This is JUST a hobby
 

I wonder if there is an invisible sign on my roof that says I'm in the sewing business. I've sewn for years and I have had people calling me and out of no where asking me to mend, create, and even alter prom and bridal. I have done some for special people but have ceased to do that except for family. Two years ago when I retired I started quilting. I love my new hobby and the creativity it affords me. Now I am getting calls to make quilts. REALLY? I have to tell people NO...you can't afford me. Quilting takes time and how can you even begin to calculate? I make quilts for my grandchildren and people I love because I want to. I struggle with the "no" word because I care. I just can't get myself into that scene again. I need to learn to say NO and not feel guilty.

You are right when you say they can not afford you. People think you can make them a quilt for what one at a discount store would cost. pennies

I have learned the best way to cut these people off is by saying: "I would love to teach you to make the quilt. It will be a lot of fun for both of us." With this, it has been the last I've heard of making a quilt for them.

I have had that problem as well. I have found if I tell them how much I have invested in fabric, batting and quilting before even considering anything for my time they seem to lose interest. I donate quilts for local fund raisers, so if they want to take a chance on one that way....go for it!!

Word must be out about what great work you do--just take these requests as complements. Like GemState, I have found that if I explain the costs and time involved and that I wouldn't consider making a quilt for less than $1,000, this ends the discussion pretty fast!

Yep, I got the same thing here! People think if you got a sewing machine you can do anything. They think you have nothing else to do with your time. I used to help them, but anymore I just say "no". Sometimes it is a close friend or family member so I usually give in. I know when I retire I could be bombarded with this, if I dont stand my ground. I tell everyone i dont have a shingle out for this!

Learn to say NO NO NO . Do not feel guilty !! Then go quilt.

I learned to say no a long time ago. Because I don't want to, that's why.

I used to have a hard time about feeling guilty when I say no, but I've learned to deal with that and it's not so much a problem anymore. I love making quilts for people I want to make quilts for.... the rest can learn to quilt if they want one. Like GailG I've offered to teach a few people and 2 took me up on it. One is still quilting.... one is not. At least they know what goes into the process now.

Once you finally say No, it gets easier. So give it a try.

That is a great idea!! I tell people that I just make quilts for charity (which is true) and I sell the mug rugs if they are interesting in just spending $8.00,

I feel the same way about quilting - this is MY thing and I'm not going to turn it into something I do for other people. It sort of already is about other people, since I usually make a quilt for a specific person, but it's at MY discretion.

Depending on the person asking, I'll usually just say no and explain why; but if I don't think the person will understand (or to save time) I will go the route of quoting an astronomical amount and then suggesting they check etsy if they'd like a custom quilt made for a lot cheaper.

Somehow nobody has taken me up on my offer! It's working!

It takes all the fun out of a hobby to do it for money. Besides, entering into a "business" relationship with friends or family often ends badly.

I had an internet friend I considered "close." I had a new book of patterns of various breeds of dogs, and I offered to make a wall hanging for her featuring her breed. She took me up on my offer...but wanted me to make the wall hanging for a friend of *hers,* that I didn't even know. Huh? Though that totally hadn't been the point, I didn't have a spine and reluctantly gave in to her, "But you'd be making a wall hanging anyway," and agreed to do it. Now it became more a commission piece (that I was doing for free), with my friend dictating the colors, the styles, critiquing my work (she was not a quilter)--I finished it and sent it off to her, but our friendship didn't survive. Once she received it, oohed and ahhed over it appropriately, and told me how much her friend loved it...I never heard from her again.

I make a quilt for our club's annual party, and without fail someone asks me how much I charge, would I make them one...I don't even get into prices; I just say, "This is a hobby for me; doing commissions takes the fun out of it." (Though my buddies do eventually get one!)

--Q

Take them shopping with you they will change their tune quickly. I did get rooked into making a table runner for a neighbor by a barter of some Great fabrics. I really made out well on that deal.

