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-   -   How can I overcome my fear? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/how-can-i-overcome-my-fear-t82491.html)

JuneD 12-13-2010 04:55 AM

You know, a 17 year old may not appreciate the work that went into making the quilt, but I hate to say it, her mother or father should have. Especially if it was given to her by her grandmother. I am sorry for being so blunt, that's just my opinion.

I can understand your reluctance in making another quilt, but there is someone out there that would LOVE a handmade gift. (especially me!!!!! :-)

ptquilts 12-13-2010 04:56 AM

How about having a little conversation with GS's GF, just tell her about GD's quilt and how it made you feel. Just work it into a conversation somehow. If she seems shocked and says, I would never do a thing like that, you may be good to go.

Murphy 12-13-2010 05:15 AM


Originally Posted by deema
I keep it firmly in my mind that once it is given, it is no longer mine, and the recipient has the right to do with it what they choose - even mis-treat it :( . With that said, I only make quilts for those I know will appreciate it...my mother in law cried tears of happiness when presented with her Christmas gift quilt this year (we celebrated early). I do not want any given quilt to be "saved" for special occasions...I want them used and loved "to death". Mistreatment does hurt my quilter's soul, but love and use to the very last thread warms it.

Amen to this. I also give it which means give it away. Well said Deema.

cjomomma 12-13-2010 05:32 AM

It's time to toughen up here!! If you are making quilts to give away then you nolonger have the right to say what happens to it once it is given. If you are making quilts and keeping them then were is the fun. Frankly not everybody appreciates what goes into the making of a quilt and they don't have too, also it's not our job to educate them. When it comes to gifting a quilt you need to gift and forget. Once it is out of yours hands you nolonger have the right to say what happens to it.

sewingladydi 12-13-2010 05:40 AM

Make some smaller charity quilts for Project Linus or QFK.

Then imagine the comfort it will give a small child who is ill. That should help comfort your heart

SuziC 12-13-2010 06:10 AM

Don't stop giving. Our quilts mean a lot to us but once they are given, they are no longer ours. Give the gift of a quilt with love and then let go and make another one. I am sure the baby quilts i donate are dragged around and spit up on, but that's okay. I gave them from the heart and that's all that matters.

clem55 12-13-2010 06:14 AM

I am guilty !! when I was 20 years old, we had a quilt that was made for my husband by his grandmother, and a down comforter also that came from her. We did put the quilt on the twin bed, but the comforter was a very ugly green so we had it put back in a closet. Well, winter came, and it was to be very cold, and husband took the quilt and comforter and tossed them on the hood of the car, hoping that would let the car start in the morning. Then it was just left laying on the garage floor for the rest of the winter. I should have been smarter and stopped him from doing that, but honestly, at the time, I figured it was something his gramndma made for him, he could do what he wanted with it. Had it been from MY grandma, I would not have allowed that to be done. Years later I realized what went into a quilt, and the down comforter could have been recovered, but at 20, it didn't really mean much to me or hubby. NOW it would mean the world to have that quilt!! Yes, you give something, and it is theirs to do as they want, but, if your GD did this, and the parents were there and didn't stop it, then I would have to say something to her. She is family!! I said something to my daughter when she used the very first one I made, for her dog to sleep on. It was then washed and put on a quilt rack. She didn't realize either at 20, but she does now! Personally, I would never make a quilt for someone not of my family, maybe a wallhanging size, but I sure wouldn't go overboard. I made my MIL a very pretty pink, blue, white quilt to use in her guest room with white wicker furniture. She had admired others I made using those colors and professed to love to have something like that. was on the bed about two months and then her daughter gave her a store bought patchwork ( 6 inch scrappy), and it was used instead. She "said" she didn't want to ruin mine, and didn't want to hurt her "daughters" feeling! Learned my lesson with that!!

Mattee 12-13-2010 06:51 AM

Gifts should only be given out of the goodness of our hearts, because we want to do something nice for someone else. When we have expectations about the use or appreciation of those gifts, we're gifting for ourselves, not for others. If you want to only gift things to people who will use and appreciate them the way you want them to, I am sure there are many nice people on this board who will be glad to give you their addresses. Otherwise, take joy just in the giving, and forget the rest!

sunnycat 12-13-2010 07:23 AM

I can see both sides. I have been the recipient of a few handmade gifts. I'm sure it seems I didn't appreciate it, but honestly, it just wasn't my style or anything I needed. Just because I make quilts, does not mean everyone around me wants one, kwim?

grammalyn 12-13-2010 07:26 AM

I'm a grandmother, and I wouldn't hesitate to speak up to one of my grandsons if they treated one of my quilts that way. It sounds like she may never have known how much that hurt you--she (and her parents) need to know. It's not that you are asking for an apology, just letting them know how you feel. Don't give up on giving quilts as gifts, but maybe talk to the person ahead of time to make sure they really want one.


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