Quilting almost Exclusively for Charity?
 

I've got plenty of people in my family to quilt for, but I seem more drawn to quilting for charity. Why is that? I wonder if I'm afraid that my efforts may not be appreciated by those I know, and it would hurt fo find out? Somehow I have this notion that every charity quilt is appreciated, but that might not be the case either.

I guess I DO know why I'm reluctant to sew for family. My mom put a quilt that I made (wall hanging) in a closet after I gave it it her even though she ooh'ed and aah'ed over it). I never saw it again but have been afraid to ask her where it is or why she never displayed it. Another time I made a quilted pillow case (decorative) for my adult daughter and she loved it--but only for 2 months, then gave it to Goodwill. I know I should give without expecting my creation to be used by my family .

Anyone else feel very hesitant to make anything for any family member, and prefer to give away everything you quilt to charity?

I like giving when there are no expectations. I like receiving when there are no expectations.

I rarely make for family as they would say thank you when receiving it then squirrel it away before eventually getting rid. I feel that after hours of work love and frustration and money I've put into the quilt I am upset to think it is trashed.

When you quilt for charity, you honestly don't know what has happened to your quilts. Maybe the lack of knowledge and lack of ability to know is comforting to you. You have no idea if the recipient also dumped your quilt after 2 weeks, or began using it as a floor mop in a week.

I make simple quilts for charity because I don't want to spend a lot of time on them because I don't know what is going to happen to them. I do know that people who generally "get a lot given to them" often have a very "easy come/easy go" mentality. Don't assume that somehow they appreciate them more than your own family. They may, or may not.

No flames necessary. We have a charitable organization here in Poland and these things are first-hand observations.

But as to your family, is there anyone else in your family who might want a quilt? They might like one--just ask first. I make no assumptions when it comes to family wanting quilts--they need to request a certain quilt if they are going to get one.

Same here. I do not make quilts for family or friend.... if they really like one that I have made, they get it.... I keep my quilts to be choosen by someone ...

This is how my aunt got one, and one of my friend did also.... my SIL asked me to do one for her, in specific colors. When I told her how much it would probably cost me to buy the fabric in the colors she liked and that I would charge her the cost for buying it, her answer was: "there is no price too high for what a quilt is worth"

so I am finishing her quilt and I will make her pay for the extra fabric I had to buy (not the batting or thread or what ever, but just the fabric I did not have).

And in the back, I printed some of her family pictures... She was in shock when I showed her while I was making it.... I know, they will not dare giving it away (with twelve pictures of their children and grand children on the back loll) If they don't use it then it becomes their solution.... they are known to have given and even sell a few things that I had given them over the last 50 years... and I only a one brother and their three daughters and five grandchildren.

Honestly, I realized that I don't like making a quilt "on request" because I am not sure that this is what they pictured in their mind when they asked me to make it.
My next steps will be to make large lap quilts from my small stash with a pattern I want to try and wait for it to find "a home" ... even if it is to give it to charity

That being said, I only do one or two quilts a year.

I have family that do want and appreciate my quilts. I rarely make specific requests. They just get to choose from what I have already made. I guess that means lucky me 😀

Oh DebraK, I could NOT have said it any better. I don't have any family left but enjoy making items for my friends and mostly do enjoy making charity quilts. My focus has been on Foster kids who have very little of their own stuff in their world. I do it anonymously but hope I bring some joy that they know someone in this world DOES care about them.

If she has it in the closet, don't let it bother you. She may just be wanting to keep it clean. My mother didn't appreciate my artist ability when I was bringing ribbons home from quilt shows. Just make them for the family members that will appreciate your hard work or when they may hint or request something.

Well said! I have 2 comments:1) as Debra said, giving with no expectations is great, which is probably why you like giving to charities. 2) Hope I don't make any enemies here, but my 2 cent comment is NEVER give a home dec item, like a wall hanging or pillow, unless expressly requested by the recipient. You may love it, they may love it, but if they think it doesn't go with their décor, it won't be used. A throw or bedquilt may not be put on display, but when it's cold enough, it will be used!

I usually just have quilts hanging around my house. When someone comments positively about one, it has just found it's new home.

My quilts are serendipity to the recipients. They don't ever know I am making them one or when they will receive it. I frequently start out making a quilt and it "talks" to tell me where it wants to go. I have relatives who don't give me the time of day who have received a quilt and have oohhed and ahhhed over it. I also have quilts I have made for a particular person that have gone to community quilts because I know they won't appreciate it.

I, also, usually don't quilt for my family. I will do doll quilts for my sweet granddaughter, but I would rather not know that others in the family don't care enough to use or display the quilts I give them. I usually plan on giving all my completed quilts to charity.

