I really feel that it is time to educate the people who receive the gift. Some people would walk on a Monte but not after they were educated to its value. I don't give a quilt without instructions. I have a 25 year old granddaughter and I have a quilt made for her and ask her mother if she was ready to take care of it. She said no so it is still waiting for her to mature. If you give a diamond you do not expect it to be in the back yard. The value of the gift is determined by the giver. Please make this value clear when giving the gift. This is a casual throw arould quilt or this is one I hope your grandchildren will love as much as I loved making it for you. There is value in your time and effort. Please sit down with your daughter and let her see what you wanted for the quilt you made and give her a casual one for throwing around. Children need both. Hope this is not to strong but I make both quick and easy and hard and time consuming. They will be treated difirently and I expect that and want my grandchildren to know I valued them and they are to value me as well. Gail

That sounds helpful for everyone, it won't hurt her at all to learn just how wonderful a gift she's getting or how to take responsibility for looking after it! She'll grow in the process, and so will the quilter, by identifying and stating her values and expectations for treatment of a precious gift.

i agree with deema

Tragic though the gifts outcome was for you that day... the more tragic is that it has caused you to cease from giving to not only others but yourself. Quilting is a joy from the heart, its own special gift. It is one I keep with me everytime I make one, no matter the journey it takes when it leaves my hands. I hope you find that gift , open it up... and rejoice in its part in you. It truly keeps growing.

AMEN!! I think we've all been trying to say this but you've said it best and beautifully!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I've had this experience but this puts it in perspective!!

Sandra, this says it all.

This topic has been discussed numerous times. I don't understand many of the views given. I have always believed that love isn't love unless you give it away. To be so upset when you find your gift wasn't used as YOU desired only says you want control over it and it truly was not a gift of love for whomever. Yes we spend many hours laboring over making a quilt for someone but that doesn't mean to me that I have a right to judge how it has been used or abused. That's on the person who received it and doesnt' bother me at all. I know in my heart that anything I might do for another person is because I wanted to and there was nothing expected in return. When you expect something in return (as in how they may use it) you are not giving out of love....you are not giving a gift....you are taking your own joy away from yourself. So with all the expections some people have in giving a quilt I feel they would be better served to make them only for themselves as the conditions they expect do not serve any purpose but self gratification/validation and for me the joy is in the journey from start to finish and to whomever I gave it to regardless of how it is used. Remember love isn't love unless you truly give it away without any conditions.

Well said!

I agree - once any gift leaves my house for someone else, it is no longer any of my business what they do with it. When I sent a granddaughter money for graduation, her mother wanted to 'control' it. I told my granddaughter it was no longer mine - it was totally hers to do whatever she wanted with it - buy shoes, pay debts, even flush it down the toilet, if that was her desired (though I didn't want to hear about it if she did). I hope her mother isn't 'controling' it, but it is no longer my responsibility.

here is something I learned a long time ago.

There was a knock on the door, FEAR got up to open the door, and FAITH answered, fear is the opposite of faith, take action, no matter how fearful you are, when you do what you fear, faith takes action. and just a few years ago, the favorite Joyce Meyers said the same thing, or not in those words, so take action