I'm just not creative
 

Tell me what you think about this. I've been thinking about doing a Kaffe Fassett-style brightly coloured quilt. I haven't finalised a design yet but have been busy cutting out squares in lots of possible fabrics. This afternoon I was showing my very creative sister the squares and my fairly simple ideas as to what I might do. She immediately made a suggestion that would make the whole thing much more exciting. Instead of feeling happy and inspired, ever since I've just wanted to cry because it brought it home that I simply don't have that extra creative insight that comes so easily to her. What do you do if you desperately want to have original creativity - but it's just not there? I'm a workaday quilter who can turn out a competent quilt if I follow a pattern and it's not too difficult, but no more than that. I yearn to do original, self-expressive work, but the ideas are just not there.
My excitement about my quilt has gone. If I use my sister's idea, it won't feel like my original idea any more, and if I dont, i'll know it could have been better. I feel ridiculous for reacting so strongly, but also very miserable.

Just because your sister had a different idea doesn't mean its better or would look better. Have more confidence in yourself and do things your way. We all look at things differently and have different talents. Don't ever let anyone else steel your thunder, do it your way and make yourself happy. She can make her own.

By the way, your creativity is orginal because its yours. If you made hers, it wouldn't be orginal to you.

If this really bothers you, I would avoid asking for her advice in the future. Talk to someone at a LQS so you get "professional" advice. You may be able to still do that with this quilt. It sounds as though you have some issues with your sisters that you haven't dealt with. You are perfect the way you are. You are magnificent in every way. I am sure if you had made the quilt in the way you had originally intended it would have been beautiful. Quit worrying about what other people think or what they may have done better. Just my 2 cents worth. Happy Quilting!

I also struggle with original ideas. So I have become content to find patterns and fabrics that i see in magazines or online and make something like those. If I make the quilt it is 'mine', and as long as I am not selling it or claim credit for the design, what's the big deal? As I have gotten more quilts under my belt I am finding it easier to modify something that inspires me to make it a little more original. Relax and just try to enjoy whatever you are making. Those sparks may come over time.

I know you are sad or upset but it made me chuckle. It must be your older sister. Is it an older sister? I'm the older sister and my sisters (sadly one died) would always say that they can't do anything as well as I do it. Wasn't true, still isn't true.They thought and still think it is true. If asked my opinion, especially if my sister asks, I give a 100% honest answer. If they would say "Do you like this?". If they made it, even if it was ugly, I would say something positive and nice. You can always say something nice. If they ask "What would you do differently with this?" I would give options thinking they wanted options. Your sister may have only given a different opinion because she thought you wanted a different opinion. I never ask opinions when I am going to make something. I have it in my head what I'm doing and sadly I don't care what anyone else thinks. They aren't making it. If they want a quilt a different way, if they need a machine to do it they can borrow one of mine but they can go ahead and make it themselves.

Your sister probably thought she was being kind offering suggestions but next time do like me and don't ask because it doesn't matter what they think.

Well, how many quilts have you made? Sometimes it takes a while to get that creativity going. I paint, but it took a whole lot of lessons to do it. But, It's fun. So just keep going. You'll be shocked at what you can do.

Everyone is creative, let's get that straight first. For some it just comes easier than it does for others. One trick is to relax and let it flow, no stress, no pressure. Find a comfortable seat, enjoy a relaxing beverage, maybe a piece of chocolate (or two), jot down all your ideas...good, bad, and otherwise...and don't rate them in any way as you write/sketch. Any one of them can trigger a new thought and send you off to a whole new idea that turns out stunningly.

There are millions of ways to put fabrics together into a quilt. Your sister suggested just one of them. That leaves you all the others to play around with until your "Aha!" moment strikes...and it will. I promise. :)

Do you use a design wall? I am part of a group of 5 quilters. One woman is so creative and never uses a pattern. Her quilts are breathtaking. I bought a panel of wolves, three scenes, and had no idea what to do with them. I started buying material, two ladies gave me fabric they thought would work. I really wanted to do some thread painting, tried on a practice piece and had to admit that it wasn't working for me, just not skilled enough. So I accepted my skill level and moved on. I used my design wall and just kept adding fabric and making simple blocks. I am so proud of how it all came together and my brother loved it. It was a challenge but so worth it. Do what pleases you, for your enjoyment, and keep learning. I do it to renew my sole, not to seek approval from anyone else. Stay strong!

