Something to keep nervous hands busy
 

My stepson is autistic and when he gets nervous, or if there's a loose thread on a shirt or ANYTHING, he will mess with it and fuss with it until he's torn the garment or whatever apart into pieces. When he was younger, my husband said many days he would come home from school in a different shirt than what he wore to school.

He is turning 20 this Sunday, and I am thinking of making some potholder sized squares and then stitching fancy stitches in it and leaving the tails of the thread loose, so he can pick at these when he's nervous - what do you think?

He's been preoccupied with many things lately and obsesses over them, and has started tearing things up again. I've thought about doing this before but just haven't done it, and with his birthday coming up, I thought this might be a good thing to do.

I know one of you out there has autistic children - I would love to hear all of your opinions....

Thanks,
Gina in Kingwood TX

It sounds like a good idea. i don't know about for his birthday though.

I don't have an autistic child but have worked with them when I was in the school system with EC classes.
I do miss those special children. You know your child best so If you think this may help, then I would make then.
What about something crocheted or knitted? Any chance he could us that nervous energy to create something like
weaving those old loom potholders? Maybe he could make one then take it apart? Good luck and God Bless you
and him!

It sounds as if the loose thread makes him nervous, so why provide more loose threads? I understand you're trying to help, but it might just feed his anxiety. I would recommend asking a professional who deals with autism, preferably someone who is seeing your stepson.

My 11 year old grandson is autistic. I do know that you have to do what works for your child, so it sounds like you are on to something! Good luck.

It doesn't make him nervous but is an obsession. I am sure. My DGS has obsessions too. He is autistic and 11.
If this helps your stepson calm himself I think the hotpads with threads to pull out is an excellent idea.

We have to find ways to help them cope with their everyday life. Obsessions are just a part of the package. We learn to channel them so they are manageable and I think you are onto something for your stepson.

fortunately my DGS has left some obsessions behind as in running to whatever catches his attention. And he is no longer obsessed with slides. now he is obsessed with printing off Wiggles pics on You tube and writing stories around them. The laptop and drawing keeps him busy for hours. He is bound and determined to make his own movie! He has always been obessed with movies and tv shows and the behind the scenes info as in what studio makes that program and who the sponsors are and what ads are shown on there. He could one day become a director who knows??

Perhaps I wasn't clear - I want to give him this to pick at instead of his clothes. It's something small enough that he could put in his pocket and take to school discreetly.

how about doing those "tags" that are so popular for babies these days. loops of ribbons and such sewn in the edges.

That would be a very good idea. You could also try this: Sew 2 small squares together like you would if you were making a pillow (felt works well for this). Leave 1 side open and turn to the right side. Tuck about 1/4 of the open side over so you won't have raw edges for the next step. Starting at the open side, sew a curvy line throughout the square. Move over about 7/8 inch or so and sew another curvy line following the path of the line you just sewed. Basically, you are making a track. You can make it as simple or complex as you want. The track should start and end at the open side. Drop a marble into the track. Topstitch the open side closed. Now you have a small "fidget" for your stepson to take with him. To use it, he just moves the marble back and forth along the track. I have seen this work well with many of the autistic kids I work with.

"I've thought about doing this before but just haven't done it,"
There's your answer. You are the mother; you know him better than anyone. If this idea has come to you before, then this time is the confirmation; you really don't need it from us.:) Do it!

Best to you and your son on this journey.
Hugs,
Jan in VA

Great idea for any child who needs to be entertained.

I don't know if this would be of any help, but it possibly could. It is actually a quilt for patients with Alzheimer's, but
maybe making squares with different parts of the quilt for keeping his hands busy.

http://figjamandlimecordial.com/2011...nsory-blanket/

My autistic son is 19 years old. You would not believe what his current fidget item is. Anyway, I think you should try your idea.

My son spent many years with Silly Putty in his hands. It really does help to calm them.

I think it's worth a try. Sure can't hurt and it's very thoughtful of you to think of it. Let us know how it goes!

The loose threads don't make him nervous, the world does and pulling threads is as good a way to deal with it as any. I think you have a good idea. I just wouldn't use so strong a decorative stitch that it won't come undone. That part may be soothing to him.

Hugs to you as you care for him and your family.

You could always try one of these to see if he found it soothing and something with thread also to see if he has a preference.

I had some therapeutic putty ( seemed a lot like Silly Putty to me - different colors had different resistances ) and I LOVED to play with it.

Sounds like a great and very thoughtful idea. Good luck - I hope it works.

