Way to go, Billy! What's being discussed here is a stress sandwich. Guilt over spending too much, stress over hiding it, stress about telling the spouse, stressing over (maybe) having an addiction, on and on and on!

To me, an addiction is when someone's spending puts the family in jeopardy where the mortgage can't be paid and the bill collectors are at the door. My opinion is that, for many of us, there's some underlying stress elsewhere in our lives that is partly relieved by buying fabric, an item that appeals to our artistic side but one that we can justify by saying that it can be made into something useful -- quilts.

Is saying "chocolate is my friend" an addiction? No! Chocolate raises the "happy" hormones in our brain, making us feel better. So, FABRIC = HAPPY

Diannemc, you are not a bad person, even if you do have an addiction which I doubt is the case. What's your stress??? How about trying to sell a house, not having your own money, contemplating moving, etc. Sounds to me like you need some major happy brain hormones.

You are a strong person! YOU ARE WOMAN! Keeper of the home flame, the glue that binds, a person who turns to something productive (quilting) vs. sitting around indulging in some destructive addiction. Make a budget for fabric. There were some good ideas here on how to save those pennies. When you get a nest egg, go spend with no guilt or stress. You're in a temporary bad place. Things will get better.

You are just like the rest of us and that is not a bad thing! Just love fabric!

I've been known to pay cash to hide my purchases.

I am guilty of overspending so bad that we decided to get rid of the credit and debit cards. Now we have a pre-paid card for use on the computer, but other than that it is cash all the way. We have been out of debt 17 years this month. Now that I am legally blind, I can't go to the store by myself, so I do have to have a list, but usually he will allow an extra 'must have' or two.

However, since my wonderful friends on this forum sent me a huge stash, shopping at home is a wonderful adventure. Even my kids will help me find the exact piece I need.

Don't feel too bad, just be honest. Tell him over fresh pie and ice cream and coffee. My hubby would accept a splurge on sale stuff pretty well as long as I was feeding him.

I can't do that if hubby says not to I can't he check everything daily on the computer.

This may be a bit harsh, I apologize in advance, I am not looking to make anyone feel badly.

I actually had to get up, and walk away from this thread, and greet my husband at the door, to tell him I loved him.

I work, he works. However he out-earns me by more than double my income, so the big bills, the 'real' ones, are his.

If you do NOT work outside the home, consider the cost he would have for a maid service, a laundry service and a meal service. You do thousands of unpaid jobs that he couldn't hire someone to do, therefore you are JUST as deserving of some of the money he brings home, because you make it possible for him to go to work every day and come home to a home that is warm, clean and safe.

Unless I am planning on spending more than $500 of MY MONEY, I feel it is not a bit of his business. He is of the same feeling. I don't want to know about every car part he thinks he can't LIVE WITHOUT (but I hear about it anyway, lol) and he really doesn't get the same level of excitement over my finding 5 fabrics that look cool together.

I inherited $1000 from my Nana and because "I" decided I wanted to put it toward a $1300 machine, we talked. I didn't ask his permission.

It hurts, physically hurts my heart, to hear that one grown adult feels the true need to hide $30 of spending for something that makes her happy from another grown adult who is supposed to be a partner, not a parent or a jailer.

I also think we may toss about the word "addiction" lightly, when really we are not talking about something destructive; we use it for its drama, for its heightened sense of meaning, but I don't think most of us are discussing an actual addiction, just a pleasure, a hobby, an avocation.

I'm sorry if I've offended, but it is one of my pet peeves.(Don't get me started on men being asked to babysit their own children!!)

We've all spent money this month on other people, be it a lot or a little, or fabric to make them something wonderful.
We see something that someone special would really like, and we buy it. It may be more costly than we had planned, but we know they will "love it"!

Aren't we just as important as everyone else? Please don't
feel bad about being good to yourself!

You are NOT a bad person. Stop and think about his hobbies. Would he think twice about getting something he wanted?

Amen!

My wife has never worked a day since we we married 26 years ago.

