To fix or not to fix--that is the question
 

Hey, everyone, I need your thoughts on an unfinished quilt. When my son was 12, he started making a quilt. It's a brown & teal mini trip around the world using the Tradition with a Twist method. He's a bit of a perfectionist and got frustrated and never finished the quilt. I'd like to finish it for him to have for his children (he and his wife just had their first child). His seams are inconsistent (varying from 1/2" to the edge of the patch). I've gotten different advice from just a few people. Some say fix it and make it as perfect as you can while others have said to only fix what's necessary for the integrity of the finished project. I have see-sawed back and forth and thus it remains in the UFO pile. I asked my son and he said that he'd like it to be straightened out but I'd like to keep his work as much as possible. I was thinking that maybe I could use various sections of his work for the backdrop for an applique project. They have a jungle theme in their nursery. I think this would allow me to keep much of his work while the viewer's eye would be more drawn to the jungle animals and the crooked seams can be worked in as part of the design element. I'd love to hear thoughts from board members. Thanks.

How serious a person is your son? Sounds like he knows what he prefers. Please listen to your son.

Most women like to see how we have progressed. Men want a finished product and if their name is associated with it, they want it to be something no one would tease them about. If you want that first incomplete project like it is, then save it and share with his child later on as you teach the child to quilt. Meanwhile, make something new, from you, for the nursery.

I'm divided on this, but since your son said he wants it "straightened out," I'd be inclined to keep it as true to his design as possible rather than anything else. It's basically his work as a child and he seems to want to keep it at some level. I'd probably rip apart and re-sew the worst of it and then finish it so he can claim to his child that it was (mostly) his childhood project. But that's me.

I agree do as your son has asked. Or you could always add a border around the too small blocks so that his work is all there with just a little help from mom.

I agree with Barb. Why would you ask him what he wanted if you are going to ignore his request? Fix it for him. He'll love it. You probably have other things that he made when he was young that will remind you of his childhood imperfections. But now he is a man and wants his quilt to be as perfect as is possible.

I love your idea, and would go with that. Make his child something from his project!

I have a project my son started years ago 80s on my wall in my sewing room it was to be a pillow with his name (Kyle) on it. It still says K Y L. Love it!

But I could see using it as a background. He might not appreciate it now but his child will later!

It would be ME TOO !! It might not be easy for you to do but he did tell you what he wanted. It doesn't have to be perfect. He could share this with his child and maybe your grandchild will ask you to help him make a quilt.

Take a picture before so you can remember the original work. You could print this on fabric and put it on the back. Then do as he requested. Have fun!

Fix it, he'll love it! It can be what his mind's eye saw years ago as a child.

After you take the picture for back, I like your idea of combining his work and yours. As the mother of 2 grown sons and 3 stepsons, all with strong personalities and most with children, the combination of his childhood effort and yours into a useful and enjoyable art keepsake will be appreciated I think. However, to be sure, I'd sketch it out and talk with him about what you're thinking of doing, he may have further input. I also wouldn't use cartoonish, babyish animals. I'd use realistic ones, that way it can be incorporated into a growing child's room, not just a nursery. JMO I look forward to pics of your project!

We need a picture!

I would also go with your son's preference, since you did ask his advice.

Now that you've asked him what he wants, I think you have to go with it. It is always dangerous to ask people what they want when what we really want is for them to tell us our idea is wonderful. It is his quilt. He asked you to fix it for him. He wants to give it to his child. Your son will appreciate that you've done this for him.

I would fix it as much as is reasonable to approximate your son's original vision for the quilt. If it's a child-size quilt, I would give it to the child to use -- the kind of quilt that the baby will lay on and later drag around the house. The quilt doesn't need to perfect; it just needs to be finished!