Over the years I've had family members and friends tell me I should "sell all the different things I make". They mean well but I am not interested in selling. I am a giver and/or I keep what I make! I make quilts, or knit or do counted cross stitch things just to name a few for my own enjoyment. I would not enjoy making something for hire. It's just not me.

I don't have a problem saying no. In a nice way of course!

I would do the same thing you're doing in telling others no. Right behind that "no", however, would be an offer to help that person make the quilt they want. You'd find out right away who was truly interested in a finished quilt and who wasn't.

Turning your hobby into a job is a fast way of losing all interest in your hobby.

I usually just laugh and go, Oh No, it's too expensive. They usually back off then. But for family that wants a quilt and I genuinely don't mind making them one, I say go buy a yard of fabric in the colors that you absolutely love and send it to me and I'll make a quilt out of those colors. To date, I've never received a yard of fabric. It's too much trouble for them to buy a yard but they don't mind if I spend months and my money making something for them. It makes it easier to say no the next time.

I have used that method for years. It works really well. I also have learned to say "I'm so busy I don't have time to finish the projects I want to do, much less sew for anyone else" or the one that usually clinches things "I have projects lined up the next 6 months. I MIGHT be able to squeeze you in after that, but I can't promise"

When I quit hairdressing, I quit! I only cut my hair and DH hair. Relatives would ask me to cut theirs. I told them to make an appt. They thought it was ok to show up anytime because we're "family". They thought family discount meant 100%. I never got a discount of any kind from them. When I started making quilts "family" wanted to start placing orders. It was really easy and "fun" to say "no". I just said I'm not taking orders. My kids and gks don't know what they're getting for Christmas, but that is the only family who will begin getting quilts and I know they will love and appreciate. They have told others I don't take orders. Besides it is something you do on your own time when you want to. If and when I donate a quilt the only label I put on a quilt is the date, and place, maybe.

I don't mind saying no at all to anything I don't want to do but I like to kill with kindness sometimes. I tell the person I will make the quilt but you have to go with me to buy the fabric, pattern of my skill level, and thread. I only use quality quilt shop fabric when I make a quilt for hire so meet me here: name of quilt shop. I also say I charge 4 times the cost of supplies as my labor charge. This cost does not include quilting the quilt. I will have another person do the quilting, you will pay their fee, and I will bind it. Usually if the person makes the appointment by the time she sees the cost and how much fabric is needed plus the backing I get the UH I really can't make up my mind, I'll have to think about it and I never hear about the quilt again. Anyone mentions tee shirt quilt to me I say NO, can't help, won't help. But know someone that takes orders. LOL

I need a $400.00 "deposit" first. $600.00 balance due upon completion. Wink wink.

I was asked about the purse I made for me. I replied that I had 8 hours of labor invested in It. "Never mind"! Was the response! They "got it".

sandy

I have made some quilts on commission. I don't mind doing it, if it's fabric I love and for someone I know. I only ever had one bad experience - a baby quilt I made ages ago for a woman who was an "internet friend" wanted it made for a friend of hers. She did pay for the materials, but she complained the entire time about how long it was taking. I told her it wouldn't be fast because a) I was a new quilter; b) I was a single mom and c) I held a very demanding full time job and went to school. Still, it only took a couple of months and I thought it turned out just beautifully. Of course, when she received it, she loved it and apologized profusely, but that didn't repair the damage she did to my reputation by bitching about me on the forum board where we both participated. The recipient of the quilt loved it so much she wouldn't use it. /sigh It was "too beautiful for a baby to mess up." :mad:

I've done a few more since then, but only for people I know and those I KNOW will love the quilt, like the one I'm making now for my husband's best friend. He commissioned it as a gift for his wife's birthday, and I'm only charging him for the fabric. I have one other I'm making for a former co-worker that wants to give it to her brother for Christmas, and she taught me everything I know about the field I'm in, so I don't mind doing it - and it's a fabric I REALLY wanted to work with. LOL But there's nothing wrong with saying No. I do it way more than someone might think!

