I agree 100%.

I'm going to open up a can of worms with an example. My church has a quilting group that is mostly quite elderly. They only tie quilts (maybe 6-8 inches apart) and use donated fabrics. For the last few years they have made quilts for the graduating high school seniors. When my son got his, it wasn't bad. It had a bit of a pattern, and was appropriate for a young man. He used it happily to wrap up in watching TV. When my daughter graduated (one year later), all the graduates got random/scrappy quilts made of widely varying fabrics (knits, wovens of different weights), no pattern, absolutely just 4" squares sewn together with a backing of very thin fleece (no batting). The quilt wasn't bound, just serged with a gray thread. I love scrappy, but this is truly a dreadful quilt. It was also quite small, not big enough to use on a sofa. My daughter thanked the group for the quilt, but it ended up as a cat bed. I finally rescued it to leave in my car trunk, something I had recommended to my daughter.

I appreciate the elderly women who put together 4 quilts for the graduates, but did they ever even think of what might be useful/loved by the recipients? To give a gift that was thrown together does not leave the recipient thinking they are valued. It didn't help that the leader of the quilt group told the recipients (in front of the entire church!) that the group didn't have much time so they had thrown these together (really, a direct quote!). Oh well, rant off. At least I was proud of my daughter that she didn't react negatively in church and that she thanked them kindly.

Pam

You took the words from my mouth. I have so many quilts that I got at sales somewhere. Some are well loved and others like new but discarded. I love them all and do as you do with the ones that are well loved, the kids all love the bears or dolls made from them. Some of the quilts are not in colors I like but I love them anyway. Someone went all out to make them for someone, so they get the love they deserve from me.;)

I would say thank you and give a comment about what I did like about it. I would also mention that I enjoy home made gifts. I would then find some where to use it especially if people would see it used or I would tell them how it was used.

I say do what your heart tells you your DGM would have done.

Your Daddy was right. The most touching gift I received this Christmas was a bottle of Zest body wash. It will totally dry my skin out, but the person who gave that to me really couldn't afford to buy even that bottle of soap. It was the most loving gift I've received in a long time. When receiving a gift, I always try to focus on being grateful, as opposed to "what's in it for me."

Thank you so much for your very thoughtful gift. I will treasure it! I can tell you have spent a lot of time on this.:)

I would be delighted. Even if I didn't like it and I would use it.

I agree with valleyquiltermo, but if I thought my DGM would like how she would have finished the quilt, I would bite the bullet and redo it with careful hands and a heart full of TLC. How blessed you were to not only have a quilt from your DGM but to have known her as well. I never knew either of mine...

thanks for asking this question. I've really enjoyed reading the responses. I too would appreciate the gift of time and love and would use the quilt some way. My home is all unmatched, eclectic so almost anything will fit with my "decor" :>) and I like it like that.

Seems to me, if someone cared enough to make me a quilt, I should be able to look at it and feel the love that went into it. Even if it wasn't my "colors" or not my "style", the giver thought enough of me to make it for me. If it wasn't my favorite to look at, I would still use it underneath one that I liked better just so that I would think of that person.

I have received some truly ugly double knit quilts from my mom. But you know what...they are warm and really can't be destroyed! These are the ones that it's okay to make tents in the front room with or pallets on the floor for sleep overs - after 25+ years of abuse these quilts are still drug out of the closet and used for the grand daughters when they sleep over (again pallets on the floor). One of the other double knit quilts is stapled (yes I know..stapled) over a patio door that is never used and has drapes over the front of it. It provides insulation from the cold but isn't a true blockage if we had to use the door.

I guess I've never met a quilt that is so ugly it wasn't loved in some manner. The person that made the quilt made it for a reason -- whether it was for warmth or for beauty but it was made to be used and use it I will.

I have one quilt that is out of wool...itchy scratchy drab wool. But that sucker gets put into the a/c air return vent every winter and when I say "go get the vent quilt" there is no question which one to bring.

I never expect to receive a "pretty" quilt from anyone but I am always grateful for a "pretty pleased you thought of me" quilt.

