My thoughts too! If we could only teach puplic decency again.....

I feel so bad for your friend, she wanted to show your work off to her cousin.I usually find that people like that are exceptionally unhappy. They have to find fault with everything to feel good for some odd reason! Hope she wakes up before life passes her by!

Sounds like the cousin has bigger problems than being "the quilt police". If she thinks that the import quilts are "IT" the poor girl deserves our pity! Lets just hope she wakes up.
Your friend is lucky she left early!!! I'd have sent her packing as soon as we got back from your visit. But then I don't suffer ignorance well.

this young "lady" sure needs something
I,also, am shaking my head

Sorry girls but to me she is NO lady. A rude , smart-aleck little mouthy spoiled brat is what I think she is !! I think the lady was the one that held her temper when I'd have wanted to smack her. Any way , just my opinion.

she just sounds like a little spoiled brat that has never heard the word no or you are wrong in her life. I feel sorry for any "friends" that she has, if she has any.
the person I feel sorriest for is your friend who has to appologize for her insensitive cousin

I guess all you can do is laugh. She will be unhappy forever thinking everyone else has a problem. Our son-in-law is like that.

I have read both the original topic and todays and while I understand some people do have problems you all are just too nice this girl is a witch with a b. Why is it people are not called on their crap but given an excuse for it. She should have been told along time before this to keep her nasty opinion to herself. I am sorry for your friend who feels bad for her cousins bad behavior. I am glad you shared it with us though!!

You can sure pick your friends but Family well what can you say. Ignorance is bliss, poor little girl has a lot to learn. Sorry for your friend though.

Well I guess we know who is not getting a quilt made for them.. LOL some people you just have to laugh at there behavior. Good thing she lives in another state.

Thanks for the update. I know my jaw was hanging when I was reading the first installment. What a lonely life this girl is going to have if she keeps alienating everyone around her.

WEll you did the right thing and just smile as there are so many ummm "ignorant" and high maintenance people out there who have no clue !!
Be PROUD of what you said and did ( I would of blown a gasket!!) as we all are proud of you. I am sure the friend just wants to crawl under a rock, she as well needs to be proud of continuing on a a wonderful craft that many in life have no clue about !!

OH MY GOODNESS I CANNOT BELIEVE THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE DOES'T SHE KNOW OLDER IS WISER AND NOT YOUNG AND (STUPID SORRY FOR SAYING IT.)

gee this sounds like my ex dil and her mother what's wrong with people by the way i admire you for keeping cool i could not have

I think the person has a problem and is very unhappy. I think we should pray for her, not bash her. We really don't know what she is dealing with.

I have to disagree with this statement. Destructive people are just that...destructive. And no one, regardless of how these people may be "related" to you, has to put up with some one in their life being so destructive just because they are part of the "family tree". You may think I am cold and rude too, but I had a sister that was so negative and so destructive to my marriage, that I cut off all ties to her, and we never speak anymore except through attorneys. That may seem extreme, but it was so bad, I was left with NO recourse to protect myself except legal ones. So you can pick your relatives...at least in my mind you can....you don't have to be a part of anyone's life who only seeks to ruin yours...."family" or no....imho.

the cousin sounds like she has problems

someone mentioned maybe we should pray for her. I am sending prayers up that she wakes up before it is too late and someone takes drastic measures against her. the young lady should not have to apologize for something she can't control. And you dear lady are a true lady and a friend. God Bless us all.

IMHO you handled that horrible situation with grace. Your young friend's cousin is going to have a sad, lonely life if she doesn't learn to put a filter on her mouth. It amazes me that there are people who think they know-it-all about a subject/topic they actually know nothing about.

ME too! Me too! I bet that intelligent young man had some time to REALLY think about what he would be getting into...and realized that it would not change when they were married.

So sorry she acted like that to you...I think you handled it very well.

Glad to hear your friend didn't let this unhappy cousin get in the way of the friendship. Some people sure can make life interesting on some days. I have met a few in my lifetime and I can understand why the earth's axis is on a wee tilt. Thanks for sharing, I wondered how things were going.

Someday life is going to pass this young lady by and she is going to wonder why she is alone and with few friends. I feel sorry for her because she obviously does not know about the simpler pleasures in life that can bring a person so much joy and happiness. A few weeks ago, one of the subjects we discussed were people who give away beautiful handmade items given to them as gifts--sounds like she may be 'one of those.'

I read your 1st post and I'm still reeling my jaw up off of the floor. We all put our pants on the same way, it appears she has an aggravating knot in hers. The good news is she left for Fl totally opposite direction from my neck of the woods. Whew!