Aww you need a great big hug! Don't ever let it get you down for not dong "good enough" Let your work be yours and be happy that you can do it. I bet, in time, your ideas will come and they will be admired by many. I know somewhat how you feel for I have an older sister that says she is a perfectionist and she does do some beautiful quilts and yet I probably enjoy my quilting more than she does. We all would love to have that perfect look but sometimes it takes more work for some of us to get to that point. know that if you stick with it you will only get more creative and find pleasure in what you do. Keep looking for ideas and you may be surprised what you come up with. HUGS

You shouldn't feel ridiculous about how you reacted; I think it's understandable. Unfortunately, it's a sure road to grief, to spend time wishing you had the gifts and talents that others have, rather than celebrating the ones you have. However, there are lots of excellent books on design theory, that will give you some tools to exercise your creative muscle, if you are wanting to develop your creative side in relation to designing quilts.

Not everyone is equally creative. Consider something like a play. Not everyone can be a playwright, but there are also actors, stage designers, directors, etc., who bring the play to life so that others can experience it. I'm fairly certain I will never design a quilt to rival some of the amazing ones I've seen; heck, I may never design one at all. So far in my brief quilting career, I've been using other people's patterns, and exercising my creativity in choosing what fabrics to use in bringing them to life. But I still enjoy exercising my creativity in this way. Celebrate yourself!

I think you are working from a very narrow definition of creativity. Your sister is clearly artistic and good at visualizing, but whether she's actually a creative thinker isn't apparent from your example. Creativity is regarded by many who study thinking to be the highest form of giftedness. That goes way beyond making a suggestion that improves a quilt design. You're giving your sister way too much credit and yourself too little. Some of the most creative people aren't artistic at all. And some people with artistic talent aren't particularly original thinkers.

hugs,
Charlotte

I'm curious. Is your sister a quilter? Does she have more experience in quilting? What is her background?

We each have different gifts. Some gifts can be developed through practice and willingness to learn. Unfortunately others can't be.

Even if your sister came up with the design, you would be doing the actual sewing and quilting. I hope you can find some peace [pun intended] in your decision of what to do.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. I piece very well, enjoy basting and hand-stitching the binding. I am good at choosing complementary colors and fabrics. I have a very hard time, however, choosing a pattern/design and especially deciding how to quilt the basted sandwich. That is why I SID for most of my quilts. I spend SO much time looking here and googling to get FMQ ideas and still, I have a hard time. Using your sister's idea, to me, would be no different than using someone else's pattern or, in my case, using an idea from here or the internet for FMQ. You are still the one doing the work so revel in your accomplishment and all the praises you will get!!

There are many aspects to quilting. IMHO, I feel I am best at putting colors/fabrics together and the actual quilting. My piecing is okay and improving. If I am selecting fabrics at a quilt store and an employee or a passing quilter suggests a different fabric, I will thank them and make a decision to include it or not based on if it SPEAKS TO ME. It seems like you are using all or nothing thinking that somehow you have given up all rights to call your quilt your own because you like a suggestion your Sister made. I may really like the fabric someone suggests and incorporate it in my quilt/design that doesn’t make it any less my quilt.

Dearest Annesthreads, Here's a question you might ask yourself. Would you have felt the same if one of your girlfriends had made the suggestion your sister made that discouraged your dear heart??? I don't know where to begin to explain to you how well I am personally familiar with your difficult feelings regarding being creative. I have a younger sister who felt this way about me and I also felt this way about her! Our story is anything but simple, but we needed help! This was 29 years ago, we both went through Christian counseling and have gotten lots of healing. In our case, those feeling of being inadequate came from our Mother always singing the praises to me about my sister, and vice versa. We found from counselors Mother was a narcissist who needed to control everything, she used the wounds she inflicted to control. Our case is pretty extreme, I encourage you to begin looking for a trusted friend or counselor you can talk to, professionals have been taught on how to get to the root cause of your awful emotional pain. No one should have to live with those feelings of being "so-so". The fact that you want to do something "better" tells me you probably have it in you. (A so-so person would be thrilled with their plan and not seek to improve). Please feel free to send me a private message.

