Is my idea too selfish?
 

I will start this by saying I am a grandmother, who just recently lost her grandmother. (Yes, that is 5 generations) This is the grandmother who taught me to sew, and to love fabric. My aunt called today when she returned from Montana, where she had to go clean out grandma's house, to tell me she found a big brown paper bag full of squares that grandma had cut and set aside to send to me, but had never taken it to the mail for whatever reason. (Grandma would send me her scraps, cut into squares, for me to use in charity quilts.) My aunt has the scraps at her home in WA for me. Yippee!

This is where the selfish comes in. All of the other scraps have gone into charity quilts, but I want to use these scraps to make myself a lap quilt and to make other gifts for her other grandchildren, as a remembrance. Do you think it would be wrong to use her "charity" scraps this way? I am really torn and would love to hear your thoughts on this.

I think she would be pleased that you wanted to keep these in her memory. I do not feel that this is selfish of you.

I don't think it is selfish at all. I think it is very kind of you to make gifts for her grandchildren as a remembrance of her. I can't imagine she would mind if you made a quilt for yourself in her memory. I think she would be honored and touched. I am sorry for your loss of this special lady.

Not at all selfish. You and other family members should hold onto those fabric memories of your grandmother.

I don't think it's selfish at all, but I can understand why you have twinges of guilt - I probably would too. It's a funny old thing.

I don't think you need to, but if it helps you, make another quilt from your own stash for charity and label it, 'In Memory Of.........'

Or if you don't have the time, you could give a small donation to a charity she would like, as she was clearly a charitable woman.

If I were you I could not bear to give away the last box of scraps from my grandmother to someone who couldn't care less about the sentimental meaning of the fabric. I would take your grandmother's fabric and make something for yourself and your family who would understand and cherish the meaning behind the fabric. If you're really feeling guilty about having fewer charity quilts to give then use some of your fabric to make some charity quilts but I don't think that's really necessary.

Your grandmother obviously loved you very much and showed it by teaching you to sew and sending her scraps to you. As a grandmother myself, I feel that she would love that you want to keep a remembrance of her, as well as share with her other grandchildren. Put your mind at rest, you know she loved you.
You will cherish your quilt always and it will be a little piece of her that you can hold on to.

First I want to say that you are not being selfish. Make your quilt and the gifts for the others. Name your quilt Grandmother's Legacy and offer to teach any of the others how to quilt. Your Grandmother passed along her talent and love of quilting to you. Now it is your turn to pass that along to another generation. To me this is a way to use her last package to you and pass along what she has already passed along to you.

Scraps is not a dirty word.Just fabric in small pieces.....Who is going to know ?

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your grandchildren will cherish the items made from these scraps as no one else could. They are special to you, and you should embrace them as a special gift from your dear grandmother to you. Have no guilt! You've both given so much to others through the years -- her with her scraps and you with your charity quilting -- that you both deserve to enjoy this last bit of scraps as a gift of love and memories between the two of you.

Maybe there was a reason why your grandmother never mailed this last box to you. You would have probably already made the blocks into a donation quilt and passed it on; now, however, you have her last box and have this opportunity to make something for you to cherish and remember what a lovely person she was. IMHO I feel she would want you to keep these blocks for yourself and her loved ones.

I think things happen for a reason. Maybe she never got around to mailing them because you were meant to keep them :)

Not at all selfish. I think Auntie V has it right. Cherish that last box of blocks. I would love to have something my grandmother pieced.

i agree with the others... not selfish. making remembrance quilts is an unselfish act. if you still feel conflicted, use some of your stash that would not normally be for charity quilts to 'replace' her scraps... then her intentions to make charity quilts will still be satisfied.

No. This is the last thing you will ever have that she made for you, she would be happy that you made it into something for yourself. The circumstances changed. Enjoy.

I too don't think this is selfish of you. You are going to make something for your grand kids. My Grandmother taught me how to play solitaire and sew. She was not a quilter but her half sister was and she showed me her passion for quilting.

I agree with everyone else. Not a selfish thing at all. She left you an opportunity to remember her, so do that!

This was a gift from your grandmother to you so it is right to cherish it and pass it on to your grandchildren after you have enjoyed it for years. Absolutely not intended to give away to strangers. You do so much already, your deserve to keep this and feel close to the person who wanted you to have it!

Not selfish at all! This was probably meant to be a gift to you from Grandma...
I have been cleaning out my Aunt's home for the last year....I find a treasure almost every time I work there.

As the others have said...no, not selfish at all. I think it's very sweet.

It would have never occurred to me to think I was selfish about something like that. If the scraps are all you have of your grandmother's quilts then I would have never given any of them away at all.

I think it's a wonderful idea!

Don't even fret about it. Keep the scraps and make a quilt for you and grand kids. They are needed there now.

Well said!

You are not being selfish at all! This last batch of fabric will have much more meaning to you and your family, keep them and make them into wonderful memory quilts of your grandmother. If you still feel guilty (which I don't think you should!), go out and buy some other fabric and make an equal number of charity quilts and donate them in your grandmother's memory!

The scraps are yours a lovely gift from someone you love. As they are the last ones you are going to receive I say make yourself and those she loved gifts from the heart. Enjoy making them keeping and giving them guilt free.

I think she would be thrilled to know how much you value the "gifts" she sent you! These will be the last ones, so you deserve to keep these in memory of her and all the work you've done with the others.

Doesn't charity begin at home? Be kind to yourself and your family. You're all grieving.

I don't think it's selfish at all. It would be a wonderful keepsake for you. Plus, if you don't and all of the fabric is gone, you will regret not having anything that was hers.

First let me extend my condolences for the loss of your grandmother. I don't think it would be selfish of you at all to make something for your family. That being said, since your aunt is making sure you get the scraps maybe you might want to make her something also to let her know you appreciate what she had to go through also. She did go clean the house and I'm betting it wasn't easy. Maybe a lap or throw quilt or even a wall-hanging!

Oh - you sound like me - confusing loyalty with reality!

Imagine you're sitting down next to Grandma and you say to her...these are the last of your fabric scraps and I know we have always designated them for charity....but would you mind if I made some mementos for myself and the other grandchildren? WHAT do you think her reply would be?

I agree with CookyIN. Keeping a lapquilt from these squares is a selfless act. Your Grandma put love in that box too or she would not have saved it for you. This is the most special box in the world. No, selfish is not a word that fits in here in all. Rather, choose words like precious, priceless, and treasure. If it were me, I would keep the squares, making some into a quilt, and keeping the others to simply pet and touch and know my Grandma had once held them also. What a moment I would treasure. Enjoy.

Not only would I use the scraps as you are suggesting, I would also be asking the aunt if there is more fabric or other scraps, cut or uncut, that you could have.

I don't think it is selfish one bit!!!

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*** No it is not selfish.
*** She would be very proud that you want to remember her that way .
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Thank you so much for the kind words of all of you. I have decided that when I get the scraps I am going to make lap quilts by using some scraps and some stash, so there is enough to share with everybody. I figure I will just separate the scraps by colors, and make the rest of the lap quilt in coordinating colors. I got a lot of work coming at me. Good thing I love doing it, huh?

And keep some for yourself too, and keep her with you. I would love to know that my scraps are being used and remembered by my family.

It is not selfish at all.
peace

Very well-said! I am also a grandmother who just a few months ago lost her grandmother. If it were me, I would be honored if my granddaughter wanted to make a quilt for herself of fabrics I left behind.

This was your Grandma. You MUST keep at least some of them for yourself. If you are making a great deal of charity quilts, you are a warm and loving person. You do not have to give everything away. Try dividing them into, say, thirds, and keep one third for you.