I read the quilt police thread and some of the comments made me think about the issue of giving false praise.

When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them?

I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful.

Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police?

If I can't find something to compliment, I don't say anything.

I think it is the same as any praise, I try to find something good to say about the color, the pattern, the size,etc. Sometimes it is difficult but I try.:):)

I STRONGLY AGREE...HOW WILL WE IMPROVE IF WE DONT GET OTHER PEOPLES "HONEST" OPINIONS...????

I believe that those who post on the QB have given their best. I'm proud for them that they are doing what they love. If they ask how it could be better then offer suggestions otherwise I give them encouragement. It took me a while to realize that I don't have to comment at all. It is better praise or say nothing than point out errors. Just my opinion:) Happy Quilting:thumbup:

If they haven't asked for help on improving their skills, then don't offer it. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all. It may not look right to you, but it looks right to them and that is all that counts. It may not be your color choices, but it was theirs.

I like what I like and I don't particularly care about the rules on color choices or contrast. If I am making a gift for someone, then I care about what they like, even if it isn't my style.

I always try and say something positive. Personally, I am forever trying to improve my skills so I welcome honest criticism, but I have run into people who are not as receiving of anything but high praise. Those people usually are much better quilters than me, so it is easy to be honestly enthusiastic about their work!

I can always find something positive to say. I was raised by the saying, if ya cant say something nice, say nothing at all.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I would not say anything if I couldn't say anything nice. Now, if someone ASKS how to get a 1/4 inch seam better or how to prevent a border from being wavy, then I would tell them how I do it. I would need a specific question before I offered any advice.

Not saying anything is always an option...

if i just HAVE to say something that might be taken as critisizm i do it by pm, that way NOBODY else hears me so it should not be embarrassing, if they tell me to take hike, nobody knows! and the board is still at peace

I agree to a point, when I post something and ask for comments, I truely want honest opinions which includes constructive criticizm. Some advice I'll take, some I'll ignore - according to my desires and beliefs - but all constructive criticizm is appreciated even if not used.

A member (an experiencd quilter) posted several blocks the other day, the blocks had yet been joined together. She was looking for comments on the best layout. While she didn't specifically ask for constructive criticizm of the individual blocks *I* had noticed that some of the pieces in one block were flipped. Had it been my block I would have appreciated it being pointed out because that juncture it was easy to fix - so I did point it out to her, as did one or two other members. These things (brain fart mistakes) I think are appreciated when pointed out even if unsolicited. I would not however point out the same error on a quilt that was already quilted - why raise the dead?

When I see a pic of a first quilt or block by a new quilter, and their post starts with something like 'yippee - look what I did!' ... the block could be totally wonky but I wouldn't dare say a word. At that point of "oh my God I actually sewed a bunch of pieces together" - let them have that glory. I would prefer to see them retain that excitement and passion over the possibility of dashing it by saying it isn't right (which may make them think quilting is just too hard!). If they decide they love quilting they'll be seeing more quilts, the more they see the more they'll see the differences, and hopefully the more they will learn.

I agree to not offer constructive criticism or advice unless it is asked for. I also agree that false praise can be just as harmful as unsolicited constructive criticism. So it is best to just say nothing if you notice problems that can easily be rectified by changing or concentrating on perfecting a technique.

I agree with ,if you can't say something nice , say nothing at all. However; sometimes even when asked for an opinion I am apt to withhold because I'm often the odd man out...

I've seen quilts done by professionals that have made me cringe. I've seen quilts by beginners that just wowed me.

I won't ever critique someones work unless I've been asked. Then, as I've been taught in management classes, before giving advice, point out and praise what they did right.

I also try to follow my dear Aunt's advice, "If you can't find anything nice to say, it's best not to say anything at all."

I can't stand Picasso. If someone would ask me to say something nice, I would find it very difficult to say anything positive. But, if asked about Raphael, I could go on all day about what a fabulous artist he was. Yet both were famous. Go figure, I probably would be boo'ed out of a musuem! :roll:

Well, in person, things can be said gently, gauging the reaction of the quilt maker, to encourage and guide; or one may be able to see that even honest, gentle, constructive criticism will squash the budding artist, and thus only offer honest praise for what IS right. But online, even totally correct and kindly-phrased criticism can hurt and discourage. Tone, circumstances, so much cannot be conveyed online, so unless someone is asking for an opinion or frank assessment, I either praise what I honestly like, or move on without comment. I LOVE that this board is warm, kind, friendly, and non-judgmental 99.9% of the time. Other boards are not always so, and it's a shame. Let's protect what we are so fortunate to have here.