I'm not creative when it comes to coming up with my own ideas and I'll have to admit I use wildly different fabrics in the same quilt sometimes. I think it all comes out great (in my mind of course). I wouldn't change the way I do things because I feel like my fabric choices are the breath of fresh air in the patterns I use. Don't get down on yourself because you do things differently, that's what makes quilting so much fun!

There is no measuring stick with which to measure traits. It is true, that everyone has strengths and weaknesses that come naturally but true strength is in recognizing what we do well and how to supplement what we feel we struggle with.

Years ago, I worked in the printing industry and it was my job to design things for customers, even logos for new local businesses. People often commented on how creative I was, but as a non-artist, I knew that I had learned some basic principles of design which served me well.

We can admire others as creative and find ourselves lacking, or we can recognize our own strengths and take what we need from other sources. Put away your measuring stick and be happy that you will love the design of your new quilt. You chose the fabrics and generated the original idea, it is not your sister's quilt.

I do not consider myself creative - I take a lot of inspiration from others. I see something on google images I like, I take note of values but will change the colour to suit me if I like it that much. For me, as long as I am enjoying what I am doing then I am happy with my "creations". Don't be too hard on yourself.

I understand your pain and you need to get past it. Everyone here has offered some wonderful advice. I would read through all of them carefully and let them help ease you past this resentment and helplessness that you feel.

I am here to tell you that I am in your boat. The difference is, I accept my limitations. I know I have them, because when our oldest of 3 daughters was 5 years old (she's 47 now) asked me to draw her a girl. I forgot that her dad, who is a wonderfully talented artist, drew her one a couple of days before that. I drew what I thought was a pretty good girl. I was slammed by the 5 year old when she said "Mom, I can draw a better girl than you can." I was stunned and started laughing. And said "Show me." She did. Hers was much better. I thank heaven that 2 of our 3 girls got their father's talent. The other's daughter's youngest girl is a very talented artist at the age of 9. (I am going to get her to do Crayola Quilt blocks for me one of these days.)

I am great at following a quilt pattern and at making a quilt using some kind of a picture with the colors in it that I like. I am not worth a darn when I have to pick out more than 5 or 6 colors on my own for a quilt. I have to let professionals help me with it. I don't care. I love what I make and enjoy it very much. I would NEVER do what you were trying to do, just start cutting squares and then try to figure out what to make with them. I cannot do that. I have to have a plan and know where I am going. So you are to be commended for at least having started to make a quilt without a pattern. Having said that, I have seen some beautiful quilts with 4 to 6 inch squares made into a grid with black fabric as sashing. The newest trend now is to use KF fabric and make the Dresden plates on black. Stunning quilts!

Instead of resenting that your sister is more talented creatively, accept her as she is, and use her creativity. Feeling bad about it only feeds your feelings of inadequacy and you just don't need to feel that way. Remember, you were smart enough to buy those wonder KF fabrics. You knew you wanted to use them. You started the cutting. You are going to do the sewing. You will be doing the quilting. Her idea of a way to put them together is a very small part of the whole process and you might have come up with her idea if you had looked at enough pictures of KF quilts.

Cry your heart out if you have to and just let this go. Our lives are too short to go around feeling hurt every time we don't sing the best song, or do the best drawing or come up with the best idea. We just do what we can and enjoy seeing people love our quilts and enjoy our lives as best we can.

You've had lots of comfort & advice. I hope it helps you appreciate you for you. Hugs!

On the design side, if you haven't got electric quilt, get it. If that's too pricey or complicated, get quilt wizard.

Its the "junior" version same company just not as sophisticated.

Start playing with design. Put dif blocks together. Play and learn. I believe everyone is creative. Skill levels vary as do methods of expression.