Years ago, my mom made a quilt top for me. She did not have the money to have it hand quilted and she told me she would like to give the top to me if I would pay to have it quilted. Site unseen, I paid to have it hand quilted and she finished it. It was hand embroidered quilt squares and then pieced into a king size quilt. It did not match anything in my home. For years, it stayed in a bag in the top of a spare bedroom closet. About 10 years after she passed away, I was cleaning out the closet and came across the bag in the top. I actually had forgotten she had made it. I cannot tell you how beautiful it looked to me that day. I had started quilting by then and I realized how much work she had put into the quilt. I think it also was the sentimental part of it that she was no longer here.

Sometimes if the quilt is not exactly what we would have chosen ourselves, it takes a little time to realize the value and preciousness of having the quilt gift. When I give a quilt, if the person did not look really happy to have received it, I would probably tell them "If you don't like it, give it back to me and we can choose something else for you." I have never had anyone not gush over a quilt I have made for them and I am not that great a quilter. I have had two people to tear up when I gave them a quilt. However, I don't give a quilt to anyone who has not admired my quilts and acted like they really wanted a quilt of their own...the exception, baby quilts. Just my nickels worth on the subject.

Any quilt can be used to make palletts on the floor for kids when they have a sleep over (they won't care what it looks like)
**OR*** it can be used on a bed UNDER another blanket or comforter
***OR*** put in the trunk of your car (especially in the winter )in case your car breaks down, or for when ever you might need to stay warm in the car
***OR***use it at a picnic, park, sport game to sit on

Just a few ideas!

First of all anyone who gave me a quilt would know that it would be used as a summer, autum or winter throw or cover. Given an ugly quilt, which would be neutral tones, I have a guest bedroom to put it on. I always say thank you, and mean it. You never know if in the winter a furnace might fail and all the quilts will keep anyone warm.

I am so glad someone asked this question. It was truely refreshing to "hear" all the different responces. Especially since my daughter & I just finished 3 quilts to give away for Christmas & I recently gave away a baby quilt. I personally LOVE all quilts( & believe me my mom made some"test" quilts that were TRUELY UGLY! they are car quilts) I have also "picked up" quilts at garage sales & auctions & my husband gave me the evil "what are you thinking" look, & I have used & loved some of them & some I have cut up for a new use. BUT, having said all that, I also have a quilt my mother made for me for my wedding present, from fabric I purchased, that I absolutely loved, in a pattern that I chose, because my mother had made 6 butterfly quilts for all my brothers & sister when they got married, & I told her if I had to see another butterfly quilt, I would puke! I cherish my quilt, & it rarely hits the bed. It usually hangs on a quilt hanger above my bed instead, but it is one of my most prized posesions. I also love a quilt that she made from wool scraps & drapery linning, not so much for its beauty but because it has seen me through soccer & football games, hunting deer with my husband, power outages, & many other "cold" times. I think a gift does not ALWAYS have to be used for its original purpose to be appreciated, & sometimes it has to be "passed on" or even "remade" to find the right person to appreciate it.

Sounds like it would be a good idea to get the info. on what colors the person would like and maybe even an idea about design.

I solved the problem this year. I have given all my grandchildren quilts. I let them choose the colors, if they want, they could also choose the pattern. But they usually trust me to do that. But this year, I decided to make quilts in the name of each family member and then donate them to charity. I took a picture of each quilt, printed it on the front of a blank card, inside I told them where it was donated to, and also printed on the top part of the card a little bit about the organization and its goals. My family are all very lucky that they don't need anything, so they were thrilled with this gesture. It solved lots of problems in every direction. I plan to do this next year too. In return, my daughter donated money to my favorite animal shelter in my name.

We've all received gifts of all kinds that just weren't our thing but I take them with a smile and some kind words and am surprised that many times I've found a use for them.

I would never make a large quilt for someone with first thinking about their colors, style of decorating, etc. as it's too time consuming as well expensive. Some people just don't think a gift is worthwhile unless they know how much it cost and with quilts you can never really tell - was all the fabric purchased at a LQS or was it made from scraps?

