help me see this from another perspective, please
 

OK, here's the story, the longer version. I send large charity quilts to an organization in TN. I promised one in October and it took forever for me to get to the USPS. So, to "apologize" I whipped up a second quilt and sent both on. IMHO, they were really pretty, well-made and imbued with love quilts. I never heard back from the woman about whether they were received. So I had to email her. they were received and she apologized for forgetting to email me. Am I viewing this wrongly? I was upset that I took the time to get her the quilts and send them which wasn't totally cheap and she "forgot"? I know and keep trying to remind myself the purpose is not for the thanks but for the gifting. am I wrong to be upset? And,what should I do? I liked that the quilts were going to adults and not children (though I do gift my local LINUS as well) but I really don't want to send anymore to this organization. It is not the first time I've had to follow up about the quilts arriving.

Everyone will no doubt tell you the joy is in the giving
Not I
Say a mental goodbye and find a better organization.

I can understand how you feel. In the future why don't you add Delivery Confirmation to your package so you know that it was delivered. Or, you can place a note in the box attached to the quilts thats asks the recipient to email you once they have received the quilts.

You shouldn't have to remind them to acknowledge having received your quilts...find a new charity to donate your quilts...

Or, better yet, how about a stamped and addressed postcard that she can just stick in the mail? That way she wouldn't have to go to her computer and email you. She can just toss the postcard in the outgoing mail.

The very basic is to acknowledge they received the quilts. We all forget. I often tell myself that I will reply tomorrow and then get involved with other things. However, hand made quilts are another thing. There is considerable value and time. I was involved in a situation recently when we wanted an organization to be thanked for a donation and the receiptant said to send a stamped self addressed envelop and they would acknowledge the gift. Needless to say they won't get anything else. Suggestions to provide confirmation thru PO is a good one.

oooh, great idea.

Some different perspectives.....well, I don't know who the organization is but it could be that they are just slammed with work right now and it just isn't practical for them to stop and email every person that sends in a donation. Charity groups usually aren't exactly overstaffed, you know?

Also you commented that you were upset that you took the time to get to the post office and get them there. Is that not part of what you committed to do back in October? You were slow in meeting your commitment so maybe cut them some slack that they may have been running slow in responses?

Also consider if you truly just wanted to know if they arrived or if you really wanted some gratitude. Of if you wanted a formal thank you just as a matter of etiquette. There is no "wrong" answer.

Not saying I agree with any of the above necessarily but you asked from some different perspectives. I would recommend just trying to accept that they are probably over worked and if they have a lot of donations coming in right now I don't it should be a mark against them that they aren't sending out emails to every person who donates when something is received. And remember that no matter what, you are helping someone in need, gifting someone in need. Minor foibles in the organization don't change your good acts.

You put so much into those quilts, you shouldn't have to send a stamped self addressed envelope to them. They should have some class and write a thank you note right away. You can do delivery confirmation, but that doesn't tell you that they appreciate the gifts. They should tell you themselves. A handmade (machine sewed included) quilt deserves recognition immediately. I've had to call people and ask them if they have received their quilts, just to get a thank you or a "I love it" from them. Times have changed. We know the value of our quilts. It seems that other people should know the value of our quilts. One look at them and they have to know we put ourselves into them. I would send my quilts elsewhere, where they are appreciated immediately.

Paulina, I wasn't upset that I had to go to the Post Office. I was upset at me that it took me so long! So I added a second quilt as an apology. My concern is that the quilts might have been lost. I don't need kudos about wonderful quilts, gorgeous work, yada yada. I wanted only to know the quilts arrived safely. Gratitude was not what I was seeking. I truly believe that I must give back because my life is good. So my way of giving gratitude is to share and pass on. I was worried that I hadn't heard from her and the box was lost. I had sent them with tracking, but by the time I realized I had not heard, I was on vacation in Spain visiting my daughter and didn't have access to the tracking numbers.

I totally agree with you. Again, I was just playing devil's advocate offering other perspectives.

Having spent my whole working life in non-profits, I agree with everything paulina said, and add one more thing to consider. Funding has been drastically reduced to almost all charity organizations nationwide and perhaps this one has had to lay off staff. Maybe they no longer have the person who was responsible for donation acknowledgement and haven't fully adapted to fill that void yet.