I have spoken with my son several times about the project and shown him a sketch of what I had in mind. I'll find it and scan it in to share. His work is still in strips and short combinations. I'll take some photos to post. While he's a bit of a perfectionist, he also respects my artistic ideas. I do a lot of drawing and he specifically asked for a certain style of animal representation that I've done in the past, so that part's easy. He liked my design, I'm just stuck on how much to alter his work. I won't be using the whole thing, but rather pieces and parts and I believe that I can make even the flaws work with the final design. I do like the idea of taking a picture to remember his work as he did it. I think that I will make a small scrap book that documents the quilts making from Dad's early work to Grandma's finishing work to show our granddaughter what we can do and to show that even though something seems too messed up, it can be turned into a treasured piece with love and patience. By the way, I did make another quilt that is completely Grandma's work for the nursery. This one was designed based on my daughter-in-law's preference for bold colors and a non-babyish design.

If I was simply finishing his quilt as he initially planned the mini trip around the world, I would definitely straighten it out to make it a piece of work that he could proudly claim. But since I'm only incorporating pieces and parts to work into a broader design, I'd like to keep the work that he did at age 12, so that he can say to his children that he sewed that part when he was a kid. If I take it all apart and redo everything, then it's like I'm erasing his work which I don't want to do. I'll post the sketch and pictures of his work tonight or tomorrow morning. I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and understand your point about meeting my son's wishes. What he wants is something to be proud of, something that he can say "I did that". I believe that a reworked design meets both my desire to keep some of his original work and his desire for a finished piece that he will be proud to claim some workmanship.

The quilt you've already made is adorable. I think you've got the right idea of keeping what you can of his original work and incorporating into your finish.

I love the quilt you did in the way requested by your DDIL. Very colorful and wild (animals) without being babyish. You nailed it there and I'm sure however you decide to "fix" your son's attempt at quilting will turn out to be equally as wonderful! And thanks for sharing the pic of your lovely granddaughter. She looks like a very happy girl :)

Since you asked him what he wanted I think you should do as he asked. I also understand wanting to preserve this little bit of history, so I like the previous suggestion of photographing it, both sides, for posterity, before you fix it.

If you fix his flaws it becomes your quilt not his. He did this when he was young and it should reflect that. You could even put a lable on it showing when he did it and the pattern, etc so that his kids know. Let it remain his, none of us are perfect at any age. If you had a drawing or a project that he made in school, would you go back and make sure all the lines were colored in the right way and it was all perfect. My 4th son is now 27, in grade school they made self portrait magnents. I was shocked and laughed so hard when it came home from school. He always wore his hair short and spiked, you could see that but when I asked my toe head son why he made himself black, he very innocently said, all they had was white crayons and people aren't white so he chose black because people are black. Today that is on my fridge and is a treasured memory that still makes me smile when I see it.

sewbizgirl...thanks for the suggestion to take photos. I hadn't laid it all out for several years and forgot the beauty of my son's fabric choices and layout. I'm now leaning toward finishing it as he designed, adding only borders and appliqued hibiscus or other jungle flowers in opposing corners to help it fit the jungle theme. I will name it "A Father's Vision Blooms". Looking at the pieces, my son had already ripped out and fixed the worst of the seams, but I have started taking the strip sets apart to straighten the seams and provide a consistent 1/4" seam allowance. Below are some pictures of my son's work with a close-ups of some problem areas. BTW, my son never asked me to finish the quilt for his daughter, it was my idea to do something with it to pass it on to his child(ren). My son had forgotten that the pieces were still sitting around in my sewing room. Anyway, thanks to everyone for all your input. It's appreciated.:wave:

Just my opionion, but finish it the way he intended it to be made. If some of the seams are too close to the edge, back them with fusible to stabilize them, but don't unsew them. I wouldn't add anything (you mentioned flowers in the corners) to the quilt except for what your son already had cut. Granted, if you don't have enough fabric to complete the quilt, try to match his fabrics as closely as you can. I always loved browns and teals! This is going to be beautiful!

