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-   -   She who dies with the most wins! But what about after? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/she-who-dies-most-wins-but-what-about-after-t220542.html)

My time 05-03-2013 07:50 PM

My sincere condolences to you. Losing a dear friend is so sad. The husband who burned most of his wife's stash..sad. It did sound as though he was very angry. Grief is very private and we all deal with it in our own way. Now that being said, reading this post and all what these wonderful quilters do....warms my heart. The other thought I come away with after reading this post is.....I think I need to organize my stash into projects. It's neat and organized, but not organized into what I'd like to do with them. Thanks for posting.

Teddybear Lady 05-03-2013 08:19 PM

So sorry for the loss of your friend. After reading all the posts, I decided I'd better get better organized in case something happens to me. I have lots of fabric and scrapbooking supplies. I'm a "crafty" person so I have all sorts of stuff in my sewing room. I really don't know who would want my fabric, (other than all of you wonderful ladies) haha None of my friends sew. I guess I can write down how to get to this board so my husband can post it on here. haha My sister-in-law can have my scrapbooking stuff. I'm also a member of our local "freecycle" group so he could post it there I guess. I've always been the one to end up with someone's fabric stash when they don't want it any longer. Never really thought about what to do with it at the end of my sewing life.

Grandma Peg 05-03-2013 08:46 PM

So sad and sorry for your loss. When my BFF died we had a little time so she told me who the UFOs were for. Our quilt group each took a few and we were able to get them done. The recipients were so happy. The quilt group knows that if my DIL's want anything they are first but then they get to divide the rest.

IrishgalfromNJ 05-03-2013 11:59 PM

DD is in charge when I go. She won't have anyone else to answer to and can do what she wants with what I leave. No problems with UFOs. I only work on one project at a time.

Nilla 05-04-2013 02:18 AM

This really has me thinking. My youngest DD used to enjoy sewing before she left for college, but hasn't really had time since. She'll graduate soon so maybe she'll get re-interested. I plan to give her an old basic sewing machine once she gets settled into her new home. Meanwhile I think I'll talk with my family about what to do with my stash if anything should happen unexpectedly. I wouldn't want that to be one more burden on them in a time of grief.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Debbie C 05-04-2013 04:29 AM

we can't be so harsh on this poor man. He might have just been so full of sadness at the loss of the love of is life, that he might have felt the need to 'send' her fabrics up with her. We are never in a clear frame of mind after such a tragic loss. He is more to be pitied that he had to suffer such a great loss and was probably completely overwhelmed at what to do with his beloved's massive collection of quilting supplies. I'm just happy that his wife's friend was able to 'rescue' the rest.

Originally Posted by BellaBoo (Post 6040410)
What a creep to have had for a husband. [/COLOR]:thumbdown:


lauriejo 05-04-2013 04:46 AM

Don't forget that unless it is in writing (ie a will) your wishes aren't binding. Add to that, people frequently forget what they are told. It can be especially difficult if the person that was told your wishes isn't the executor of your estate. I think it would be a very painful experience for both people to go to someone who is grieving and tell them they are supposed to give away a loved one's belongings. My dad wouldn't even let us kids touch my mom's things for long time after she died. Then when we did go through her quilting supplies I found a huge pile of signature blocks that were obviously for a swap with her guild. I wish I had known about them and could have finished the swap for her. She was also in the middle of a BOM with her guild, and had I known I might have been able to get the rest of the blocks. For some reason we discussed many of her own projects, but rarely her guild projects. Had she put in her will to contact someone in the guild to finish her commitments, it would have been done. But in my grief it never even entered my mind.

MomtoBostonTerriers 05-04-2013 04:47 AM

churcae, I am so sorry for your loss. What a dear friend you have described, and I know you will miss her for a long time to come.

I just returned home from burying my father. I was the person who cleaned out many of his personal possessions. My father was the most organized person in the world (really!). He had file folders clearly labeled with information about his annuities and death benefits, his will, and funeral and burial information. He had even written his own obituary about 8 years ago. Even with all of this help, it has been a difficult time for our family. Dad was an avid fisherman, and I have no idea what I am going to do with his supplies for tying flies and huge collection of handmade flies.

So, quilting friends, this thread has good advice to all of us to get out "fabric affairs" in order, if for no other reason than to help your family and friends who will grieve your passing. My plan is to use it all up and leave no stash whatsoever. In case that doesn't work out, I am having a talk with my DH so he will know what to do with the contents of my quilting room.

MomtoBostonTerriers 05-04-2013 04:48 AM

churcae, I am so sorry for your loss. What a dear friend you have described, and I know you will miss her for a long time to come.

I just returned home from burying my father. I was the person who cleaned out many of his personal possessions. My father was the most organized person in the world (really!). He had file folders clearly labeled with information about his annuities and death benefits, his will, and funeral and burial information. He had even written his own obituary about 8 years ago. Even with all of this help, it has been a difficult time for our family. Dad was an avid fisherman, and I have no idea what I am going to do with his supplies for tying flies and huge collection of handmade flies.

So, quilting friends, this thread has good advice to all of us to get out "fabric affairs" in order, if for no other reason than to help your family and friends who will grieve your passing. My plan is to use it all up and leave no stash whatsoever. In case that doesn't work out, I am having a talk with my DH so he will know what to do with the contents of my quilting room.

maryfrang 05-04-2013 04:57 AM

A member of my quilt guild died in December last year. Her daughter call and asked if our guild would like all her quilting items and fabric. She also asked if someone could put some blocks together for them. Well we did get lots of everything, and the blocks and a quilt top too. We put the blocks together then I basted them and the quilt top for her sister who hand quilts. (She does not like to sew, just hand quilt). Her quilting items went into our guild's auction and everyone got to share from her. This is where I really hope my stash goes to after my daughter and two daughter in laws picks what they want. Then I know all my quilting nice stuff will be loved too.


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