Since you did send the package with tracking info and then failed to actually use that info to follow up as soon as it was apparent they should have been received, you have only yourself to blame for any worry you went through. Yes, the organization should say 'thank you' for your donation (and in fact should be sending written receipts for all donations for the donors tax returns), that's NPO 101, but their given reason is no less flakey than the one you gave for not meeting the promised deadline. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-forum/2c.gif

I honestly forget to do that all the time... right now I just chalk it up to pregnancy brain! I know everyone likes to know when you get their stuff but sometimes things get in the way and time doesn't allow you to and then you forget. I know I get stuff for the Quilt guild all the time and do that.

I would find a new charity. I recently heard of someone making quilts for elderly people in homes. A lot of them rarely have anyone to visit and these quilts really remind them of home and love.

If it is a worthwhile charity that you have enjoyed making quilts for, I say continue. You don't
want to quit donating quilts because 1 person dropped the ball in responding.

I understand completely. Several years ago I donated several baby quilts, 8 zippered baby sleepers (with cute appliques), and a quilted baby bunting. I enclosed a note that said I could make the sleepers in different sizes, if they would let me know what sizes were most needed. When I didn't hear anything back, I wrote a letter asking if the packages had been received, and enclosed a self-addressed stamped envelope. Still didn't get a response.

I wasn't looking for an outpouring of gratitude, but if they had simply written thanks, we received the boxes, I would still be sewing for them. As it was, I found another charity. It's just human nature to need some acknowledgment.

Well, the most important thing here is that there are those who recieve these quilts that probably have little or nothing and their gratitude to you for making them a quilt is great, though you can't hear or see their joy. So for that alone, please do not give up doing this wonderful thing. Please do as qbquilts and pinkberrykay have suggested and slip a self addressed and stamped postcard of confirmation of the receipt of the quilts into the package so that all that needs to be done is for them to slip the card into the outgoing mail. This is the best idea and will solve the problem and everyone will be happy. You are happy while making the quilts and they who receive them will be happy that you did make them!!!
Let's not forget that the real reason for all of this is that people are enjoying your work and though it is important to know if they received them, the most important thing is you have made so many unfortunate people happy. Don't stop for the sake of a confirmation. Just make the confirmation easy.

I have a question. When an organization recieves a quilt don't they have to keep a record of recieving them? Do they record who sent them? Can a computer on its own be programed to send out a notice of recipt? Like when you order something on line you get an e-mail saying your order has been recieved? I dom't know a lot about the computer but it seams they can do anything but tap dance.

I also make charity quilts and when I drop them off, they ask me to fill out paperwork for basic address info and what it was that I donated. In a couple weeks, I receive a form letter thanking me for the donation. The last time I dropped off 4 baby quilts I told them that I really didn't need the acknowledgment, just seeing the happiness in their faces was enough for me. I know that this probably isn't enough for most of you, but you have to remember just how busy these organizations can get. I've seen these wonderful volunteers sorting through a mountain of boxes of donated toys/games/blankets/quilts and wished I lived closer so that I could donate some of my time. For them to take the time to write thank-you's to each person is asking quite a bit. You have to remember why you are donating --- to provide quilts for children/adults/elderly who need them.

nycquilter, find another charity. That's what I did. I head up a large group of women that truly give from their hearts. We all make our own personal sacrificies to do this. We hand deliver these, but when told in a less than kindly tone to just put it on the floor out of their way, was enough for me. It was clear they receive waaaay to many donations to care on any level any more. I feel responceable to account to these very giving women. I have teenagers, I know how to pick my battles. I found us new charities. All is now good!

Won't apologize for my answer but if it were me, I would find an organization much closer to home. Especially locally. As in, driving to deliver to a local hospital or a shelter. Humane Societies are forever grateful. When you get burned emotionally, you learn not to touch...

Well I agree here. find another place who will at least say thanks which is what you deserve.

You are so right Gramie bj, but I have to tell you my laptop can also tap dance, LOL

Sounds like the organization needs some reorganizing. They should have emailed or sent you a note that your quilts were received.

Maybe we have a post office employee on the board to verify - but the PO in my town told me that they delivery confirmation only confirms that the package was received at the recipient's PO, not delivered to the recipient. Does anybody know if this is true?

Cathy

Are there no local organizations that need your quilts? That way you'd not have to mail them.

I agree that a thank you should have been extended.