Tell folks you only quilt for family and there isn't enough money to pay you for your time. Now try this : put your tongue o the top of your mouth and go nnnnn now at an o!!practice 10 minutes per day. My husband had to learn that! LO

I'm glad you learned to say no. Keep practicing and don't give in. Once you stop treating it as the hobby it is it becomes a job and you're retired so no more jobs!

You think you have a sign. I live half the year in Costa Rica and I get calls looking for the seamstress! In Spanish, no less. So the sign must be universal :)

You're retired. Period. That's the time to do what YOU want, not what others want you to do. You've done what others wanted all your life. Now it's your turn. Enjoy doing what you want guilt free! You've already given! You're paid up! (It's my motto these days.)

My grandmother used to say to those who asked, "I never sell my quilts. I give them to those I love."

I was asked by the girl that has been cutting my hair for 25 years, to hem some pants for her. I told her it would be $15. a pair. She thought that was way too much. I then explained that she spends about 15 minutes trimming my hair for $25. and she wanted me to spend over an hour for less that. She has never asked again.

They think because you sew, you can fix anything. I say "asking a quilter to alter clothes is like asking Picasso to paint your garage". I then recommend two of my friends that do that for money.

I think having a sewing machine is liking having a pickup truck. It is "odd" enough that it gets on everyone's radar.

And... they remember you!

If you own a truck, you can be sure to get a call when it's time to move somebody - as if it is so fun that you want to take your truck out and run it around the city with a bunch of junk in the back.

Sewing machine = same thing. They think you must have so much fun hemming pants or fixing drapes!

After all, any time spent in your truck or at your machine must be enjoyable for you, right, or you wouldn't own it?

lol

Well played!

(and I'm an esthetician - so I "get" it)

I had my car fixed last week. My son has a friend that works at a dealership who got me hooked up with a mechanic who likes to take a little work on the side.

Had the repair been done at the dealership during normal hours - it would have been about an $800 repair. The guy doing it on the side only wanted $200. I still gave him $300 - and when he asked "Are you sure?!?!" - I said "Yes! As long as the next time I need you, you will say "yes" again!"

The prob with sewing is that everyone thinks we like to do anything that has the machine involved - and they don't appreciate how much time or money went into buying equipment, etc.

Ha, that ought to do it!

I hear ya! I, too, just start calculating cost of making a quilt, and funny thing is when I get to yardage for the back their eyes get big and I lose em! Quite funny! My sister wanted a queen quilt for her bed and it was a complicated pattern, I debated, until she said it was going under her bedspread that matched her curtains! Told her to go Kohls and buy a blanket, use her coupon! She does have a couple quilts and lots of runners etc.
I've told a few that my Babylocks are for quilting, they don't mend! And they went, oh, ok. (Duh)
I say no quite well now, didn't use to!
Bev

My family has learned not to ask me to mend or repair any item of clothing. It disappears in my sewing room and may materialize years later or it may not. It will never return repaired. lol I have never had a problem saying no.

Tell them you retired so you could do something fun and special things for your family. I tell them I have 60 members in our own family and I am going to make quilts for them ALL before I do anything for anyone else. When they think about being at the end of that line I don't hear from them again.

My sister just went through this last week. She made a king sized Trip Around the World with a wolf panel in the center. When someone saw it, they instantly wanted her to make them another. This thing took several months, as my sister works and does not have a whole lot of time. She quoted the person $1,000.00. That put an end to it.

As someone else said, once you have been able to say no, it gets easier to say it again.

Just tell them you have so many projects lined up that have to
be done, you don't have time :p

I really do enjoy mending! It puts something back into use that would otherwise go into the garbage. If I get something to mend from family, I may tell them that it might take a while. But then it is in my sewing room, and I can always see it, so I would like to get this out of here, so I do it right now. It's fun to get it done and back to the owner. The thing that took the longest to do was my grandson's snowmobile glove. He brought it in January, but had had shoulder surgery, so would not be using it until next year. I fixed it in April just because I wanted it gone.