Sometimes I don't finish a quilt for a while because it is something I have done for myself and always I was taught to do for others first. Sometimes I don't finish a quilt for a while because I have enjoyed each step of it's construction that I don't want it to end. Sometimes when I finish a quilt it is the best feeling in the world.

I had a reluctance to finish my quilts but for different reasons. Even though I have a Pfaff Grand Quilter, I finally figured out that I love the piecing but hate the quilting. I come from generations of hand quilters who all tried to get me interested, without pushing me, but I just never liked it. I didn't even sew a quilt top until 8 years ago and to date I have sewn 224 quilt tops. I've tried hand quilting, small machine quilting and a friend's long arm... none of those are my thing. So now I tie the comfort quilts, and pay someone to quilt my big quilts. Perhaps you could break down each segment of the quiltmaking process to see if you love it.

Would a quilt-a-long with others on QB work? You would all pick a UFO to work on over a very specific time and post as you go??

I understand how you are feeling. I like the piecing, but not the quilting, as well. This week I finished a quilt for a dear friend and it didn't turn out the way I thought it would. Disappointing. Maybe if my friend likes it, I'll feel better. The end is never as good as I think it will be. Scrappies turn out well for me, so that might be where I should focus. I hope you can find your way through to liking the quilting, too.

I'm wondering if the pain of seeing now that your work is quite good is a kind of grief about creative "children" that went unborn because of the old stories. As I get older, I find I need to acknowledge grief about unrealized potential and lost opportunities in order to free myself up for today. Thank you for sharing your struggle with this issue.

Don't compare yourself tto others as you have a talent and it is time for you to shine. There are people whi just do not like the quilting part so take it to a longarmer or have someone do that part for them.

I'm a longarmer and it is always hard to see something leave me.But,there's no choice.And we become emotionally attached to things.So,when they are done they need to go to another place and we loose control of them.Control might be the issue.Not problem mind you.But issue.There is always part of me that is put into what I do.And when I have to let it go part of me goes with it.Good thing I do lots,because I'm filld back up with other things.I'm rambling.Sorry

I had a quilt that was quilted but not bound for over a year. I finally decided that it would take just a couple nights to finish, which I did. I have two at the quilters and I am having her do the binding and the other two at another quilters I will finish. It seems that once you get the quilt done and only have the binding it is easier to start another quilt instead. Like others please show the quilts.

I have a few UFO piles... some of them move from pile to pile - some have been stuck for years. There is the - started, and got far enough to see what it looked like pile - the blocks together, waiting for borders pile/combined with a finished top waiting for quilting pile - and then there is the quilted waiting for binding pile.

The funnest part for me is the challenge of something new - so I start something and loose interest quickly once I see I can do it and get a pretty good idea of what it will look like. I think that's why I like the bargellos and OBW so much - you're never really quite sure what it will look like until it's done.

Don't let those criticisms of the past get in the way of becoming your own person. I, too, had critical sisters and a mother who never paid me a compliment. Until I was 35, way after I was married, I kowtowed to the women in my family. Suddenly, I realized that they no longer controlled me. My husband is supportive, at times, and I know that I can do many things they could not do. Find your strengths and run with them, including binding those quilts. Check out Sharon Schamber's binding tips and let us see the results.

I, too, get to a point where I do not want to view the finished project. It is more on the bigger quilts, not on a smaller project like a table topper, runner, or small wall hanging. I don't know if it is the "it is the end of working on this" or if it is "now what am I going to do?" I still, after about 35 years of quilting do not have the confidence to choose printed fabrics. I made Amish inspired quilts for years because there is not pattern to the fabric, and now am working solely in batiks for the same reason. I can put the colors together, it is the patterns, values, etc., that drive me nuts when making quilts. I have found that buy buying the precuts, or staying in one line of fabric that I do better, and am getting a wee bit more confident in my choices, but still...

So, I relate totally. I need to get a couple of things basted and get on with them. I will post when I get them done. I have one, that I have called my "UGLY" quilt that needs to be tied and then bound. It was a BOM, and I detested the colors once I started it, and had a real hard time sewing it. Others tell me it is lovely. I don't think it deserves any more than a quick tieing. Is that how it is spelled? You all know what I mean anyway. Or maybe I should just bar tack ever square. Anyway, I relate. And I would love to see some of your finished products.

Anita in Northfield, MN

I was just thinking about this the other day!

I have several projects that are ALMOST done, and for some reason I am reluctant to finish them. I finally decided it was because though I get that "Finished Object Rush" when I do complete a project, there is also a sense of "Okay.... now what?" Weird, isn't it? I think it is because we get so involved in the whole process of "making", that when we are done, there is kind of a momentary vacuum. Granted, there are always more projects, but for a moment there is an emptiness where your concentration has been. Your thoughts are used to going to that project, and now it is gone, and it could be a little mentally disconcerting.