I was brought up that the man was the bread winner and the wife was in charge of everything else. I have always pitched in and helped her with everything including changing diapers and sitting up all night with the sick kiddo so she could get some rest.

She has always been in charge of the money and bills in the house and we have always had a joint bank account since before the I do's were said. The way I look at it if she wants to spend money on something for herself she deserves it and I am not complaining.

Now like someone else stated I have to show her all of my car parts and sewing machines I bring home and like the good wife, she will listen and tell me I did good even though I know she really doesn't care but she shares the excitement with me.

But on the same note she will show me the neat pair of shoes or a piece of jewelry that she got on sale and I will sit and look and listen and share her happiness! :D :D

Billy

Billy, your wife has worked every day since you were

married 26 years ago!!!!

Truth be known she put in way more hours than I ever did before I left the corporate world.

Billy

I think most quilter's have the same problem. I have filled two rooms with material but still bought over $100 yesterday. My husband gave me a quilting gift certificate (still have some of it left and my sister-in-law gave me another one that's burning a hole in my pocket). I have no idea what I will do with all the material and I don't really concentrate on it. It took me a long time to figure out that with most things in life, it's not the destination but the journey, that's satifying. My journey just includes a lot of fabric stores; don't know if I'll ever reach the destination of getting all the quilts made, but I'll enjoy the ride.

Oh what a terrific gift! The fun you will have with that! :thumbup:

Since I spend my own money on fabric, I'm the only one I have to answer to...but I'd also have a time passing up a sale like that!

A fabric addiction, in my mind, is healthier than smoking, drinking, or drugs, and what is created from all that eye candy can either keep yourself warm or a luck recipient. Mmmmmm!

I know the feeling,every time I go into HANCOCKS, in
atown close, they are having some kind of SALE. There
is always fabric I don't need that goes home with me.


Marilyn

I do it too.

OK, I feel better already. It's been said. I'm with you.

I solved my problem with DH's reminding me about spending. I took one day and made a list of all the things I have made and their retail cost. I make clothes, bathing suits, home dec, quilts and presents. When he saw the list and the total, he was amazed. He'd never thot of it that way and I never heard another word about what I spent on sewing including machines.

I also made lists of what he and the four boys spent on their "toys". Cars were their thing and then motorcycles for racing. Our DH's just don't see the big picture till you put it in dollars and sense. Marion

Gee, no one else has ever done that, right? Yeah, RIGHT!!!! When that happens to me I remember what someone once told me.....it's more feminine to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Enjoy your new "stash!"

Proof of my happy purchasing below.

Marriage is teamwork and a partnership. All the years the kids were young we pinched every penny, and most of the fabric I bought was with a Joanne's card from having a credit card from there. We paid it off every month, of course, but it was a way to have this hobby and not spend too much. Now, years later, we're settled into secure employment and there's no debt from all that penny pinching, so I am able to purchase what I'd like. Do I buy more than I need? Yes. But, it's a joy in my life and hubby is happy I'm happy. Maybe he's just relieved I'm not into diamonds/jewelry/make-up. Jeepers--just think what we're saving! :lol:

Oh, I'm so with all of you in this! That's why we are a support group! Too bad we support each other in feeding our addiction! :mrgreen: I figure that DH spends about $30 a week on his pool league so I get to spend the equivalant on fabric! :lol: With that logic, I'm about 5 years behind what he spends! I better go shopping! :thumbup:

Karla...yummy eye candy!!!!

And there's so much more. I think part of the stash build up has to do with I always make quilts with lots of fabrics in them! :roll: The watercolor floral had over 60 alone! Then I made a scrap CW when I didn't own one piece of CW fabric, then a scrap black and white--nope--didn't own any of that either. Sigh... I'd better keep quilting for a long long while. What a hardship. :lol:

But they always look sooo wonderful! It is kinda funny how we go from one "type" to another....CW to your garden floral...to B/W...what next???? Well, I see the pattern for the one above...very pretty!

I had a dear friend who said she limited herself to a fabric budget of $100.00 a month, it was February, and she said she was already into November's budget.