Ask his teacher or therapist, they probably have taken data about his picking at things and how it effects his anxiety level. As a speech pathologist, I have seen some behaviors that are soothing and some that increase anxiety. Heavy blankets and clothing are often very soothing, so creating a thick quilt might be a great idea. Good Luck.

I think you have come up with a wonderful idea. go for it!

I have an autistic GS and an autistic great nephew. Is it possible that you could give him a ball of yarn with the end hanging out. Just a thought.

Have you considered worry beads that can be kept in a pocket. So many do use them.

What I'm hearing is that this young man needs something WITH HIM AT ALL TIMES to fiddle with. The little squares sound like a great idea.

I would talk with his "teacher" or other professional that is helping him develop coping skills. Share you ideas that you shared with us and get his or her input. You may have struck on a good idea or you may need to modify it just a bit to me most effective. It all depends on the autistic individual. Your aim is to help and that individual should have ideas of how you can do that.

Having worked for a child psychiatrist for several years, this is the best advice so far IMHO!

I think it is a great idea, but since it is meant to be therapeutic, I agree with most on the board, you should consult a professional, such as his teacher, who works with him. Who knows maybe they are working on him to be less obsessive about this habit and this might just reinforce his old pattern. Best wishes to you and your family.

I agree with Jan in VA .. whatever helps him out ..

My 11-year-old granddaughter is autistic. She has her little spells when she just has to walk, so she goes into another room and walks and talks to herself. When she feels better, she comes out. I think yours sounds like a good idea for him. Do it.

What about having him make some of those tied fleece blankets where you cut in a few inches ever inch all around and tie the ends? Just a thought....I like your idea too for a smaller project.

My son is 21 and he's a pacer and talks to himself. A wonderful man told me once, "Mom, when it's right you'll know it and until then keep searching". Make a square with threads and tell him what it's for and that you'll make as many as he wants. He might even want to help pick the colors. He picks at his clothes because that's what's always avalible to him. This would be a substitute that's ok to pick at. It's about self modification and helping to make good choices. We're still working at it and will for a long time to come and it's ok because we're still making progress.

Maybe he picks at the loose end because it drives him nuts and he can't stand to have the loose thread and he's trying to get rid of it?
(I don't know about him - I just know for myself that a stray dangling thread really bothers me)

Try it. If it works, that will be wonderful, if it doesn't it won't have hurt anything. froggyintexas

I have seen DGS before and don't know what it means. Can someone please tell this dummy?

@ 2 blackcats, it simply means darling grandson.

Having worked with many children with similar problems, I think your idea is great. I also think that keeping one of these "fidget bags" made up and in reserve would be a really good idea. You are a wonderful Mom to this special child. Blessings.
Donna

As a teacher of special needs children, including Autism, I think this is a great idea! In fact, I think I will make some for my classroom! Thanks! You are a thoughtful mom!!!

I know nothing about autistic children, but I wonder if something like the "fiddle" quilts I made for Alzheimer's patients at our local nursing hone might be appropriate. I made a lap quilt out of fabrics of different textures and added pockets to put things in, a button that could be buttoned and unbuttened, some velcro, and a zipper to zip and unzip. I even added a string of spools (like beads). I didn't use actual beads because they could be swallowed if the cord broke. Just an idea.

Blessings to you and son.

Betty Ruth, I love your idea of fiddle quilts. My good friend just had to place his mother in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. He sold me her like new serger for a very good price and he said he had a lot of fabric he had brought home from her house in Colorado. I intend to purchase any usable fabric from him and had the idea of making some quilts for her and other patients in the nursing home. Your ""fiddle" quilt ideas sound so creative. I can't wait to give it a try.

I have made fidgety blankets for persons with dimenthia, all it is small blanket made from fleece, you can attach various pieces of fabric, pockets with snaps to open and close the pocket, zippers that they can fiddle with, buttons that he can undo and do up, I have also added wool that has been braided, short ribbons that can be threaded thru like shoe laces, and a variety of other things can be done to his blanket to keep him occupied and engaged for some time. You would clip the edges of the blanket to make a fringe, and then run a stitching line around to keep it from being torn. (You could visit your local second hand shop and pick up shirts with pockets, some with zippers, some with snaps, some with buttons, and just stitch these pockets onto the blanket). Stitch elastic about 3 inches long, and attach a small stuffed animal to the elastic, put a small hole in the blanket and then they can push the stuffy thru the hole from the front and the back of the blanket.....and probably there is a variety of other things you can think of.