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Love your post...I can sure relate...and I would love to have you close enough to have you for a friend any day of the week!
Originally Posted by thequilteddove
(Post 6294500)
I'm a Chatty Cathy. I can talk about nothing for hours. I spend most of my days w/children or alone. My life is busy & full, but I still crave friendship. I tend to come across as a bit spacy. I reach out to other people, eventually I find ones that will accept me just the way I am. I have a huge heart. I'm generous. I'm kind. I'm a loyal friend. I've had many successes through out my life and many failures. I've had a lot of life experiences and I'm pretty much an open book. I try to accept people as they are, even if I think they're a wee bit odd. So long as a person causes no harm, who am I to say they are less in some way. I'm glad not every one I meet wrote me off that way. The people who know & love me have no problem say'n, "Woman, can you let me finish my sentence please!" We all laugh & I try hard to shut up. I can't help it... some people are compulsive shoppers, I'm a compulsive talker! I feel bad for the woman you're talking about. Perhaps once she feels a part of the group she won't have the need to be so chatty. Thank you Oma66 for being a person of acceptance. The world needs more of you. Now I know you can't be talking about me because we never meet. How many of us out here are incisive chatter boxes? They say that people come in to our lives for a reason... I hope you give this woman some time. Eventually she'll disappear if she senses she's not welcomed anyways.
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That is me...I am alone during the day...and when hubby comes home he watches tv, etc(he is naturally quiet anyway)....when I do get with people I tend to talk, talk, talk. I was thinking about going to a local quilting get together that is held a couple of times a month...after reading this thread though, I think I will just stay home. My birds and squirrels don't mind my chatter!
Originally Posted by illinois
(Post 6294534)
Perhaps when CC gets better acquainted she will tone it down. Sounds like nerves or maybe she's lonely and needs to connect with someone. People who live alone tend to talk more when they are with people. We women have a certain number of words to use each day and, if they aren't used they gotta come out somehow!
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Sometimes.. we all need a friend and sometimes we are all nervous around a circle of close knitted friends who have met for a while (Guild style).
The first guild and last guild meeting I ever went to ; the woman who sat next to me was so loud, arrogant and done it all type of person. I sat and listened while I was doing the block for the evening -found out some interesting things; to this day that woman and I are good friends who phone or email each other. The other women singled her out after the meeting and told her to zip it or not come back. WOW !! So we exchanged numbers and became very steadfast friends. Her family is related to the original Molly Brown and the stories were just wonderful to listen to. So one never knows who they will meet in life and become friends with .. |
I'm glad someone said this because I was surely thinking it! As a matter of fact, I am shocked that so many quilters are endorsing the idea of what I call "exclusivity." Just where is the Golden Rule to be practiced? I hope you are not this "exclusive" in your churches and synagogs! frogyintexas[
QUOTE=Steady Stiching;6294468]"The group could fold if this continues" I'm sorry but your group sounds extremely judgmental and not the type of group I would want to be a part of. The intolerance is pretty astounding after just one very nervous first meeting for your new "friend" I'm surprised ya didn't all stone her while you were busy talking behind her back.[/QUOTE] |
May be meet at someone's home for a couple of meetings.....................
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While I understand you are a "small group" rather than a guild, all I can think of is the many threads there have been about guilds that are unfriendly or unwelcoming. Not sure how your group is any different?
Unless this woman doesn't get social cues (there are many with disabilities who don't), my guess is that she won't be back, or at least not more than once or twice. I sure wouldn't return, and am grateful that the guild I belong to is more welcoming. Groups that are exclusive are sure to dwindle - whether through illness, busy-ness, loss of interest or passing of members. Without new folks joining, there's only one inevitable outcome. |
When in a new group, I chat a LOT! It's nervousness and wanting to find a way to relate to the others in the group. For the past two years, I've joined a quilting group at my church. That's one place everyone should be accepted, right? One lady came once and shared all the quilts she'd finished. She never returned. Two other church ladies were in the group before I started there. They now go to the local guild meetings instead. The leader of the church group openly told me, "I had to run that one off. She tried to take over my group." A picture was taken of the group for the church newsletter this past spring. I wasn't included, although I was at the church when they took the picture. Needless to say, I'm not going this year. And the "lady" that is the leader is a retired minister's wife...and now wants me to show her a technique she saw me using last year. Yes, I'll show her, because it's the right thing to do. I will not attend any meetings. Please, whatever you do, do not be mean to this lady. What goes around, comes around. You may not like her attitude, but she'll learn or leave on her own. Allow her the grace to do that.
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Ok Ladies: you said her DH died and with only grown Children(not at home) She is what is called Empty Nest 100%--She may talk like that for a year and then start crying and realize she has replaced her Husband with herself. This is a self protection syndrome and she will possibly grow out of it with friends around. Its possible her Children working and grands going to school do not have time for her and she feels all left alone. Dear Ladies-------Please just give her TIME.
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I thought it extreme that "the group could fold if this keeps up" -- If you have a private group then keep it that way and don't allow people to drop in. If you are an open group, and a newbie talks a lot, try to find some common ground. If she has been everywhere and done everything you may be able to relate somehow.
Originally Posted by FroggyinTexas
(Post 6295501)
I'm glad someone said this because I was surely thinking it! As a matter of fact, I am shocked that so many quilters are endorsing the idea of what I call "exclusivity." Just where is the Golden Rule to be practiced? I hope you are not this "exclusive" in your churches and synagogs! frogyintexas[
QUOTE=Steady Stiching;6294468]"The group could fold if this continues" I'm sorry but your group sounds extremely judgmental and not the type of group I would want to be a part of. The intolerance is pretty astounding after just one very nervous first meeting for your new "friend" I'm surprised ya didn't all stone her while you were busy talking behind her back. |
Meow! You have obviously never been exposed to a "talker". Please don't judge the guild until you've been exposed.
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