Susan

Couple quilts I made for showers went to the dogs when whelping bedding was needed. My sons and DGDs saw photos of it. They asked who made the bedding. When they found out I did it, they let the recipients know about how they thought it was disrespectful. I just found this out within the last week. It has motivated me to get started on my family. Tears through the smiles and loving my family all the more. DH and I are working on couple charity whole cloth. He likes the Sharon Shamberg method of basting. Who'da thought?

I learned a long time ago, relatives only get rag quilts. They think they are awesome, they are easy to make, and I use mostly scraps to make them. The rag quilts end up getting used, not put away or given away. I always tell them this quilt is for sitting on at the pool, picnics, back of cars, play mat. Don't fuss with it, use it.

Gosh, I crocheted a throw for my parents back in the 60s. It still sits folded up on a closet shelf! Guess it will eventually come back to me to figure out what to do with it. I'll probably pass it on to Project Linus since I have plenty of quilts around my house now. Also made a full size lavender and white quilt for my niece--sent to out to be long arm quilted--which she then let her dogs sleep on. It was used up in about 2 years. Now I make simple quilts that fulfill my need to create and work with fabric. Almost all go to Project Linus. I tell myself that they are appreciated!

I mostly quilt for family and friends. Once I gift it I don't worry about it. I make them because I enjoy quilting and love the recipients. You can't control it once it leaves your hands.

Just got off the phone with my sister. Her DGD (my little "protégé") made two small quilts for a friends' little boys. With gma's help she birthed and tied the quilts. These were 40"x40" finished. One was accepted very happily by one mother and boy; he's 18 months old and loves to wrap himself up into a corner and take a nap with it. The other one was rather shruggish and said how cute. Her little one tossed his out the back door and it quickly went to the dog house. Mother of the boy laughed and said Oh well. The mother asked if she could make a better one. "Protégé" said she had no more fabric to "make them another". When my sister told me this, I said, "Karma is not nice is she". Then she remembered about the time I made a quilt and diaper stacker for "Protégé" when she was born. Karma will come back like a boomerang!!

Seriously??? I'm just shaking my head. The gall of some people is truly astonishing. Good on your DGD for recognizing early on when to not waste her precious energy.

I make quilts for new babies in the family. They are personalized as much as possible. and I want them to be used. If they wear out, then the memories will be kept by the pictures of the babies with their quilts. People who appreciate family heritage will cherish their quilts. Others not so much.

I do lots of quilts for charity, and those are simple, but nice. I use materials on hand for them.

By far most of my quilts go to the Bible Camp quilt auction. There, I figure if a person is going to spend money, they must like the quilt. Of course, it may be given by them to someone who doesn't, but that is ok.

I quilt because I love quilting!

I have been happiest giving a quilt when I had the input of the one who was getting it. In each case I told them I would like to make them a quilt, if they wanted one. If they didn't, that was okay too. I let them select the pattern, from 6 or 7 that I said I enjoyed making. I bought the fabric, based on emails back and forth, for three of them.

That worked well, but after that, I left the fabric selection up to the one getting the quilt. Two purchased fabric, based upon the "recipe for a quilt" that I sent them and mailed it to me. (They live many states away.) Four were work friends, and we met for lunch and then headed to the fabric shop where they purchased the fabric and the batting. (I had warned them that making a quilt was not a cheap process. I don't think they believed me until then...)

I think we were all pleased. I knew they would like their quilts and each seemed to enjoy the selection process.

Dina

The 2nd or 3rd quilt I ever made I gave to my mom. I specifically chose fabrics that I thought would be suitable for her house ( I did not have any stash yet). I made the quilt because I had just been bitten by the quilting bug and wanted to quilt. When I gave it to her I told her if she did not like it or want it (she lives in Arizona, not sure if she really has much need for a quilt) to feel free to do whatever she wanted with it. When I was there last spring I did not see it anywhere in her house. It occurred to me then that quilts are just not part of what she would choose to use. Some people have very specific tastes in what they want in their homes. I think that is the case with my mom as she is very into "decorating". She is VERY supportive of my quilting and ooh's and ahh's over the quilts I make, but again, quilts are just not her thing. She did ask me to make my Dad a lap quilt after he had a stroke and needed something besides a hospital blanket :-) I quilt because it is a creative outlet for me; once I give a quilt to someone they can do what they want with it :-)

My family and friends are simply not very interested in quilts.