I'm with you, you have to feel sad for someone so insecure they drive people away from them when what they crave is to be close.
Also, maybe the cousin (your friend) should step away too - her relative may not get it, yet - but, just because you were born into or married into a family it doesnt mean they are attached to you at the hip like a Siamese twin! We do get to choose whom we love and care for and about, many people figure they can treat you like doodoo but you have to take it cus you're related! Not true!
Also, since the relative is so "helpful" she should not be insulted if one chooses to "help her" see the light-
anyway, it is good you took your friend under your sewing needle, and are there to help her develop w/o being judgmental, if her family is like her cousin she will need you quilting support sharet

I'll say a prayer for the cousin. :-(

Sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment, and a crash course in manners and respect. Sometimes people like this need to hit rock bottom first, before they realize they have a mental problem.

we really all agree with you, but (heres the BUT, lol) 1. she wouldnt even understand why you're yelling at her, shes so shallow and self absorbed, so, 2. it will make you even madder to have wasted your breath pointing out her doodoo attitude, and 3. it gives her the attention she really wants undreneath; attention is attention in her world.
to start to change her she needs to be shunned for her badness and every little tiny nice thing she can do must be phrased - so she wants to be nicer and nicer. That is what she should have learned when she was about 10 mos old and up - she should have had that down before kindergarden. Now, she may go her whole life this way, and its sad because she's doing this to herself and doesnt even know it. We can walk away from her and tell her off, tell her to leave, but she can't walk out on herself. She may have been a really wonderful person and friend, and that is a waste of a life.
There are a lot like her roaming the world these days. sharet

I get it, it's so true, sharet

I agree with Kay! We are brainwashed into believing that it is our religious moral responsibility to be understanding and accepting of poor behavior from others, especially if it comes from somebody related to us or someone who has it as a behavior pattern in their life. This complacency on our part, or making excuses for them, is what is called "enabling." So, you are not doing this difficult person any favors! They need to learn boundaries.

Obviously there are many people who have problems with understanding where their boundaries end and another's begins. And to keep yourself both emotionally and physically safe you must stop them. Because sure as sugar, they are not going to stop themselves! If they would, we would have no rape, murder, or war! They did not start out as rapists, murderers, or warlords on day one. They were able to get away with things all along because others made excuses!

I am not comparing the cousin to a rapist, murderer, or warlord. But left unchecked by others allowing her to get away with poor behavior, is only setting her up for bigger problems in life. If you want to be kind to her, you need to let her know her behavior is not acceptable!

you deserve to quilt, uncriticized, for the rest of your days, after that encounter! your young friend sounds like a gem, though, and someone who values your friendship. i'm in agreement that this cousin may truly have a psychological problem--perhaps a borderline personality, or even a bit of the sociopath thrown in. these are often people who really, truly can't control what comes out of their mouths, and they believe that they are honestly right, all the time. i hope your friend can forgive her cousin, and balance the family relationship with safe distance!

kudos to you, and to your friend who is sensitive enough to take responsibility for her cousin, even when such things are out of one's control. i say keep her, and throw out the experience!

My Mom was fond of saying "You can think anything you like but don't just say it" and it sure saved my neck more than once. Too bad her cousin didn't know the saying.

All I can say for the young friends cuz, is that she can buy her quilts at wal-mart and wash them and see them fall apart. I have one in my shop for the proof is in the pudding so to speak. What a smart and lucky fellow to be well rid of her. Had she been my cuz I would have jerked her out by her hair and then open a can of whoop A$$ on her right in the yard, after her first commit. :evil: :twisted:

She was only trying to help me get better, because I was too old to know what I was doing


How can someone do this when they don't have the experience themselves. Unfortunately I have a niece who has this mind set and she is now 50. I don't think she will ever change.

If she had said those things to me, I would have bitten through my tongue trying to hold my tongue & then let her have it verbally (I hope) & then asked her to leave. You have much more restraint than I do.

Can you imagine this person at a bridal shower. Everyone would probably be wanting to pick up their gifts to her and leaving. What a wise fellow to break off his engagement to her. Can you imagine how unhappy he would have been! My name for someone like her is she's a DB and that doesn't mean 'Dumb Bunny'! Only thing I can say is that someone like her certainly makes the rest of us look really, really good.

I know plenty of Aspie, Autistic people. They don't act like donkeys hinds ends. There is a difference between bluntness and lack of social filters(and they will tell you btw) and a sanctimonious know it all, who feels the need to dress others down.

There is a time and a place, to dress others down. It is a fine art, that should be used but used when you don't have other resorts. It should not be used when you go to another crafters home to see their wares. If you don't like it, don't buy it. Art, Crafts are very subjective.

Sadly those gals somehow find men who tolerate their behavior and then they are on "BRIDEZILLA". It really makes you wonder doesn't it. How in the world they have survived this long.

I can imagine your friend must have been mortified. I can't blame her. If I had a cousin like that, I'd be wishing for a hole in the earth to swallow me!! You are a wonderful example of gracious tolerance - I would love to have a friend like you!!! :thumbup:

OH, my.

Interesting you said that because I was thinking the same thing. Definitely no filter between her mind and her mouth.