Well said.

Maia
Very well said! Much better than the way I said it.

I love this board and all the information that the quilters here are willing to share.

I consider someone a quilter if they have pieced just one block or a zillion quilts.

As a relatively new quilter, I was hesitant to post a photo of the last quilt I made simply because I felt inadequate compared to those who are so incredibly talented here. My quilt wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it was something I made with love for someone I love. Even though I'm thick-skinned to a degree, if I had been slammed, it would have hurt and I would have thought twice about participating again. Not every quilt is going to be worthy of a professional class quilt show, but the fact that the individual made a quilt and took the time to share it here is worthy of a nice compliment or encouraging word. Kindness grows more kindness and I've seen so much of that on this wonderful board.

I can almost always see something good in a quilt. When it's impossible (rarely) I don't say anything.
I'm totally in love with the process and how something looks is really secondary to me.
I love "hearing" the joy or feeling of accomplishment "heard" by other quilters.

My thoughts exactly. I recently posted a picture of a Dresden plate that I did. I'm not thrilled with it, but I'm getting some great advice to make it better.

I agree with your comment.

Good question-I hope I give honest praise, remembering colors/patterns one quilter likes may not be my favorite, but is it nicely done? If I ask for critique, I want truthful opinions to improve my quilt with-that is what I try to offer others when they ask. I do consider whether it's a first quilt or a beginner to encourage at a time when they are learning. Honest critique is good and I believe one reason we are here, seeking advice from each other, how we offer it is important-is it stated constructively. I've received great help and appreciate the caring attitude found here. We are all at different levels in our craft and the direction we choose to take it to. I will think upon this for future comments. If someone shares but does not ask for critique, would you give advice, praise, or no comment?

Asking for advice vs false praise are very different things.
I will give honest advice if I'm able and want the same from others.

i think there is a huge difference between giving friendly constructive criticism and being a nit-picky- (holier than though) quilt police person.
i want to know when i could use some friendly advice that will improve my quilting skills- i do not want the 'police' to pick apart my project and act as if only 'their=way' is the right way.
i do believe there is a huge difference between the two= and i strive to not behave like one of the (power hungry-pickers)and always show support and constructive advice

I agree with sending a PM if advice wasn't asked for. IMHO

If it's a "show and tell" they are proud of what they have accomplished. Be nice or be quiet...

If it's "tell me what you think" then comments to me are still on the nice side.

If it's "oh man where/how did I screw this up--I need help" then they have specifically asked for all the help they can get. Still be nice but offer help.

Never say something that could embarrass the maker...we want to encourage everyone to keep on keeping on :)

I would comment on the colors or the contrasts, things like that.
Egos are tender plants and must be nurtured.

BUT should anyone say their quilt is going to a judged show and wanted any criticism, then it should be an honest answer. That one small defect that her mind hasn't seen, might get her quilt passed over. That's what she/he wanted, advice and that is what she/he honestly asked for and should get.

Ditto! We novice quilters are usually only too aware of the faults and also usually ask for advice. However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Thank goodness.

when i hear talk of this it always makes me think of the quilts of Gee's Bend.

these quilts break many of the quilting rules and many quilters do not see the appeal of them yet the art community loves them and they sell for thousand of dollars for small quilts.

so, just remember that if a quilt doesn't fit the traditional standards of quilting doesn't mean it isn't a prized piece of art.

there's a place for all artists in our society and if quilters don't value your work reach out to the other art communities such as fiber artists which tend to break all the rules too.

Thank you for the voice of reason and compassion.

Different strokes for different folks....not everyone likes the same things. That which may not be so great to one person maybe great to another. Beauty is in the eye of the be holder.

If there is a major area that could use extra help then, if asked, point it out with kindness.

If it envolves color choices, perhaps those colors are the makers delight even if not your.