I can't speak for the organization in question, but from an accounting standpoint, yes, they have to keep records of in-kind donations (though some don't) and, no, they do not have to keep track of names (though many do). They do, however, have to provide a written receipt to the donor, if asked, so that the donation can be claimed on their taxes. As for an auto-reply, that would only work if your donation went through the computer like an online order does...not possible for a mailed quilt.

When I worked for the PO confirmation was when it was delivered to the address/addressee (with or without signature depending on what level of service was paid for). This, of course, works better when it is going to a private residence, if it is a business it is usually part of a large delivery, can be in bins or bags ... unless it needs a signature, and then the Mail Person should have those separated and be able to match each signature slip with the correct package.

You're not really asking for a "thank you" you're asking for acknowledgement that a package was received. Should be a given in an organization working from donations.

I used to send quilts to an organization that gave quilts to children. Until they put out a picture asking for volunteers to get the quilts to the kids and showed a picture of a storeroom with HUNDREDS of quilts. Wow. I work two jobs and felt so good making those quilts. Did not expect them to sit in a storeroom. (I don't live close enough to have helped with distribution.) Figured that charity had done will with letting people know the need and had many people sewing for them. I'm now making small quilts for a local family who are just getting started in foster care. My goal is to keep them supplied with a couple of quilts so that each child gets one to keep - and gets to choose which one they want - even if it's just "this one" or "that one"! We want to give - we each just need to find the right fit for the giving.

I'd be looking for the head cheese and asking why you can't at least get a note that your gift had arrived. And it's not even about getting "thanks". You need to know if the gift arrived in one piece.

If she were dealing with a couple potholders, I'd say the group being too busy to acknowledge the gift might float. But, two quilts deserve some time.

Thank you everyone. I will see how I feel in the future about sending to this woman again. Thank you all for your replies. It did help.

They may have just gotten behind but I like to know my quilts are received, even when I participate in a swap. With that said I would look for a place closer to home to make quilts for. Mailing quilts costs so much today that the postage money would be better spent on quilting supplies to make more charity quilts. This year I'm only making quilts for my Guild's Outreach Program for local people in need.

To change the subject a little. I am still waiting for a Thank You for a wedding gift I mailed 2 yrs ago and gave one in person in Nov. One year I mailed one for a June wedding and got a thank you in Dec. I know brides are busy getting ready for a wedding or enjoying life as married but if I took the time to buy and mail a gift I EXPECT a thank you. Do I call family and ask "Did you get my gift"? They seem to have time to go scan in gift registries.

i think this is a great suggestion if this is important to you... i knit helmet liners for a long time and told them with each box, not to bother responding as i did not want them to take money to mail me something or time to email me something... these organizations are all run by volunteers, taking time from their families and for their own donor activities to do what needs to be done... i would rather they use that 5 minutes in some other way and certainly that 44 cents is better spent in mailing things on to the recipients. just do the postcard and then you will know and she will not be using volunteer funds to mail something to you.

the good news is that the brides DO HAVE one year to get all their thank yous done.... and I have finally given up on young people sending thank yous or even calling or emailing...but let's face it...we didn't teach them that or they would know...

There are a lot of organizations that are that bad..or worse...about letting you know things arrived safely. I'm still waiting to hear if my quilts for Japan got there! (as well as a couple of other places...I also asked for some extra labels from Quilts for Kids and no one bothered to answer, so guess what? I found another place to give back to!) I realize that those organizations are often short-handed, but the least they could do is email you an answer to your question...and no, I'm not looking for kudos either, just confirmation that things got where they were supposed to be! I too am one of those blessed and a believer in giving back...but it sure is difficult sometimes!

Any charitable group should make it a firm practice to send thank you's promptly. At our church it often seems that only those who are prominent get thank you's and I frankly think it takes away from the generosity of others who are not so involved. You might want to take a little time away from the situation and then write a note telling them about the importance of saying thank you. Don't send it off right away, but let it sit a while. Look at it again to be sure it's not too snarky and adjust it if you must. Or if you do want to be snarky, send them a package of thank you notes and tell them they must have run out! Don't let the rudeness of others muddy your kind heart.

You were well within your boundaries for being upset, not knowing if those quilts had arrived or not. Two quilts constitutes quite an outlay of not only money, but precious time, which is sometimes harder to come by. I would not send anything to this organization again. Just my humble opinion.