Lots of good advice here. :) I always felt the same as you. But after awhile I realized where my weakness lay in designing quilts and where my darling SIL excelled. Now we trade ideas!! Her sense of color is better than mine but I think my sense of proportion is better than hers and we compromise (or agree to disagree!) on some layouts. Even if you feel like you are not creative there are always good ideas on google search or pinterest. Happy quilting!! :)

I'm not really that creative either, but I have often taken quilts that I saw in magazines and adapted them to what I want. I have a friend who also quilts and we bounce ideas off each other. She's not real creative either and neither of us get upset if one of use gives a negative review. We also use graph paper and colored pencils to sometimes draw out the quilt and we both have design walls.

As far as your sisters idea, maybe you could tweek it just a little to make more of your idea. It is hard to come up with ideas, but sometimes it helps to Google quilt patterns and you would be surprised of all the ideas you can get from there. Good luck with your quilt and be sure to post pictures

It's your choice, your color, your pattern, using your skills to put it all together. Be proud of what you have accomplished. I think every creative person strives to make things better. Listen to your inner self, not somebody elses ideas. Each quilt is a piece of art, and every artist is different.

Everybody has their own "talent". My mother is an artist - painting the most beautiful oil paintings. She has been doing this for over 50 years. It just dawned on my not too long ago that my mother has never painted an "original" painting in her life. All of her paintings have been copies. She has copied the "masters", copied photographs, etc. But she paints them beautifully! You might not have an original idea for a quilt but you probably make a darned good copy of one that you have seen before in a book or magazine or Pinterest, etc. What is wrong with that? If it makes somebody happy that you give it to, or makes somebody warm?????

I know how you feel. I'm profoundly color blind and I quilt. Shortly after I started quilting I realized I can't do quilts with a zillions of different fabrics/colors. I get paralyzed mentally after many attempts to make it work because I literally can't process all the different colors. I'm also somewhat geometry challenged, so complex quilts are not in my future.

Nonetheless, I do what I consider creative quilting. Creativity isn't all about complexity and color, or even talent, it's about what you do with the gifts God gave you.

My niche is 2, 3, or 4 fabric quilts. Within that niche, I make quilts that I consider creative. It's not easy; I have to audition fabrics and have my DH (or someone who I know is good with color) approve my fabric choices. I'd say my quilts are striking, perhaps more on the modern side than the traditional.

So don't concern yourself with your sister's creativity vs yours. It's the excitement that you felt before you spoke with your sister that makes quilting fun, so show her your quilts after you're finished or don't show them to her at all.

PS: I'm 65 and my sister is 69. We both quilt, but I've been doing it longer, so I've figured out how to do a few more things than she has. She will not take any suggestions from me about anything. Sadly, sibling rivalry will apparently live with us until one of us dies. That makes it hard to share the excitement and joy of quilting with her. Oh, well.

When I show a lay out of my quilt pattern to my quilting friends, someone will have a great idea to do it another way and I go WOW! what a difference and I feel happy that my quilt will be much better. I have never been being upset because I didn't think of it. I may next time so no reason to let it bother me. You may have a great idea the next time or the next so if you don't keep making quilts you never will have your own WOW quilt moment.

I read lots of words of wisdom in this post. You will gain confidence with each quilt you make. I spend a lot of time in the quilt shop seeing what other people pick out for their quilts. I look at quilts to see what it is that speaks to me about them. I have a friend who always seems to be able to give some advise which will help my quilt along. I don't have a sister to give me advice -- which is why the advice I get from others doesn't bother me. Learn from each quilt you do. I've been quilting 18 years and am so surprised at what I learn about quilting!

I understand how you are feeling. I really do. I don't even know how to help, except to say that you are not alone. Hang in there though, take comfort from us, and know that you are not alone.

Dina

Okay, dear one, take a deep breath, clear your mind of hurt and let's think this through.
Does your sister quilt? What is her creative outlet if not? Do you do it as she does?
How long have you been quilting? Do you enjoy the process more than the picking of fabrics/colors/patterns?
Are you in love with the cuddle effect of finished quilts?
Have you given any away? How were they received?
Have you taken any classes?
Do you buy books and magazines with lots of colored pictures of quilts?
Have you ever searched Google Images for pictures of quilts and thrilled at the colors and shapes?
Do you have a good sized stash or do you buy for each quilt individually?