Had a SIL like that but I gifted her DD handmade items when she was young, Raggady Ann doll, little crocheted purse, etc. Guess what? This neice grew up to be a speciality handcraft artist with her own studio! Niece has told me many times how she remembers or still has some of the gifts I had made her when she was little.

I would make sure I said thank you first. If I didn't like the colors, pattern, etc. I wouldn't use it on my bed but would find some place else to use it, spare bedroom, camper, a throw on the back of the couch in the familyroom. I definitely would make sure they giver knew what and where I'd be using it. The next time they came over I'd show them where I was using it. I know this is what I'd do because this is exactly what I did when I was given a quilt I didn't really like, but didn't really dislike.

My friend was very happy when she saw it laying across the back of the couch in the familyroom. I made sure I told her how much I appreciated it when it was cold and I had it to cozy up with.

Because I am a quilter, all of my friends think I take in orphans. Orphan quilts that is. They find quilts everywhere, mostly uglies that no one else wants, and bring them to me. I thank them whole heartedly. I take thes quilts, wash them, repair, if necessary, and dye them. It's amazing how some of them turn out almost like batik. Some I send to charity, some I keep. One thing is certain, this family will never freeze. Lol

First, I would be enthusiastic about the quilt to the quilter, making sure to comment positively on the details of the quilt. I might even pose for a photo with it. Then I would take it home and spend some time with it, thinking about how thoughtful the quilter was to make it for me. If the "ick" factor didn't disappear after a few days, I would put it into a seldom used room and wait for a few months to pass. If I knew someone who absolutely loved it, I would call the quilter and say that I had a dilemma. So-and-so saw the quilt and loved it so much and asked to have one like it. S/he knew it was a gift from you and ... I know it's awful but would you mind if I let poor so and so have it? I would never say I didn't like the colors or style. I think that would be rude and hurtful.

What a wonderful story, Charitycrafter. Thank you for sharing and for understanding what he was going through.

I would cherish any kind of quilt that was given to me who made it with love. I wouldn't care what it was made of - old clothes, sheets, bad quilting, anything. I have never been given such a gift and if it was just so "ugly" I would proudly put it somewhere on my bed or as a throw or a bed for the pets because it was made for me with love. And love is the most important thing we can share of ourselves.

It is something your mother made so make a quilt for you and your sister. It is a quilt of love and maybe one of your children would like something grandma made. It is to precious to just leave!

Not everyone has the same opinion. DixieLee would use an ICKY quilt as bed for pets thinking she was honoring the quilter who had made the quilt with love for her, while we have had some quilters who were so incensed to find one of their quilts being used by a pet that they vowed to never make anything for that person again. And never has anyone thought or at least admitted that they had made an ugly quilt and given it away. I wonder why? I'm like the quilter who originated this post. Some of the pictures that get posted make me say "Glad that's not my quilt." while others make me say, "Oh my, that's beautiful."

I would thank the person for all the time and love that went into making it for me. Then I would probably put it in a closet. When someone takes the time and care to do something like that for you that in itself is the gift.

I think I would tell the person. Explain you know all the love and time that goes into it but it doesnt suit your taste and would hate to just store it in a closet when some one else might be able to love and treasure it.

I am saying this from experience as my DIL put the cross stitched "pooh alphabet" baby afghan in her garage sale. I bought it back as well as other things I have made. Clothes I buy back and give to smaller granddaughter who loves them.
It has really turned me off and I do not "make" her anything else
Good luck on your choice,
Dawn 227

I made a quilt for my mother-in-law ( the first of three ) and she loves orange so I used orange and when I gave it to her, she looked at the backing and said she love the material. She folded it up really small and layed it on top of her love seat for a little bit and then it has disappeared. I made two more using fabric she likes but I never saw them in her home. Well, I would love to have them back. I worked hard on them and orange isn't my color but the time and money that went into those quilts make me want to ask for them. She never said thank you or anything. And she's the one that told me at the beginning that she didn't have a quilt and would love one. Her curtains are orange so they match her house, but I think she doesn't like me (in fact I know she doesn't) so that's why I don't know where they are. She probably threw them out. I will never make or give her anything again! Ever!!

i would thank them very much and use the quilt . all quilts require work and they are all beutiful .

