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teacherbailey 12-19-2010 04:32 AM

My daughter requested a particular quilt for her hubby for Christmas....it is a replica of an old dot-matrix video game screen from the '80's, with characters, etc. It is done in 64 1" wide (finished) strips, each of which has to be pieced perfectly so the design all works when it's done. It was truly a pain in the posterior to make!

Here's the problem. The top is made. I have a week left to finish it and I have to....I promised. Yet I cannot stand this man who thinks he knows everything and curses often, screaming the words at his 7 and 5 year olds (My DGS's) constantly and in front of me.

I need some words of wisdom and encouragement to get me going....please? The backing and batting are ready for layering but I just stare at them and can't do it.... HELP!!!!

mom-6 12-19-2010 04:44 AM

I am also working on a quilt for a "not favorite" family member and have a week to finish the quilting and binding.

I've been praying for her and my attitude as I go and it has helped. However I still have issues witrh picking it up and finishing it...haven't touched it in nearly a week and if I don't get busy on it, it won't get done.

I'm hand quilting and lack 3 short diagonals on three corners and about 15 or so individual blocks that are echoed and X'd.

Best wishes on getting yours done. You'll feel better when it's finished! I know I will when mine's done.

And I'll be praying for you and your SIL.

dsb38327 12-19-2010 04:49 AM

? Maybe draw devil faces on the wrong side of your backing ? As you are pinning you can let your imagination go wild!!!!!!!!!!!
I vote the parents get to choose the spouse. :)

patricej 12-19-2010 05:10 AM

there are many ways to approach the problem. here are two:

1. decide that you are really making the quilt as a gift to your daughter. it will make her happy, so you can focus on that.

2. decide that you have no obligation to give the creep so much as the time of day, let alone a quilt. box up the top, back, batting, and material for binding. give that to your daughter so she can have somebody else finish it for him. you will have met her halfway.

ooooh! ooooh! #3

3. take your sweet time getting it done. don't press or stress yourself trying to make that happen by the 25th of this year. maybe by the time you get it done he'll have wised up and changed his ways. ;-)

Mattee 12-19-2010 06:13 AM

Look at it as spreading the love. It also might improve your relationship, which might make it easier to gently suggest parenting strategies, too. (I do mean GENTLY, as parenting suggestions can easily offend).

leatheflea 12-19-2010 06:33 AM

I want to applaud you for making a quilt for someone that isnt quilt worthy. What angel you are. Your daughter and grandbabies are so lucky to have you. Maybe you could imagine that for every stitch that goes in and out of that quilt your sewing his mouth shut to profanity and negativity towards your grandbabies. Kill him with kindness, set an example to your grandbabies, we're all tempted to fall into his negativity, but kindness always wins.

CoriAmD 12-19-2010 07:18 AM


Originally Posted by leatheflea
I want to applaud you for making a quilt for someone that isnt quilt worthy. What angel you are. Your daughter and grandbabies are so lucky to have you. Maybe you could imagine that for every stitch that goes in and out of that quilt your sewing his mouth shut to profanity and negativity towards your grandbabies. Kill him with kindness, set an example to your grandbabies, we're all tempted to fall into his negativity, but kindness always wins.

I love this suggestion! :)

hazeljane 12-19-2010 07:45 AM


Originally Posted by leatheflea
I want to applaud you for making a quilt for someone that isnt quilt worthy. What angel you are. Your daughter and grandbabies are so lucky to have you. Maybe you could imagine that for every stitch that goes in and out of that quilt your sewing his mouth shut to profanity and negativity towards your grandbabies. Kill him with kindness, set an example to your grandbabies, we're all tempted to fall into his negativity, but kindness always wins.

Me too. I was going to say that you should pray a little with every stitch. i sometimes look at my quilts as living prayers, designed to hold my loved ones when i cannot. I have made a few quilts for my husband's sons, one of whom was a total jackass to me for a long time. I prayed for patience, and more importantly, I prayed for his stress levels to be reduced. I think it shocked him that I made him a beautiful quilt. And it did improve our relationship.

Pray for him, and your grandchildren, in whatever way you choose to pray. (For me, often it's just an intent and good thoughts). That he realizes what his actions do to his children, etc. Not angrily, but as if you wish for his own sake, that he realize his ways are hurtful.

Sounds a little "woo-woo" I know, but I feel like it helps ME become a better person when I am able to let go of anger and dislike, and if he's your grandsons' dad- he is not going anywhere.

Be well.

Maggie

woody1229 12-19-2010 07:48 AM

Just keep it in your heart and mind that you're doing it for your daughter, and that making the crappy SIL happy will provide her with a few moments of peace in her fractious home.

joan_quilts 12-19-2010 07:50 AM

I put out a swear jar. Everytime someone cusses in my house, I pass them the jar! I don't like profanity, especially when being said to kids! GRRRRR!

I think I would write a Bible verse inside the backing and pray the Lord put a lock on his lips! I have prayed that before, for myself even, and it works! LOL

Good luck!


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