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-   -   Help! Need Motivation Quickly! (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/help-need-motivation-quickly-t83808.html)

Gwyn 12-19-2010 07:53 AM

Have your daughter and grandchildren come over for cookies and quilting. Let t hem help you tie it or even big stitch it with yarn. It is okay to just get it done. If you have the money, send it to a quilter. Take a picture first in case it doesn't get back for Christmas. That way you have something to wrap up and let him open.

dunster 12-19-2010 08:01 AM

Make the quilt, because it's really for your daughter. But talk to her privately about the problem and how it's affecting the children. This is child abuse, and someone should protect the children.

Willa 12-19-2010 08:34 AM

You did say your daughter asked for it so finish it only for her. Have you tried pulling your sil aside to let him know that his language would be more appreciated if he left it in the toilet where it belongs? Let him know if he wants to talk that way at work you can't hear it there but around you and your family he needs to grow up and learn some control. Good luck!

greensleeves 12-19-2010 10:51 AM

I'm sorry you are having difficulty finishing the quilt--you are doing it for your daughter and not your son-in-law. With that said, he apparently is an abuser and since he is a know-it-all will unlikely go for counseling but your daughter and grandchildren should get help in dealing with the verbal abuse before it affects them permanently. I try to stay out of anyone's personal life but it angers me greatly to hear of this blatant abuse.

Damsel in DisDress 12-19-2010 08:37 PM

Praise God and Pray for him while you finish this beautiful quilt! You'll feel great when this is done! God Bless You!

tjradj 12-19-2010 08:54 PM

While you're quilting, sing at the top of your voice,
"I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair" from Oklahoma!
Or try, "These boots were made for walking, they'll walk right over you" or something of that nature.
Music makes the work go faster right? So pick the right music and stitch away!
Seriously, I agree with the posters that this is for your daughter more than for him, so think about her and the kids while stitching it. They'll cuddle under it too.

shawnemily 12-19-2010 09:14 PM

I like the idea of having your daughter and grandkids come over and tying it. Look at the quality time with them as your special Christmas present.

anniec55 12-19-2010 09:50 PM

Your daughter is sooooo lucky to have you as her mom!!! You have some GREAT suggestions provided here to help you I hope, but I want to tell you Thank You for being there for your daughter and GK's, you will never know how important that is to them. My mom passed away this year and she saw me through so many things in life and sometimes was the most help when so probably wasn't aware of my need but she was always there, even through a marriage where she despised (though I didn't know that until years later) my ex-husband..... I miss her more than I can explain, there isn't a day that has gone by that I don't think of her or "talk" to her or thank the Good Lord for letting me be so blessed by having her as my mom. You may just be your daughters saving grace and strength! I thank you for being there and being such a friend. May you have the blessings of the season and the New Year!

mynani 12-20-2010 05:14 AM

I have to go against most of the board and agree with having someone else finish the quilt. Your daug. and grands deserve so much better than him. Spend your time making them quilts filled love. If he ever learns how to treat them you can make him one also filled with love. We too often condone BAD behavior by being accepting and silently offering up prayers. I believe Jesus wanted some action put into our words. Oh well I will also pray for your family........... I've been there, on both sides.

quiltmom04 12-20-2010 05:17 AM


Originally Posted by PatriceJ
there are many ways to approach the problem. here are two:

1. decide that you are really making the quilt as a gift to your daughter. it will make her happy, so you can focus on that.

2. decide that you have no obligation to give the creep so much as the time of day, let alone a quilt. box up the top, back, batting, and material for binding. give that to your daughter so she can have somebody else finish it for him. you will have met her halfway.

ooooh! ooooh! #3

3. take your sweet time getting it done. don't press or stress yourself trying to make that happen by the 25th of this year. maybe by the time you get it done he'll have wised up and changed his ways. ;-)

I agree with #1. This gift is for your daughter, and what she decides to do with it is up to her. SHE will be the one who is pleased with your effort, and SHE will be the one who knows how much work you did, so just go ahead - forget him and finish it. But for future reference, don't make him anything again if it upsets you so.


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