Would those who are asking return the favor if things were reversed? The more you say "no" the easier it gets. I have had special requests for quilts that are supposed to be gifts. Really, you want what colors? What Pattern? Here Honey, is a quarter. Call somebody who will care

This line is priceless for so many things. Thanks for sharing it.

That's how I deal with it too. Because I really wouldn't mind teaching them how to quilt.

I like the idea of telling them something like $750 to piece the top plus cost of fabric. They would also need to check with a long arm quilter to see what the charge would be to complete the quilt. Just a thought.

I have also heard it said they would have someone pick out the pattern they wanted and take them to the store to see what the fabric would cost and they usually don't want to spend the cost of the fabric and pattern much less a hefty sum for construction and quilting.

It's a type of selfishness, I think. And before anybody gets mad at me, I think a certain degree of selfishness is required for a person to stay balanced and sane. I freely admit to being a selfish person.

What I mean is:

I'm willing to invest a lot of time (and money) on enriching myself and my life. For me, quilting is enriching.

I am not nearly as willing to invest a lot of time on a task that is done per someone else's orders.

Time is the one thing I can never earn more of, and selfishly, I reserve a lot of my "spare" time for living my own life.

I could be selfless and give and give and give, but that's not a healthy way to live life and eventually I'd have nothing to give anymore. SO, I am selfish with my time. I'm generous with giving away what comes out of that time, but I REFUSE to take orders about what to do with that time.

Maybe if my quilting could generate the same kind of income as my day job, I'd consider switching jobs. Maybe I'd switch to quilting for a paycheck and programming for fun, instead of the other way around. But either way, I'm going to selfishly hold part of my time for ME.

And I'm unapologetic about it, I think it's healthy to be that way and anybody who tries to convince me otherwise is probably trying to take advantage of me!

Bravo! A good way to explain taking care of oneself.

Well said. I'm so selfish that I don't even feel bad when I say No.

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Originally Posted by Quossum (Post 6749975)

It takes all the fun out of a hobby to do it for money. Besides, entering into a "business" relationship with friends or family often ends badly.

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Originally Posted by Skratchie (Post 6750265)

I have made some quilts on commission. I don't mind doing it, if it's fabric I love and for someone I know. I only ever had one bad experience - a baby quilt I made ages ago for a woman who was an "internet friend" wanted it made for a friend of hers. She did pay for the materials, but she complained the entire time about how long it was taking. I told her it wouldn't be fast because a) I was a new quilter; b) I was a single mom and c) I held a very demanding full time job and went to school. Still, it only took a couple of months and I thought it turned out just beautifully. Of course, when she received it, she loved it and apologized profusely, but that didn't repair the damage she did to my reputation by bitching about me on the forum board where we both participated. The recipient of the quilt loved it so much she wouldn't use it. /sigh It was "too beautiful for a baby to mess up."

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The Internet is a great way of connecting with (not so much as actual meeting) people. I have done business transactions with people online. I never considered them “friends” beyond in a simple superficial way. This is what I believe is the challenge of the 21st century. Placing “familiarity” in it’s proper place with “real” people that are a part of your day-to-day life in the real world, not anonymous bytes.

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Originally Posted by jaly3162 (Post 6751383)

Here is my story: I quilt as a hobby. My son's friend wanted me to his a California king size quilt for him. He picked the pattern and he "OKed" the fabric. Of course, I bought quilting store fabric because he was paying me to make this quilt. I make sure I did a good job and had it quilted. Never got a dime and not even a "thank you" card or phone call. NEVER again will I make a quilt for pay.

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Originally Posted by wolph33 (Post 6751723)

I quilt because I enjoy it,try to sell a few,but only give to family.My daughter had a friend call her up and asked for a quilt for free for a camping cabin so she would not have to taker her good blanket there-I was so insulted for my daughter-she said no.I think a home made quilt is way better than any store bought blanket anyway.

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Here is a no better examples of how the average person feels what a quilt is-even lower than even a plain jane store bought blanket.

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Originally Posted by kyquiltlover1942 (Post 6751056)

I was asked by the girl that has been cutting my hair for 25 years, to hem some pants for her. I told her it would be $15. a pair. She thought that was way too much. I then explained that she spends about 15 minutes trimming my hair for $25. and she wanted me to spend over an hour for less that. She has never asked again.

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This is how I personally deal with the usual requests of sewing/mending/quilting-usually for free, although sometimes for promised, usually never paid, money-for anybody. I encourage them to purchase a already-made quilt of their choice from the various online selling websites for quilts and similar handcrafts. When they see how much these women (even a few men) charge for their quilts, they don’t bother me again. None of these selfsame something-for-nothing-bargain-grubby people has ever bought these products online, that is for sure. And I don’t mend for anyone-even for myself-as I absolutely hate doing it unless the mending will extend the life of a given sewing product or custom-fit the garment to my own physical body in order to help me make my own ends meet.

As for mending, dressmaking, and tailoring, I did that professionally many years ago in sample rooms. It was just horrible that I was only paid the minimum wage of that time for well sewn products that were ooohed and awwwed over-and used- by the well-to-do and wealthy of my city. I cannot work at far less than a living wage level and allowing others to take full advantage of me ever again. No one in her or his right mind would do so. You be surprised how miserably low women (and even some men) are paid for their hard honest needlework even today. I guess that is a why so much of the fabric and fashion industry-including even quilting-has been exported to some far off shore somewhere in the world. There are people who are willing to do it for just pennies in those places.

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Originally Posted by Bneighbor (Post 6752721)

I have several high end machines, including a 10 needle embroidery machine. I purchased it because I wanted it, not to go into business. As soon as people (family mostly)found out I had it they started asking about embroidered jackets and hats and such with names and designs that show off THEIR hobby. I tell them I am not in business, nor do I want to be. They ask why I got it? Reason? Because I WANTED ONE. I always get the "but the extra money will help pay off your machine". Sorry sweetie, they all were paid for when they left the store. "Well, we ARE family, so you are still going to do them, right?" Uh, no.

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Originally Posted by Sewnoma (Post 6752820)

I very rarely post on (or read) Facebook, but last year I won a 4th place ribbon at the county fair for one of my quilts and I was really proud of it, so I went ahead & posted about it.

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That’s the spirit!