I remember years back when the Japanese wife of one of my husband's co-workers gifted me with a wall picture she had made. The craft involves carefully cutting up greeting cards and then painstakingly gluing them at different heights to re-create the picture with dimension. I was stunned by the amount of work that went into this picture. However, the nature of the picture (old-fashioned children playing in front of a cottage) was *completely* out-of-keeping with our tastes in home decor (I have to hold my husband back from buying only stainless steel and glass furniture). There was no place I could really place this picture, which held no meaning for anyone in the family. It was really sad, but I ended up donating it.

Given my experience and the understanding that my family members really do not appreciate quilts, I make only quilts that I enjoy making. A lot are currently UFO's. Of the finished ones, some I keep and some I give to charity. I want to leave behind some of my favorite quilts because my bet is that my family members will one day cherish them as memories of me. And I am making a few that can be used for grandchildren some day (assuming I ever have any!).

I think it's fine to make quilts simply for the pleasure of making them, and it's fine to simply make quilts for charity. I'm a big one for *buying* shower and wedding gifts (or giving cash). If someone wants a special quilt for a wedding or new baby, they can ask me. Or, as someone else mentioned, if someone comes over and loves a quilt hanging around in my house, I would consider gifting them with it.

Personally, I don't want to put a lot of creative energy into a quilt or wallhanging only to find it used for a dog bed by the recipient. If that happens, I have to consider that it was *my* mistake to gift them so inappropriately in the first place. If it happens once, okay. It's not going to happen again, and it's not going to happen routinely to me because I'm not going to assume people who don't understand quilts are going to cherish a quilt made by me. I'd rather have my quilts go to auction and be purchased by someone who loves them.

I, spent nearly 200 hours making this intricate dimensional quilt for my niece. I spent so much extra time tacking everything down 3x as much as recommended to make sure the quilt was durable enough for a 12 month old. My SIL decided it was "too pretty" for a child, even though it is a crib quilt. It went straight into the closet. I was beyond heartbroken.

I almost decided not to make a quilt for the little boy they are expecting in February, but I really want all my nieces & nephews to have their own quilt (they are like my children since I don't have any of my own). So, I spent a lot of time asking questions about my brother/SIL's decor for the nursery & searching for quilt designs that would match. I settled on a white whole cloth quilt with a nautical theme (Ships Aweigh by Holice Turnbow). My SIL loves it & has been bragging about it to all her neighbors -- who have in turn asked if they could pay me to make them one. I think the fact that her neighbors have offered to pay me $3500 for a similar quilt has changed her mind about whether to hide quilts in the closet or put them out for all to see. And the fact that I can't imagine any amount of money making it worth it to me to hand quilt more than one of these things makes it all the more special. I really like doing applique, so doing something in white whole cloth is quite a stretch for me. But at least it won't be relegated to a dark closet somewhere as something "too special to use"... hopefully.

I have made quilts for most of the girls in my family. I have told them that they are meant to be snuggled. I tell them to use them until they fall apart. Or, if they don't like them anymore, give them back or donate. They are made to the taste of the recipient, and I know that taste can change.
The quilts that I make for 'no one in particular', are much more enjoyable to make. I can do what ever I want, and not worry if anyone will like it.

After reading this I remember why I don't not make things for others. I'm still working and don't have a great deal of time so I prefer to work on things I like and want. Others often don't appreciate the time, effort and money that goes into quilts. The only things I've made lately were some pillowcases for the DH, my niece and nephew and some friends. They were quick and easy and I wasn't worried about what they did with them.

If you want to make quilts for charity, then do so. It's your money and time and it seems that your family certainly doesn't appreciate any of your "creations". I'm sure that whichever charity/charities that you would make quilts for, would certainly appreciate them.

I only make charity quilts, the family has plenty of quilts; some don't appreciate the work that goes into a quality quilt. I have an inlaw that says she doesn't need any more "blankets", so she won't get any.
Sharon

I made a quilt for my mom and included linen I had from her mom. She loves it and shows it to everyone but refuses to use it. It is too special. ARGH! Now I am working on a small throw for her that is not going to be special and if I hear one word about her being cold - THERE WILL BE WORDS.

My sister recently took the quilt I made her off the bed because it no longer went with the décor (and it really doesn't). I had sent her a wallhanging of a giraffe. She likes it but it doesn't go. So I know that I enjoyed making it and she enjoyed getting it. That's enough.

Some people ask me for quilts but I know how they handle their things and it will be cold day in hell before I give them something hand-made.

My guild has a community service group and I enjoy giving to them as well. Sometimes it's just a batch of blocks, sometimes a top, and sometimes a finished project. These items go to kids who get admitted to local hospitals. We get the sweetest thank you notes from the parents or caregivers - makes my heart happy to know that my work made someone smile.

I don't assume any longer that I know best what people like. If I want to make them a quilt I try to find out (inconspicuously) what they like and even if they like quilts (or hand-made items). If I can find a fit - I make it work. Of not, there are always gift cards.