I think it IS an addiction. I wonder what a psychologist would say about it. I try to stay away from quilt shops and Joann's if I simply cannot afford to shop. But then I find myself searching through the on-line sites for something I just can't live without. Especially if there is a SALE going on. For instance right now there are so many end of the year sales. I just ordered $40.00 dollars worth of sale fabric from Equilter. I lied to myself that I couldn't afford NOT TO. What a bunch of baloney! After all the Christmas bills come in, along with this one, I won't be able to shop for months!

A very wise woman (my mom) once told me: "You can't get even."

:wink: But I say, it sure is fun trying. :lol:

I know (at least I hope) we all speak of this "addiction" in jest. And yes, it sure is better than a lot of others that we could or might have. Happy Wishing, happy shopping, happy stitching in 2010.

Tell him it is cheaper then therapy!!!!!

LOL this sounds like me! I went to the quilt shop to ONLY get backing...but there was a 25% off sale on EVERYTHING in the store. So I bought a quilt kit as well. I ended up getting a quilt kit, pattern book, and my backing. It would have been 180 dollars but I got it all (some were extra on sale) for 100!!! Look how much money I saved! When I say that to do DH he says "ya you are saving us right into the poor house) hehehehehe. Ill put some pics up later this evening but when there is a deal there is a deal you cant pass it up!

Oh my goodness!!! LOL That sounds like something I would do thought haha

:lol: :lol: :lol: too funny!

I also agree with Barnbum about having scrimped and saved when we were first married and now it is our time to splurge a little or a lot!
I think as long as you have food on the table and bills paid and you are both happy..thats what counts. My husband goes golfing and he has a boat and enjoys a few beers at the pub with his mates. I on the other hand, quilt and shop and enjoy having a coffee with a friend and going to the movies to see chick flicks.
We also go leisure boating together and go out for lunch and go on holidays etc. We only discuss bigger purchases and if he really wants something or I really want something and as long as it doesnt break the bank then we get it.

I made a deal with DH - he doesn't ask what I spend for fabric, and I don't ask what he spends on tools! Works wonderfully.

Did any of you ladies see the Connecting Thread fabric sale for 50% off.....

I went online and bought 17yards..........

and I was leaving home the next day for Florida for 4 months....
but couldn't pass up a sale like that...........
had it forwarded down there and it arrived yesterday..

it really is very nice..........

at that price, I really don't feel bad at all.........MaryJane

Okay, clearly something is WRONG with me. I went to a fabric store Tuesday and walked out empty handed! This is not the first time this has happened.

Often I don't have a particular project in mind when I go to the quilt shop, but like to roam around the shop to see if the fabric screams "Buy Me" Sometimes it does and other times nothing really grabs my attention.

Since I am confessing, several years ago when I lived in Denver I mentioned in a sewing class that I didn't get as much sewing done as I would like because I had to clean house first. I explained that to sew guilt free the house had to be clean and by the time I finished I would be too tired. Everyone in class howled and told me that my priorities were all screwed up.

I'm doing better now. Sometimes the floor needs mopping before I sew, and still needs mopping when I'm finished!

Well now my problem is...I spend too much time on this Forum and don't have time for quilting. What's a person to do? I just love reading all your entries and tips. Tomorrow, I will pull out my scraps...in fact that would be a good new years resolution..just spend 2 hours a day here and the rest of the free time quilting. By the way who mops floors anymore????

What's a mop?

:mrgreen:

I have a large stash, and decided the first of the year (2009) that I had no room left to add more stash:)
In March both my husband and I were laid off, thank goodness for that large stash, it has kept me busy and able to make gifts that didn't cost much out of pocket. I have purchased fabric that I needed to finish a project or gift but have tried really hard not to buy just for "stash".
I am now starting to notice what needs to be replenshed in the "stash" once we are working again:)

JanetM

DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT THE ONLY TIME CLEANING COMES BEFORE QUILTING IS

IN THE DICTIONARY !!!!!!!!!!!

LOL, mjsylvstr, I love that.