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countrycottage 04-26-2011 05:35 AM

I was always taught "If you can't say something good, say nothing at all."

Alondra 04-26-2011 05:37 AM


Originally Posted by DogHouseMom
I agree to a point, when I post something and ask for comments, I truely want honest opinions which includes constructive criticizm. Some advice I'll take, some I'll ignore - according to my desires and beliefs - but all constructive criticizm is appreciated even if not used.

A member (an experiencd quilter) posted several blocks the other day, the blocks had yet been joined together. She was looking for comments on the best layout. While she didn't specifically ask for constructive criticizm of the individual blocks *I* had noticed that some of the pieces in one block were flipped. Had it been my block I would have appreciated it being pointed out because that juncture it was easy to fix - so I did point it out to her, as did one or two other members. These things (brain fart mistakes) I think are appreciated when pointed out even if unsolicited. I would not however point out the same error on a quilt that was already quilted - why raise the dead?

When I see a pic of a first quilt or block by a new quilter, and their post starts with something like 'yippee - look what I did!' ... the block could be totally wonky but I wouldn't dare say a word. At that point of "oh my God I actually sewed a bunch of pieces together" - let them have that glory. I would prefer to see them retain that excitement and passion over the possibility of dashing it by saying it isn't right (which may make them think quilting is just too hard!). If they decide they love quilting they'll be seeing more quilts, the more they see the more they'll see the differences, and hopefully the more they will learn.

I agree 100%. Sometimes we have to remember that what looks great to us in our early quilting careers may not look so good to us when we have more experience under our belts. But that will work itself out as we gain skill. Meanwhile, in order not to discourage anyone, we all need encouragement, but it should be on the 'encouraging' side, rather than on the 'effusive' side. That said, I'll confess to being effusive sometimes, because when I see a quilt I think is outstanding, I can't contain myself - if a quilt inspires joy in me, I'll probably gush about it... and there are plenty of those on this board. There are so many truly talented people on this board, it makes my head spin. Thank you all for sharing.

quiltmom04 04-26-2011 05:38 AM

I think there is always, always, always SOMETHING positive to say. Whether it's excellent choice of colors, unique choice of colors, interesting choice of colors, you worked very hard, what a perfect size for snuggling - whatever - you can say something positive. But when someone asks about their techinical abilities and they are not so good - that's a bit harder. I always try to say find some area where their points DID match or the quilting IS good, and focus on that. I think when people look at your work and don't say anything, so as not to say anything NOT nice, it's disheartening, too.

Sunflower Girl 04-26-2011 05:38 AM

Ditto! Never like to dash someone's glory. I know the first few quilts I made looked crappy, but encouragement and praise keep you striving for better!

grandjan 04-26-2011 05:42 AM

Generally, if I don't find some merit in the quilt, I don't comment. Sometimes, though, the quilter is looking for advice or feedback to improve her skills and then I think we should try to help. There is almost always something positive to say, even if it is just that the quilter made a fine effort. I do agree that paying effusive compliments to a quilt that doesn't offer much is probably not helpful or genuine.

CoriAmD 04-26-2011 05:45 AM


Originally Posted by CarrieAnne
I can always find something positive to say. I was raised by the saying, if ya cant say something nice, say nothing at all.

My mother used to say this ALL the time when I was growing up - now I tell my girls that. So true!

Tweety2911 04-26-2011 05:48 AM

When a quilter has the courage to show their quilt, they are obviously very proud of it and should be encouraged with praise. I wouldn't critique unless asked and only if I am experienced enough to give good advice on that particular quilt design. If I can't find one good thing to say about it, then I wouldn't comment on it. I wouldn't want to be the cause of someone giving up a hobby because of some unkind words. Afterall, art is in the eye of the beholder :-)

pollym44 04-26-2011 05:52 AM


Originally Posted by JanieW
I read the quilt police thread and some of the comments made me think about the issue of giving false praise.

When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them?

I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful.

Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police?

At some point, all of us had quilts that didn't look "right". This works for me--- "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything"!!!!

mhansen6 04-26-2011 05:54 AM

I have never seen a quilt that wasn't lovely because I know how much work goes into each and every quilt. Even if the points are cut off, the fabric choices are not the ones I would choose, a lot of time, love and work go into each and every quilt. I try to point out the good points and forget about the bad ones. I can remember a time when I wasn't as good at quilting as I am now. Every quilt maker gets better with practice. Please find something to admire about every quilt your see. If it is just recognizing how much work went into it.

JCL in FL 04-26-2011 06:04 AM


Originally Posted by np3
If they haven't asked for help on improving their skills, then don't offer it. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all. It may not look right to you, but it looks right to them and that is all that counts. It may not be your color choices, but it was theirs.

I like what I like and I don't particularly care about the rules on color choices or contrast. If I am making a gift for someone, then I care about what they like, even if it isn't my style.

I agree. And if ask for opinions that is what I want.


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