There are a few of us who may need a little help at one time or another but everyone can use a pat on the back now and then.

I've been stunned to silence a couple of times by a really bad job on something so instead of focusing on the project, I redirect my focus to the person and ask them if they had fun doing it, would they do it again, was it frustrating.

I mean, if they are standing there smiling, I don't want to just ignore them after looking at their project.

but really, beginning quilters need encouragement too!!!

This is a very interesting thread and I liked all comments and can see all sides of the issue. As a teacher of young children, I always pointed out what they did correctly, NOT what they did wrong. That way they can build on the good. That being said, I also think it is wrong to praise for shoddy work - how will we ever learn? maybe showing how we can make it "even better" puts a more positive spin on a gentle critique.

The loving kindness and encouragement is what I love most about this board. I know that there have been times when I have seen quilts or whatever posted here that were not great, but you were all so nice to the person anyway. I think we can all tell when it is false praise though. I follow the same rule as most everyone here about saying something nice or nothing at all. But that is not to say I only post if I love the creation. I simply do not have time to post on every single thread.

I am amazed and sometimes overwhelmed by the talent and creativity on this board. Who knew that there was such a great bunch of fantastic quilters that were also the kindest and most helpful people as well? I find it so refreshing. There is so much negativity on the internet, as well as an awful lot of bullying so it is nice to have a safe place to come and see that not everyone is like that.

I also thought of children. However, the difference between being a teacher (or a parent), then it is our JOB to point out how they can make it better or how to correct them, after, of course, being supportive?

I was always taught never to ask my child, after drawing an unknown picture and holding it up proudly for me to admire, not to say, "What is it?" But instead to say, "Tell me about it". You are asking the same thing, but in a different way.

Mostly I just don't say anything if I don't like the quilt. But, sometimes, as one lady pointed out, if there is a twisted block (I would want to know), then it is okay to mention it because they probably want to turn it around before finishing the quilt. But otherwise, it is either nothing, or commenting on the colors, the pattern, the style, the thought behind it, etc. After all, we can't really see too much with most of the pictures--not really up close and personal like you can in person.

I do appreciate the "positiveness" of the posters here. Thanks!

I like your way of thinking, especially in regards to new quilters. If I had be given even the least bit of criticism after completing my first quilt I probably would have just given up on this hobby for good. I did ask for help along the way, I am a very slow quilter and had plenty of time during rip outs to get that advice.

I have learned to cut myself some slack after seeing some of the quilts my quilter, (been published four times in the last two years that I know of, in magazines like Quilts & More) has done close up. Not every seam is perfectly matched up. I was quite surprised and relieved. Also, I have grown not only in skills, still much to learn, but in appreciation of design and colors. This does go back to the eye of the beholder. There are quilts I see that don't appeal to me at all, and then i remember that what I like now I didn't necessarily like before. Even if I don't like the whole quilt I can pick out something I do like about it. I love to look at the individual fabrics.

I so agree with your statement. I remember how PROUD I was of my first quilt....which after having completed many others, was not all that good. But I would have been devastated if someone would have said something negative, and would probably would never have quilted again.
Encouragement is always appreciated. Criticisim, even though it may be constructive, is at best, difficlut in person, in writing almost impossible. If You can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Unless asked and then be very careful and gracious.

Very well said!

There are so many skill levels and personal preferences represented on this board that I feel we each need to respect the effort made by our members presenting their work for our viewing. Who are we to judge another? Quilts are like people, none of them are perfect. I remember making my first quilt and not even wanting to show it to anyone because I knew it wasn't up to the standard of an experienced quilter. Yet I made that first quilt without any help while I was waiting for the birth of my first child. It carried all the love and hopes and dreams I had for him. He didn't care what it looked like. He still doesn't care that it isn't as pretty as the quilts I make now after years of experience. He cherishes it and keeps it still, as tattered and worn as it is and to him it is still beautiful. They are both 38 years old now. If someone had said the wrong thing to me about that quilt I may never have made another effort. I may not have gone on to take classes and expand my horizons and become better. My quilts today wouldn't win any prizes. I know that and frankly I don't care. I give them proudly from my heart, where criticism does not live. Ann in TN