Or, that all may be a bunch of psychological bunk. ;) Maybe I just procrastinate! LOL

Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Now it is time to revoke the consent you gave others. Take charge of finding the binding method that feels right for you and you will enjoy finishing your quilts.

Can't finish my quilts
 

I have not read this entire thread, but my first thought was depression. Please make an appointment and see what your doctor has to say.

Otherwise, get together with two or three close quilting friends and explain your resistance to finish and ask for their help. They can probably relate. They can visit you first and get you started, and then the group can move to the next person's UFOs and assist her in finishing. With friends to cheer each other or and offer encouragement, you will all be starting new projects with no UFSs in the basket.

Also, have you thought of doing the binding by machine. Attach it to the back side first, turn to the top and then use one of your decorative stitches on the top. I like to use the herringbone stitch for binding.

Good luck. If I lived nearby, I'd be your helpful friend.

I feel your pain. Being the second youngst in a family of seven I always felt and still do actually, that my opinion never mattered. By the time I came along compliments were few and far between. It's unfortunate it's so hard to shake that negative baggage. Do you have quilting friends? If not we could be them. Post your quilts on this board and I'm sure you will get plenty of encouragement. By the way, I like making the tops but don't really enjoy the actually quilting part because I'm not very good at it. So let's see your quilts!

Dear Annesthreads,

Try to picture in your mind what the beautiful quilt will look like finished. This will help motivate you to the process of completion. This helps me a lot, especially when I get stuck on a problem or issue with the top. I stare at it, and try to imagine it's beauty once finished.

Upon some soul searching about my life, I have come to realize one of the ways I love myself, is cuddling up under one of my creations, a quilt. I truly feel the capacity of loving myself, complete through working so hard to finish. I love to lay under a quilt, a feel the abundance of self love. It really is a beautiful thing.

It's a good thing to love yourself. Sometimes it's hard to do, especially when we tend to replay old messages.

I have also come to realize when I give my quilts away, that I too, hope, they will feel my love. It's like giving love away to those I care most about.

I hope that helps. Let us know how you do. A lot of people here care about you.

Love,

mmonroe

Anne, you have hit a nerve with a lot of people! Thanks for sharing your story.

I looked at the quilts on your blog- very well done. You seem to be a process person, in which case it would not be do surprising that your focus is not on 'getting it done'.

Has this discussion helped make the process of finishing any more appealing?

Hi, Annesthreads,
Boy can I relate! I have many tops just about finished....but I keep moving on to new projects! The why for me is that I absolutely love the challenge of seeing pattern and colors come together....when I see how well it 'works' I am so pleased....for me it's the process...not the finished project. I keep telling myself that it's my creative side and it's okay! LOL...but someday I really MUST get them finished. I'm beginning to realize that there is a lot of time and $ tied up in them and no one is getting any pleasure from them piled up unfinished. When I look at it that way I think I can use them to make someone else happy and that gives me some encouragement! So, let's work together trying to finish them up one at a time!!! Deal? Maybe I need someone to challenge me! Take care! Chigger

Yes, I have two tops that are waiting as well. I am a procrastinator and a borderline Hoarder. I personally think that if I finish them then they must go live somewhere other than my home, but I love them so I want to keep them thus I don't finish. You work so hard, put so much time in, then what? DO they have to live somewhere else? Or can keep them? Or is that selfish?

Been there!! BUT I have a stubborn streak and if you tell me I can't or I am not good enough I will prove you wrong. I know I am not perfect but I am a winner...just like you!!! Let your light shine

I can relate -- For many years I couldn't seem to finish any project -- It didn't matter what it was. I wasn't that way when I was a kid. Then I figured out that it went back to my not-so-DH -- my first DH. He was super critical and nothing I did was right. So I guess that I decided that if it wasn't finished, I had a come back -- "I'm not finished with it yet"

Even tho everyone else thought what I did was great, I still had this hang-up. Now that I know why, I can finish things -- sometimes not too swiftly -- but they get done -- and I understand my "weakness"
Mim

Hi annesthreads, I just looked at the 2 whole cloth quilts. They are beautiful. Now I need to investigate what "whole cloth" quilts mean. Just hang in there and keep trying. I know I have Adult ADD b/c I get bored with one project and have to stop it for a while and go on to another. Then bored with that one and go back. It drives my SIL crazy but I have finished lots of projects here (while at dads in Indy). Still have a few more to work on but today was a rough day. My nephew was hurt about 5 am and is in the hospital waiting to see if there is a need for the neurosurgeon. So some days are just not sewing days. I really enjoy the piecing of the quilt top; love hand embroidery, paper piecing. Have tied quilts for years. Took a hand quilting class last year but, she taught without any kind of hoop. You just put it .. I am getting good at the rocking the needle but not sure if that is how I want to quiltl. so hang in there and do what you like. Enjoy. Teresa

After I have finished a quilt, it takes a little while to tackle another one. I just want to bask in the glow (or the high) i feel when it is completed.