Ouch!
 

Although I can understand the critiques and know the creators submitted their quilts to this contest...But as a new quilter, it is almost painful to see all the work that went into most of these quilts...only to end up with righteous messes that are sarcastically judged. Which underlines showing appreciation for handmade items. I would have to smile gracefully and praise the color, pattern. effort--Something-- because to Moms, no one has an ugly baby.

I would feel so honored if some one made me a quilt. I would love it no matter what the style and color. My MIL gave me all her quilt tops before she died. I didn't even think "it's not me" I thought she loved me enough to want me to have her things. I can only pray that when I give a quilt the new owner feels the same way and if not that's ok too. I've never seen an ugly quilt. For my birthday one year my DB gave me an old quilt he bought in an antique store. I wondered for a while why he bought me a quilt bc I make so many. That was his way of showing me his appreciation for the quilts I make him.

Unless the quilt is for a child, I ask the receipent what colors they prefer. I have a daughter who doesn't care what color it is as long as she gets one. However, I do know her preference is black & white. I have made black/white/red for her as she thought that was great. She said it broaden her horizons. I just made one for Christmas for my grand daughter (8 yr). I know her colors are pink and purple. The quilt was pink purple and green. Sounds terrible I know. Turned out cute. Her mother said she would take it if the GD didn't want it. But asking first is the best way to get past the problem. The "Blah" response is usually from adults. If their adults they can be asked first and I don't feel it ruins the suprise.

Oh my goodness ... I never thought of someone not loving a handmade gift I give them! Hmmmmm ... this thread is very thought-provoking! Maybe I need to think very seriously about getting to know a person's likes and dislikes, favorite colors and favorite things before I embark on a time-consuming gift! I love giving gifts, but I would like to think the recepient loves them too!

I have been in the homes of many people who are very proud of the way their homes are decorated, but I wouldn't want to live in them. I wouldn't want them to come redecorate my home. Their taste just is not compatible with mine. The quilts they have draped on their sofas would not look right on my sofa and they wouldn't like mine. I definitely feel individual preferences need to be considered. If someone loves me enough to make me a quilt, I feel they should love me enough to find out what type of quilt I would love to have. Obviously there are two distinct schools of thought on this subject and I doubt if they will ever intersect.

The Bible says it's better to give than to receive. So give with the love you have put into it. Once the quilt is in their possession it becomes theirs and no longer yours and what they do with it is out of your control. Just think about the joy you received as you made the quilt and the joy in giving. That's truly what it's all about. To Joyce888, if the quilt was not fully completed when you received it (only the top), then I don't see the problem in taking the blocks part, adding sashing that you will enjoy and putting the quilt together. You'll still have your mother's love in the blocks that she completed but will enjoy it more with fabric you have chosen. You could add some additional color in the blocks and then find some fabric to match. The most important thing here is that you use the blocks your mother made.

We all get gifts that are so "not us". The trick is to thank the person for thinking of you! That is what I have to do this year with my Dad who sent me something I would NEVER in a MILLION years use. But for him the fact that he thought at all about me is something I had to thank him for.

I was told once that the receiver did not like the quilt I was making for her and I got really bummed. I thought "harumph...then you are not getting a quilt from me, you [expletive delete]. After a while I mellowed and made a quilt she did like. So if anyone were to give me a quilt that were the wrong colors or the wrong pattern like a GFG or a SBS, I'd consider that the quilter does not know me very well. I would find something nice to say about the gift. Then I'd find a spot for it. Probably folded up under a cat with my own quilts.

oh so i guess you did not join the "quilt for quilters" swap?:) wouldnt it be nice to receive the gift of a handmade quilt?