Answers to these questions will begin to introduce you to your self as a quilter, to your habits, focus, preferences. If you will allow yourself to think about these and about what YOU want from the craft of quilting, it will help you to settle your emotions around not being what someone else may be (your sister) and allow you to be what YOU are. If you have been quilting less than, say, five years, you still have lots of developing of your own creativity and quilting personality to do. You are you...isn't that a miracle!....you aren't anyone else!

Work to develop your creativity IF that's what you *want* to do, would *like* to do.....not if you feel you *should*. Artists come in all genres, thankfully. Find your place and enjoy it as long as you want to, then grow a different direction....if you want to. Be you. You are unique. Admire the skills/talents/direction of others, but never feel the need to be like them when it isn't you.

WE at QB want to see and share and encourage your quilting; bring it to us no matter how you finish, okay?!

Hugs,
Jan in VA

I am an introvert. As such, I work my ideas over and over in my head until I'm happy with them, then I start. This is my way with everything--writing, cooking, quilting.... when I'm done, and I put it out there for others to read, eat, look at, etc., I know that I have done it my way, and that pleases me. It took a long time, but I'm now comfortable with this. My advice is to trust yourself. Comparisons are never accurate because no one else is you. :)

Definitely good advice!

I always talk to lots of people and look at lots of pictures and then pick out of it how I like it. Nothing wrong with asking your sister but you don't have to stop there. Ask more people and gather all ideas and then decide what components you want to use. You ultimately decide how you want it.I think it is a strength to be open to ideas others have. Also sometimes someone's idea might be more creative but you are the one to decide how you really like it even if it is maybe not as exciting to most other people.

If you follow a pattern from a book or magazine does it make it any less your quilt? Your sister suggested a pattern if you don't like it don't use it, if you like it use it, don't worry if at the moment you feel your not there with your own designs, just enjoy your quilting. If I sew a quilt or a garment from someone else's pattern, I don't feel its any less mine, I'm the one that made the pattern come to life. I sew because it's something I love doing, I use my designs but if someone else's looks good and I like it, I'll use that too, happy quilting xx

Thanks for all the thoughtful and kind replies. I'm crying, which is a bit embarrassing as I'm in the cafe at a railway station..!
To respond to some of the points made:

i asked myself if this was sibling rivalry, and, yes, that will be playing a part, though I think I'd have still felt pretty vulnerable if it had been a friend. She's my younger sister, and the older/younger dynamic was the reverse of that in many families. She's very talented, attractive - and like my mother, who I think took one look and fell in love! I was always second-best after that, and have had to deal with the consequences over the years. No sense of superiority coming from my sister herself - she didn't make the suggestion about the quilt to show off, just because she's creative and saw how to make it better. She's done a bit of quilting and a wide range of textile and paper-based work over the years, always original rather than patterns.

i was pretty useless at anything to do with arts and crafts as a child and until I was 50 firmly believed that there was nothing practical or artistic that I could do. Then I tried and, to my surprise, enjoyed, crosstitch, and shortly afterwards a friend taught me some quilting basics.

Ive been quilting for about 12 years, I think. So it's not just inexperience getting in the way. I yearn to get away from traditional quilts and to find a way of using my quilting skills to produce original work that expresses something of me. But that's as far as it goes, as I have no more specific ideas about what or how that expression might be. I think I have an artist's eye: I really look at things, am aware as I move through the world, respond to colour, beauty, pattern - but don't have the first idea what to do with that. I can't draw or paint, so it has to be another, more abstract medium.

Ive been using a design wall (well, my bed, as I don't have a big-enough wall in my small house!) for this quilt, and thought I was doing ok with it. Then as I tried to show a selection of my chosen fabrics to my sister, I could almost physically feel my confidence and excitement draining away - suddenly it didn't look that good at all - just a haphazard mess. Her suggestion could be used to pull it all together, but I so wanted this to be my own original project and it wouldn't feel like that if I knew the only reason it looked good was because of someone else's idea.