I can't believe people would say such a thing. Every quilt is beautiful and if others do not think so, that is their loss. They are the ones that are missing something, not you. Please believe that!!!!

I feel your pain. I have only finished piecing two quilt tops but have many UFOs. I feel some kind of fear of finishing a project. I must admit, I am a perfectionist, and this effects me. I try to let go of this and tell myself that it is okay if it isn't perfect and that whoever recieives that quilt would love it no matter what. My sister also quilts and she can whip up a quilt and have it quilted in no time. I, too, suffer from depression. I find myself coming up with all kinds of excuses why I cannot sew. I can spend endless hours going through fabrics and patterns I have already matched up to them. I also find that I want to start a new quilt even before finishing my UFO's. I am trying very hard to choose one project and finish it. It is hard, but I feel I must prove to myself that I must try to put my fears to rest and make progress. Hopefully after I've finished one UFO, I'll get excited about finishing others.

I am guilty of starting too many quilts before I finish one. I hope this is not a sickness. My intentions are to get them finished, and I do, ever so slowly. I think with me, is the wanting to make all that interest me, and cannot wait until I finish one, before I start another. This year I did finish several tops, but now I have a stack to quilt. I have a long arm, but do not enjoy that part as much. I guess there are just some things one has to push to get done. With owning a long arm it can be part of the problem. Folks are always asking me to help them. I have rescued a couple, done several for charity and so on. It is just really hard to get to mine.

A lot of truth in this, thankyou. But I also wonder if I have a fear of SUCCESS! Sounds crazy, but I've always been self-identified as the failure, the klutz, the one who can't do this stuff. Discovering that I can make quite good looking quilts has been exciting, affirming - but also perhaps a bit scary. Does this sound totally insane?

Yes! Beautifully put. That's an aspect I hadn't thought of, but how insightful. Thankyou very much.

No, I don't think so. Yes, I know that I can certainly get too self-absorbed and lost in the whys and the significances of my struggles, and this thread probably totally exasperates some board members who just get on and do stuff instead of talking about it (!) but when the past is complex and painful, or when so much of yourself is tied up in a creative project, there are useful things to be learned from self-awareness and observing of one's reactions and resistances. (Up to a point - there comes the moment of "just DO it!")

Right on! Thankyou

Would you like to move to the UK, Suz?

Sadly, there are no local quilting friends. I've tried to find them, but there are only two guilds in this area - one is very snooty and I wouldn't be "good enough" for them, so I prefer to leave them to disappear up themselves, and the other treated me like something from another planet because I had no husband and grandchildren to talk about (their only topic). The board is my guild, and a really lovely one too!

That's an interesting insight - thankyou. And thankyou for taking the trouble to look at the blog.

Yes, the discussion on here has been helpful and illuminating. And - I very nearly finished a quilt yesterday! Just have to put right one small problem. I promise you all that I'll do that today...

I hope your nephew is OK, Teresa. Glad you liked the wholecloth quilts. I was amazed at how well they turned out - really wouldn't have thought I could do it. Wholecloth is quilting onto one piece of fabric, rather than onto patchwork, so the quilting gets ALL the attention, which is what made them so daunting to do.

No, just a way of being, I think!

I find it very difficult to finish something unless it has a Home to go to, be that my sofa or someone elses.

So much of what I do right now is class samples and often I come up with new deisgns at short notice and don't have time to quilt items. But this weekend I was offered a new course which had some specific criteria attached and I adpated two blocks from another course and made a wall hanging. yes, made from start to finish including putting a hanging sleeve on!!!! Okay so it isn't labeled yet, but that involves getting the embroidery machine out.

I have quilts layered and ready to quilt that have been layered up for years. Once they are quilted I do tend to get on and bind them fairly quickly. but I had one that stayed unbound for a few years. It was intended as a gift for someone who I realised would not apreciate it, then the second intended recipient, I fell out with, so it wasn't until a particlualry harsh few days of winter when I relised I needed an extra quilt for my bed. It was bound before the end of the day and now has a happy home on my own bed.

Don't beat yourself up, If you enjoy the process do that enjoy the process.