I guess I am blessed. Most of my quilts go to family. I just made another one for a grandson who wore out his graduation quilt. I love seeing them used and yes, occasionally abused. Like the time I found my grand dog sleeping on one, but was told, Grandma, he loves it because it smells like you. Whadda ya do!

The first quilt I gave away I made for a friends 12 yr old daughter. Went over to their house and the quilt was hung (with large nails) over a large 2nd story window to "keep the sun out." It was many, many years before I made another quilt to give away. The next give away quilt was made recently for a sweet young lady who worked for me and was going away to college. She was so appreciative and happy with the quilt and sent me pictures of it on her bed. It will always be the rare occasion that I make a quilt for someone else since quilting is a way for me to express myself and create.

Like you, i make a lot of charity quilts. There are several reasons.

1) No matter what I make, sooner or later a child, a veteran, a family whose home has burned, etc, will eventually pick it out/get it and love it. Most of the charity quilts that I make go to foster children, in part because my Dad and my maternal grandfather were the equivalent of foster children many years ago. It gives me a little connection to their history and lives. a way to honor them.

2) My grandchildren appreciate their quilts. I have grand nieces and nephews who I plan to make quilts for, but am not actually doing it because I don't get thank you's for the gifts I give them now. I also have grand nieces and nephews who I did make quilts for who truly value their quilts, use them and care for them the best way a kid can.

3) Because I like to!

Please note that I made a quilt for my son and he complained so much about it that I finally said, "Well, give it back to me." His response? "No. If I do you'll never make another one for me!" He appreciated it, but couldn't just come right out and say so! That's the way he is and I long ago accepted that. His heart is almost always in the right place, but sometimes his mouth is not.

At least the dog had both good taste and the good sense to use the quilt! Stories like this make me wonder how some people get along in the world.

I have a niece to whom handmade gifts are accompanied by a memo to return to maker when you no longer want a hand-made gift. She finds the dump more convenient than the local thrift shop.
Don't be shy about asking your mom where the wall hanging is hiding -- maybe it is time for her to redecorate?

Years ago my sister told me she was going to do her sun porch in yellow and blues. I made her a wonderful, quite expensive (to me anyway) large throw quilt in those colors and mailed it to her. Imagine my horror when I went to visit and saw it covering the dog cage. Guess she loved her dog more than the quilt. She passed away last year and I was given the quilt back....it now hangs on my wall. Every time I see it I'm reminded how much she loved her dog and I smile!! Now I quilt for my 3 children and a granddaughter.

I began quilting for the sole purpose of giving them to charity. I needed a creative outlet and wanted a way to "give back". Quilting fills both those needs for me. I like to "think" the quilts are appreciated.

I've only made 2 baby quilts that I gifted. One went to a young lady that I call my "other daughter" and she wrote me a beautiful thank you note. The only quilt I'm working on for "family" is a bargello that will be used at our beach condo. My family has been very complimentary of my charity quilts but I don't plan on making them one unless they ask for one. Heck, I haven't even got a quilt for me to display yet. HA. I was planning to make some mug rugs for a few of them but I just haven't gotten to it yet.

I too, have learned no quilt gifts unless they are requested. A few years ago, 3 neices (all sisters) were expecting 6 weeks of each other. I made each of them lovely baby quilts; and resented them all on Christmas Day. One sister was just tickled and giddy; another was brought to tears; the third never even said 'thank you'. Lesson learned.
I am pleased and actually honored to make a quilt when asked. Otherwise, I make them for Project Linus.

I've been blessed with family who understand quilts (women in my family have been making them for generations). I told my daughter to let me know when she had enough--her reply (with that exasperated look daughters have), "Mom, you can never have too many quilts!"

A few years back, I made a graduation quilt for my niece who fell in love with a raffle quilt that my guild was selling raffle tickets for. I made her the same quilt. When I gifted it to her (and she loved it), my other niece was very disappointed that she did not get one for her graduation gift. Now, I never in a million years would have thought this niece would appreciate a quilt. So, I made her one, too, and announced that I would make a quilt for any family member that wanted one. I now have a list of family quilts that have been requested. I am gradually completing them and know that they will be appreciated.

I make and gift quilts for every new great niece or nephew. I do enjoy the process more, knowing who will be the recipient. I try to tailor to their tastes. This works for me.

I also squeeze in some charity quilts. I tell me family to hope for a snowy winter as I get more quilts finished. I just love to sit and sew looking out the window at the snow.

Well, thank goodness the quilt when on TOP of the dog crate! I would've been horrified, too. But I'm glad that the quilt reminds you of your sister's love for her dog and doesn't bring resentment.