I have two adult sons. Here is my honest opinion. If your son is a perfectionist, as you stated, he will want you to "straighten it out". I am afraid if you don't, the quilt will end up on a closet shelf. He will be embarrassed by his work even though he was young when he worked on it. Mom may see it is a cute but he will see it as a failure. It is still his work since he picked out the pattern and the colors. I suggest you straighten it out and finish it.

I would try to leave it as is as much as I could. Try to make it a workable quilt, but only what it takes to complete it. When you get older, it will mean an awful lot to you to look at.

Is there any way to put his bits together and finish a smaller version for the center and then add a border/s to make it the size you want? As a keepsake to pass on, I think his kids would love it.

Hi Koriana,
I had a similar experience as your son. When I was in my teens I made a log cabin quilt that did not square up. So frustrated, I put it away and it never saw the light of day from me. Many years later my mom secretly had it finished for me - squared and reassembled. This meant so much to me. I know I would not have liked it to be finished as it was originally (sounds like your son). I am now going to give it to my grandson. I hope this helps in your decision.

I'm in this camp. Fix the worst parts, and finish it. He'll love it, and so will his child.

finish it, he'll have wonderful memories of working on it

This is too simple! You asked him. He answered. Do what he said. Straighten it out. End of story. froggyintexas

I recently received a quilt top that my Mom had pieced many, many years ago. Probably one of her first. Not wanting to redo her work I did a lot of pressing and quilted "as is". Some seams were at least an inch, others not even a quarter. Many seams were turned the wrong way. Wasn't sure it would ever look good. It did!! The quilting seemed to cover the mistakes. Then I met with my brothers and sister and had a drawing for possession. I would leave it as is so that his piecing will still be there. After all he was young when he did it.

I wouldn't change a thing. I would leave his work exactly as he left it, tack it to a solid piece of fabric and frame it to hang on the wall. If you redo everything it's no longer his work, it's yours and you will lose what you are wanting to save.

don't fix too much. just get it done. as long as it lays flat. his first quilt. maybe he'll see it and start quilting again. and hope he chooses a pattern, that is easier to fix next time.

well, in the end, your gut knows best...
but here are my thoughts.
What you said sounds good to me.
Sometimes a perfectionist is really ok with someone else's work and you
are his mom and it is going to his child.
Besides, having had his first child, he needs practice in not expecting
perfection. He's going to need a lot of patience with his child.
I like the idea of his work and yours given to the new baby, but
hey...lol, i'm just a bystanding mouse ;)

You ask the question. He gave you the answer. My philosophy is if you do not want the answer don't ask the question.

Thanks everyone. This can be such a difficult decision. Beauty is not always defined by perfection and many quilts are more valuable (at least to the family) because of the imperfections and associated memories. I had the opportunity to speak with my son again this morning about the project. I told him that I'd laid out all of his work and was reminded how beautiful his color choices and design were and that I couldn't bear to cover it up with the appliqued animals. He said that he didn't think that what he'd done was enough to be worth finishing. I showed him the pictures and told him that it would made a 42" X 42" square without borders. I showed him the material I was planning to use for the border and asked him what he thought about adding hibiscus flowers in opposing corners. He said, "Mom, I know that you will make it beautiful. I trust you. Add what you like. But, Mom, even with borders, it's not big enough for me." And then he grinned impishly. I reminded him that at age twelve it was big enough and now it would be Ellie's quilt. But I think that was a hint to get to work on another quilt for him. :D Thanks again everyone and I'll post pictures of this finished top soon.

I agree-do as he asks!

You have a lot more sentimentality about the quilt than he does. He doesn't see how totally "cute" the whole idea is to show his son something he made when he was younger. He wants it fixed so it looks really decent. I would agree with the thought that if you want to keep it that badly, make another quilt for the baby and keep this one. Otherwise, do as he asks, as much as it may hurt, which is to fix it.

The quilt you made for your cute grand daughter is just beautiful!