It is sad about the local guilds I know I left one here becasue of the pushyness of the organisers. I was either expected to always teach the others (for free) and/ or to do the group project which was always hand sewing. I don't do hand piecing and I don't like hand quilting so I stopped going. Fortunately there are at least twoother lovely guilds local to me where My skills as a teacher are valued and not exploited and my need to be a Student and a quilter for my own sake not just a teacher is just as important to them as thier own work.

I envy your wholecloth quilting exploits and the beautiful results. You have inspired me to take sometime out and just play with my machine again, and hone my Machine quilting skills.

Good luck with all your projects you choose to do.
Becks

[QUOTE=annesthreads;5120355]I’ve been sitting here thinking about my inability to finish my quilts. QUOTE]

Hmmm! I may just fit into this category too. As long as we lived in the states, I made quilts like they were going out of style. I gave every one of them to someone who just had a baby or who just got married. I felt like I was learning a lot with each one, but then I decided to make the "perfect quilt" to give our elder son for his wedding. It was a sampler with all different 12" blocks set together with sashing. We moved to India and could only take two suitcases. Well, you try moving in two suitcases and see what you leave behind. Life moves on and leaves you with all those choices. Then we moved back for a few years and I began teaching school and had no time to quilt. That poor quilt top is still in storage somewhere. Maybe before I die someone will motivate me to get it done. I have others to finish too--some for children and some for grandchildren. I have started myriad and have had some situation to keep me from finishing them. Lately I think a lot about how long I have procrastinated and have been dreaming of getting back into finishing those one-by-one. I am praying I can do it one day and not leave my unfinished business to someone to throw out. When I think of all the work I have put into these tops, I know nobody would understand nor want to finish them.

I have the same problem.....and really enjoyed reading all of your posts. I, too, am a topmaker. I've known for years that I am much more of a PROCESS person than a PRODUCT person; that is, I love the process of finding the right pattern, often tweaking it in some way, finding the right fabrics, cutting and sewing and watching the top come together. Then my brain is "done" and ready to move on to another project. Another problem is that I can't/won't put quilts on my bed because of 100 doggie toenails (that's 5 dogs!) who love to play and sleep on my bed; so I use comforters instead of quilts; learned that one the hard way!!!!! I just finished a small project as a gift for a coworker.... my trick for binding and finishing when I HAVE to is to self-bind. You cut the backing 2" larger on each side than the top, fold the edge under an inch (giving you a double layer of fabric on the edge) and turn it to cover the raw edge. Pin, then one quick trip around the top with your sewing machine and you are DONE! Fast, and if anybody asks why I do it that way, I don't have to admit that "real" binding baffles and frustrates me; I just say "That's the way my grandmother did it" and that handles that!!!!!

Well, all this discussion seems to have had an effect because - roll of drums - I've just finished a quilt! It's a small wall hanging put together from some blocks a friend gave me, which I used to practice stippling and outlining for the Leah Day Quilt Along. It was interesting to work with these colours, as I usually stay clear of browns and autumn shades. I've had the binding on it for a few weeks, and managed to finish sewing it at my Mum's yesterday - visiting her is when I get some hand sewing done. That just left a small correction to be done on the machine, and this morning I've made myself go and sort it out - again, there was the inclination to put it aside, but this took me all of two minutes to do, and now the quilt is finished.

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As a young girl, I loved to draw. My mother wanted me to concentrate on "something real." She said my drawings were "time wasters and something that would get me nowhere". I stopped drawing and concentrated on the basics to get me a job when I grew up. I never took up another hobby that required creativity until I started quilting. She was not impressed with my quilting either and managed to tell me so often. Out of "revenge and/or hurt" I never made her a quilt. I would start one and not finish it. They were not good enough for her and I worried how she would criticize it. These actions only proved to her how right she was about my time wasters.

My mom died several years ago and when my sister and I went through her things I found many of my 50 year old drawings among her things. I was devastated.

As my silent tribute to her I have tried to make the most interesting and beautiful quilts that I can. I send them out to be quilted to make sure they are finished. I grudgingly bind them (it's my worst skill).

I don't know what to tell you about how to get from point A to point B about finishing your quilts, but you might try it one quilt at a time. Just do it, like the advertisement says. Good luck with this, I will keep reading this post to see how it works out. Hugs to you too and one for me.

Thankyou for sharing this. How terribly sad for your Mom and for you, that she was so unable to express her appreciation and damaged your confidence so much by her failure to do so. And deprived herself of the opportunity to have a beautiful quilt made by her daughter. Who can know why - maybe she was frightened for your future and wanted to be sure you focused on what would earn you a living. What a lesson to all of us, to encourage and affirm each other - we all need it.

It makes me think, because I've never offered a quilt to my mother either, never even considered it until recently - have just assumed she won't want one. And she would never ask. I wonder what part the memories of childhood putdowns and comparisons are playing there?