The comment about being an introvert resonated, because I'm one, and I did think last night that maybe what I've learned is to work as you describe, and keep it all to myself till its done. And yet.... In spite of what's happened this time, sometimes it's fun to share (though I've always done most of my quilting alone, as there's no suitable group anywhere nearby).

I think id really like to do a course that encourages exploration of creativity through teaching techniques and suggesting exercises. My sister has done a City and Guildscourse that included lots of that. I spent ages on Google last night to see if I could find a distance learning/online course like that, but, quite surprisingly, I drew a blank.

I mustn't forget to catch my train....!

While I certainly agree with all the comments posted so far - here's a different perspective for you. Consider that your sister would not have been able to come up with the suggestions she did if you had not put the initial pieces together! I am sure you are very creative in your own right - just a different type of creativity than your sister's.

Also consider that many of us can not see errors (oops - meant to say design options) in our quilts until we are done and have photographed them - has happened to me more than once. And even then, some of still don't see that upside down block until someone else points it out!

I'm in the process of doing my first original design for a quilt after about 15 years of quilting. Can manage different fabric choices for other's patterns with no problems. This is not an 'artistic' type quilt in any way, shape or form. I've shown the progression of my design to any number of people, all of whom have had great suggestions as to how to get it closer to what is in my mind's eye. I am very grateful to them all. I'm almost ready to start slicing/dicing/sewing. Maybe a few more tweaks as I go along. We'll see.

Check out Quilt University if you are looking for some long distance/online classes. I believe they might have something that you might be looking for in terms of techniques, etc.

Continue working your design with or without your sister's suggestions. You'll know when it's what you want.

Good luck.

Had to smile, remembering a table runner and place mats I made some years ago. I didn't notice till they were completely finished that I'd got blocks the wrong way round in 3 different places. No-one ever notices...
I thought Quilt University had gone? Their courses were exactly what I need, which is one reason I'm stuck with finding online courses. Crafty doesn't seem to have the same range of more exploratory, experimental courses.

I feel for you! To me, I think you need to build confidence in your own abilities. I know you've been quilting a while, but we're our own worst critics and we're often all guilty of being too hard on ourselves. As far as I can see - you've got two options. One is to use the suggestion your sister made, make the quilt, enjoy it and learn from it for next time. Option two is to put it one one side for a few weeks and look it it again with fresh eyes.

I recently went to a lecture by Kaffe Fassett as I'm a huge fan of his work from my knitting heyday and he has an exhibition here at the moment. I went to a private showing too and was lucky enough to speak to him. Although I didn't go to his workshop, my understanding from a lady who did go, was that really, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your fabrics must have 'spoken' to you when you bought them and again when you cut them and somehow, you lost that confidence when your sister made a suggestion. If you genuinely feel you like her idea, then go with it - who's to say you might not have thought of it yourself at some point? Personally, I think you should go with your heart. Perhaps try and get a couple of Kaffe Fassett books out of the library to inspire you?

I'm a newish quilter myself, still finding my way and also doubted my creativity for ages. I should mention that I used paint my own ceramics fired in my own kiln years ago and without bragging, produced some nice pieces. I gave it up when it became a job, with people placing orders for my stuff. I simply couldn't harness that creative streak in quilting! However, having made a couple of appliqué quilts of my own design I feel much more confident. I recently bought 5 metres of plain tomato red fabric as I'm going to made a red quilt. Something along the lines of my avatar, but my own design. At the moment it's sitting in a bag waiting for inspiration to strike, but I'm not worried about it - still mulling ideas and thoughts and probably won't start it until after Christmas.

Please let us know what you decide and happy quilting! :)

Some people design....some of us execute! I have no illusions of being a "designer". That is just a fact! Not a flaw.


IFP! (I follow patterns) .

Some if us piece...some of YOU "quilt", as in longarm! Same thing. We all have our gifts.

Sandy

PS: i don't ask for advice or opinions. That way I don't feel obligated to execute others' advice. IF you expect to take their advice, do so graciously. You asked them for their input. You gave permission, in fact. If it always makes you feel inferior, don't ask. Simple..IMHO. HUGZ.
SANDY