Quilt or Not to Quilt? That is the question
 

So a friend of mine that I went to high school with is getting ready to graduate from nursing school. We weren't close in high school, but have been friends through facebook for several years. She helped care for my grandfather- preparing meals, getting meds prepared and administered while my parents were trying to get him into a nursing home (she was paid for her time). And then a couple of years later, her mother passed away. I was not privy to all the nitty gritty details, but she contacted me to vent a couple of times. She has sent a few cards at Christmas etc...I happen to live almost 800 miles away from her. I had the passing thought that maybe I should make a lap quilt for her graduation but then I thought that since I"m not THAT close to her, maybe I shouldn't. I do have several quilts in progress (don't we all?!?) that I would need to work around. I do have until May to figure it out since that's when she graduates. Any thoughts on quilt gifting?

well yes, I think it would be a nice idea and appreciated too. She probably doesn't get thoughtful gifts often, so I say go for it!

I'm always in favor of following a generous instinct when possible. Only you can decide if you have the time to make this quilt, but I have no doubt that your friend would appreciate it (or a pillow, or a pillowcase,...) if you are able to make it for her.

It is always nice to gift a quilt. I'm sure she'd be touched and appreciative.

It doesn't have to be fancy. Warm Wishes or a Jelly Roll Race.

if you are feeling like a quilt is too much in such a short time, etc, maybe a tote bag that closes at the top? Most nurses will carry other items to work, like shoes, or sweater, etc. There are several cute patterns out there that use a jelly roll and are pretty easy. one in the BLock magazine from a year or two ago comes to mind.

I'd say do it. I made a very simple quilt for the woman who was our receptionist when she retired. I was really surprised at her reaction. She was ecstatic. I gave it to her at her party and she even came back to my office before she left to thank me again. I think think your friend would really like it.

I agree that if you have the time to get one done, pick a simple pattern and go for it. You never know how she might respond but it would most certainly be positive. Or as others mentioned even a tote bag or something would be nice. Most of all don't stress about making anything if you really don't want to, she'll never know you entertained the idea lol.

Giving her a handmade gift would be a lovely thing to do. A lap quilt would be nice, but even a table runner or bed runner would be a nice way to honor her achievement. as minibarn mentioned -- don't stress.

The only speedbump I can see in a situation like this is one that happened to me - I gave a lovely gift to someone I knew casually, but it made her feel like she owed me. The relationship got awkward after that, and eventually fizzled.

You'd have to be the judge of your own relationship with this woman, but other than that, I say go for it! Maybe, unlike my relationship, yours will grow closer.

I am not going to be much help - because it is really up to you to decide. If she is still in contact with your parents and she is achieving a long time goal, it would be a nice gesture to make her a quilt. Otherwise, if she is a friend then a card would suffice.

You can never know ahead of time what emotion your thoughtfulness is going to evoke. If your heart says to be generous, then be generous. You are not responsible for the outcome. But, as I read your post, I think that there has to be some reason for her reaching out to you from time to time. If you can't feel gracious as opposed to obligated, don't do it. She will never know your dither kind of feelings.

Many of us make quilts to donate and don't have any idea who those go to so I think it would be very kind of you to send a quilt to her.

I never thought of it this way but that is an excellent point! I will remember this next time I hesitate to give a quilt as a gift.

Throughout my life I have found that the fleeting thought is best followed through.

How about a set of quilted mug rugs? It is the thought behind it and where you aren't all that close a small item shows just as much appreciation. They work up faster and won't interfere with your bigger projects. I think it is a wonderful idea and shows you care and want to show appreciation and a congratulations on her graduation. please share what you decide to do.

Kindness is always in good taste.

I don't know about you girls, but ... Since I am older it is getting harder and harder to find a great friend who you can share interests with and tell all of your secrets to, have a good laugh and just rely on. If your friendship is a good one, why not give her something nice to snuggle with? I have never gifted a quilt that I had giver's remorse about. But, there were a couple I thought about that haunt me that I didn't. And now it is too late to give any sweet comfort.

It takes a special kind of person to be a nurse. They have a big heart & give their "all" everyday. ( Most of them anyways) If it was me I would make her a lap quilt or one of the other thoughtful gifts mentioned if you have time to do it. I'm sure she will just love it. Whatever your decision, it will be the right decision for you & your circumstances. No right & no wrong! lol

Love this response. I gifted a quilt to my aunt whom I hadn't seen but had corresponded with at Christmas. It was the beginning of a wonderful close relationship for the remainder of her days. I always try and err on the generous side.

Follow your heart, you've been thinking about her and she has been thinking about you over the years. Maybe a renewed friendship is in the works.

If your heart wants to gift her a quilt, follow your heart. Choose from your stash and try a new pattern you have been wanting to try and go for it. You will know that you took the time to thank her and reach out to her with a gift from your heart to hers.

The question is niggling at you so your heart is telling you to do it. It's the brain that is pulling the brake.
I'd say let the heart rule.

Follow your heart.....give heart a quilt

Quilts are both expensive and labor intensive. It does not sound like you are close enough to her to warrant a quilt. Maybe pot holders or a table runner if you do anything? If not just send a card with warm wishes!

I too agree; go with your first instinct and send her one; she'll appreciate it.

Something similar happened to me. There is something very wrong about that kind of thinking. She should just accept the gift and say "Thank you."

I enjoy gifting quilts to whomever they seem supposed to go to. Some stay UFOs forever it seems like and then a particular person comes to mind that becomes the recipient and it/they get finished and I'm amazed at how much gratitude is expressed. One in particular every time I see the person or her mom I get told how much she loves it.
Go with your feelings. What you choose to make - quilt, wall hanging, table runner, tote bag or something else - will be appreciated and might well draw the two of you closer in friendship.

I agree. I gave a quilt to an elderly neighbor and I saw the light in her eyes. She was happy to receive it. Two months later she passed away. I'm glad I did it. It warmed my heart.

I think the tote would be the perfect gift because like you mentioned, they carry things to work everyday. Maybe look for a special fabric for the outside and that will make it more special.

I would say go for it, after all you did go to high school together and have been in touch at times since. Graduating nursing school is major. My son spent 6 years going part time weekends and working a full time job with a 3 hour daily commute. He did quit his job the last year to concentrate on graduating, but also was renovating their kitchen as well. We couldn't be prouder of him, he has a lovely wife and adorable 6 year old DGD, who is the light of our lives. He just started his first full-time nursing job last month. Nursing school is not easy and I'm sure your friend would be thrilled to have a quilt - there are some cute "nursing" type fabrics out there, as well as other beautiful fabrics.

Great idea for a working woman.

I like the idea of a tote, too. And wouldn't it be great if there was a matching insulated bag tucked inside, for her lunch?

Graduating nursing school is a HUGE accomplishment. And you said she helped your parents care for your grandfather, even tho she was paid. I think giving a quilt to an old friend who has shown kindness to your family is appropriate. Why not? And follow your first instinct and make a quilt. Don't downgrade your idea into something smaller! Go ahead and make her a quilt... and be sure and post a picture here, before you send it off, so we can oooh and ahhh. :o

Equilter.com has a beautiful nursing panel that will fit the theme. I say go for it and follow your heart. This panel would whip up quite quickly. She will be quite pleased.

Thank you all for your input! I will need to decide on fabric to use. She likes all shades of pink. Would doing something with nurse fabric be too kitschy?

I love quilts and enjoy gifting them to family and close friends. However, since you indicated you were not that close to this person, I would not gift her with a quilt because a quilt is both time consuming and costly to make. I would acknowledge her achievement but with something other than a quilt.