart alec, he suggested "70s porno." To his face, I dismissed my friend's suggestion and called him a pervert (he's actually a very nice person), but I filed away the idea nonetheless. The real challenge of such a project would not just be to stick to the theme (some obvious applique ideas spring to mind), but to create something attractive and tasteful enough to want to display even *outside* the bedroom. Over the next few months, however, few patterns and prints stoked my interest. Finally, this past winter, I found what I had been searching for: Valentine's day prints. I found the perfect combination of kitsch, color, and questionable taste. Hooray for animal prints! But in the interest of keeping the kitschiness to a minimum, I purchased only a small amount of the prints, and opted for yards and yards of solid black and red, thinking that my pervert friend, to whom I plan to give the quilt, would like that better than lots of hot pink leopard-print hearts.
Months later, I've been giving the project more thought. Although I've already decided to title the finished quilt, "Baum Chicka Baum," I'm thinking of doing something that looks more sleek and modern. Maybe an op-art look? With the prints as accents or borders? Anybody have ideas or suggestions? I'd love to check out pics or links.

Unfortunately I have no ideas for you, but I think the story is hilarious, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with! (And somehow a big gold medallion should find its way onto the top....)

Well, let me start off by stating that googling 70's porn pictures is not a good idea!!!! How 'bout using the black to do some curvacious applique! No details...just black figures....

that is hilarious!! I laughed so loud I almost woke hubby up

I have no ideas either but its a funny story

Yah baby! Your fabrics remind me of an Austin Powers movie. Great choice and make a cheesy over the top 70's groovy quilt!

Yeah, hope hubby doesn't look at my history tab....he'll probably get some crazy ideas

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That was more or less my idea too. I have, somewhere, some pattern books of my mothers' from the 1930s, and they have several graceful black outline and full black figures advertising the clothing. Actually they are lovely, wish I knew where I'd put them for safety.

That would be lovely with that collection of fabrics you have.

Or maybe a few Victorian corsets, black satin...no, it's supposed to be from the naughty 1970s..peace signs, bell bottoms, free sex, granny glasses, Volkswagen buses with painting all over them, Nauru jackets, jeans with the inside seams cut out and totally ugly fabric sewed in to make a skirt, earth shoes, smoking mary jane (and I don't mean a girl), long hair for both sexes, long mustaches (on anyone who could grow them) always protesting something or other with a lot of screaming companions with big hand lettered signs, no one seemed to hold down a job, unless they had parents who sent them money to stay away, or were on welfare.

Come to think of it, the 70s weren't very sexy, (perhaps sexy and pornographic are two different things here) and I seem to have worked at home with my kids and DH and we totally missed out on whatever "fun" that was supposed to be happening then.

Better confirm just what kind of sexy porn from the 1970s this guy is talking about. Check to see if he is old enough to remember those days. Watch a movie that he might have to loan you.

I was getting sleepy but this is so funny, I just woke myself up laughing.

I have a house full of teenage boys (12-19 y/o)....maybe Marc will assume it was one of them and have "the talk"

Oh how I wish I'd purchased that fabric that had tiny penises printed on it! I've regretted not purchasing it ever since.

How about a slice and dice crazy quilt? With a little added black lace and the whole thing framed with a pink boa? I was just trying to remember what Las Vegas showgirls were wearing in the 70's. Not really porn, but close. This could be really fun.

Now I want some...just for the novelty

I cant wait to see it done! This is a fav post!! Too funny! Love it title. Do figure silhouettes in black!!

Might have to Spoonflower it. I really wanted to put some of the fabric in a quilt for my mother to hang in her family room, then see how long it took her to spot the penises. Bwaaa haa haaa!!!

Omg...i think you are my new best friend...that' s exactly what I was thinking

Ok, here's an idea....sexy silhouette with 70's tie dye around her....i know these are't the fabrics you have...but would definately work..

I am pming a link with some fabulous sexy silhouettes to you...won't tell you what I had to go thru to find this....images burning in my mind....but this is appropriate for what you want...not necessarily appropriate to post link here!!!!

Oooh, gold lame would be PERFECT!!! And maybe you could add some feather boa as trim somewhere, rofl!

I was in a fabric store once and came across a woman who was an older, larger version of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. In her cart she had a bolt of metallic gold sheer fabric with sequins all over it. She also had a bolt of hot pink spandex, and 2 feather boas - 1 hot, bright pink, and the other black. I was fascinated. I asked her if she was making a costume. Nope - she was decorating her bedroom. :shock:

You girls are hilarious!! A great idea for a 60th birthday present, but you'd really have to choose the recipient carefully......

Your fabric selection is great. If you want to play on words, how about "robbing peter to pay paul" in some variation?

:mrgreen:

Oooo, I DID!!!! At Houston years ago. :roll: :mrgreen:
By a year ago and a decade single I'd long since forgotten what 'they' were good for and gave the fabric to an artsy-fartsy friend, LOL!

Signed: "anonymous"

Look at the hour at which we are having this topic.......how many of us are on here dashing between the sites and have never 'fessed up before?! Alikat, I wish I'd been a fly on the wall in your computer room!

I'm too old to be thinking about this stuff!! At least that's what I tell my daughters, LOL!! :mrgreen:

Jan in VA

I have a FQ (not for sale). I keep it in with my I Spy fabrics.

I have to tell you that EVERY person buying it at the show (Lowell, years ago) also had in mind a plan to somehow clandestinely incorporate a piece in a quilt/wallhanging for either their mother or MIL.

1970s porn. Ever see 'Valley of the Dolls"? That about covered it, you didn't miss a thing.

I have to say, this is the funniest post ever!!! I agree you should get an award for it. Don't think I have laughed this much in years. Must say, I don't need to clean my contacts now. lol
As for making the quilt for your Mom and seeing how long it took her, or anyone else, to find them, it would have taken my Mom (rest her soul) about two seconds. She could spot an open zipper (on a man of course) a mile away. She was such a hoot, really miss her!!
Can't wait for you to post the finished quilt. Just make sure you get a picture of him when you give it to him. That will be the "priceless" picture.
Thanks so much for sharing and letting us get in on the fun.

Love it!

Not sure what you could use for fabrics, but you could also cut squares of the black and red, and silhouette stitch "positions" -lips, even x's and o's for hugs and kisses, playboy bunny ears...you know what I mean! Also, sew black lace pieces over the red and vice versa, making lace squares.

To the poster who said "too old" -- no way! Never too old for fun! ;)

For balance you need some "boobys" too.

I like the idea of black siloettes laying on the leopard skin.hehehehe!!!

This post is hilarious!!! :D

I love the idea of blocks with silhouettes maybe covered with a layer of lace as suggested.

Love the name - Love the story - Love the smile you put on my face. I have no suggestions, but still smiling. :-)

Love beads! Don't forget them! And I keep thinking of those black silhouettes--on tie-dye they would look awesome--about 18" blocks. Did you know that you can make fake tie dye using markers and plain ol' rubbing alcohol?

How about some silhouettes in spike heels, you could quilt fish net stockings on and nothing else. Or a busty girl burning her bra!!

I've seen a pattern that looks like zippers, that would make an interesting touch... either as outer border or around the center print, something like that

Agree on both counts!! We use a specific kind of vibratory device for seed pans on our machines and my husband (who is NO prude) was horrified when he googled "vibrators". Also not recommended.

Love the idea of black silhouettes.

love the story too. Sounds like it could have come from Margarita night at the quilt guild when they decided on the next challenge quilt.

I want the penis fabric. would make something for my sister,,mmm maybe others also!!

The only porn movie I remember from the 70s(not that I really watched them) is "Fritz the Cat" which is more kitch than porn with a lot of cartoon animals.

I don't really have any ideas, but I think this is my favorite QB thread ever. EVER.

Oooooooh that's naughty! LOL I can imagine my Mom noticing that!! Love it! I'll be keeping an eye on this thread...sounds entertaining!