Struggling With Motivation to Quilt
 

Quilting usually relaxes me. I had all these pla ns for this summer to make both of my daughters quilts, make Christmas gifts, and life changed. My daughter and her 4 year old and 16 month old sons moved in with us because she is getting divorced. I'm thrilled to have them here because they lived in MD and I saw them only a few times a year. However, I'm babysitting the kids to help her out. By the time I have some time to myself I just feel like sitting and reading! I want to quilt but just am not motivated.

I've found that sewing in general comes in waves for me. Sometimes I'll sew for 6 months straight, every day. Then I'll stop and not sew again for a couple of years. You've got a lot on your plate right now and if all you want to do is read, then you deserve to take time to yourself to read. As for those quilts you'd planned to make for Christmas, you can always make them for next Christmas. Take care of yourself.

I agree. Listen to yourself. Self is telling you to sit down and relax with that book. Those little kids take a lot out of you, adorable as they are. The quilting will come back - it always does! - and then your reading will suffer.


Your daughter is lucky to have you for a support.

When you have a big change like that it can set back all your plains. Just give it time and enjoy your grand kids. You will soon want to get back to your quilting.

If you haven't read any of Marie Bostwick's books I would like to recommend her Cobbled Court Series. It has a little of a quilting theme along with relationship themes set in a town where each book focuses on different characters but they all intersect in the stories. She is a very good writer and quilting is not the focus of the stories, but adds an interesting side line without overpowering the story. That way you relax with a good book and maybe at some point it will act as an encourager to try something small. (maybe a bed runner instead of a full sized quilt or small simple quilts for the kids). Your quilting mojo will return when things calm down a little. Right now your treading emotional water trying to adjust to the life changes. Hang in there, prayers for all of you!

Maybe this is Gods way of telling you those grands need more interaction with you than you would provide if you were quilting. You might just need some little things to do while you're enjoying those grands. They grow so fast and you finally have them close to you again. (That will change again soon enough). I'm sure when the wave peaks again, you'll be glad you took the time to help them through this difficult time. You have a 4 yr old going through a rough time (away from Daddy) and kindergarten is right around the corner for him... Enjoy!

i bet you are exhausted! plus, no matter how much your love your daughter and your grandchildren, it is a HUGE adjustment to having three new family members living with you! cut yourself some slack, and don't worry about the quilting. it will come back <g>

There are times in life when we must simply rest... This sounds like one of those times in your life. Quilting will always come back into your life, but your are emotionally exhausted from the stress in your life right now. Please treat yourself well and simply rest until you are stronger.

Thank you all so much for the words. It has been a huge adjustment. Things will get worse. My SIL beat the tar out of the four year old and there is a lot of emotional effects from that. I've suspected he has been hurting him for two years but never left marks. I'm a retired teacher and you learn behaviors kids develop when abused and he as had those. The pieces just weren't falling into place. He has a criminal trial in October and the best thing that could happen is for him to be sent to prison for several years. I know I am the most stable, positive person in their lives right now.

Definitely, your family comes first! That poor kiddo...I hope he gets some justice.

Relax and let the sewing bug bite you whenever it bites you. Quilting should not ever ADD stress to your life!

Good luck to you & your family.

Bless your heart! I am so glad you are there for all of them.

Dina

Yeah small children will do that to you. I work a full time very labor intensive job, then come home to take care of a 2 1/2 year old, after that I'm pooped and want nothing to do with anything but relaxing so I hear you

Those are basically the ages of my boys, and by the time they are in bed I feel the exact same way!! I have a corner of the living room right now and my little one gets into everything, so sewing in general is pretty tough right now. I figure this age is just a phase so I better enjoy it while I can.

Perhaps you could make a little sewing kit for the 4 year old with plastic grid, wool and a big needle so that while he 'sews' you can too. Just imagine how thrilled his future wife will be if you teach him to sew on a button or two. But everyone is right - you need to put your feet up whenever you can. And at some point negotiate the amount of help and support in terms of time you can give without losing yourself. When things calm down and get into a rhythm you may find more pockets of time that are just for you.

Awe, that's awful. I can relate, similar situation with my step-dtr, except she won't get out! Very frustrating! You are all in my prayers, don't worry about quilting right now, take care of you too!

So sorry to hear of your trials. Things will get better. Once your daughter gets settled and gets settled in a job, things will get better. You aren't used to little ones, but as time passes you will get more used to having them around all the time. I have been there and watching the little ones takes a lot out of you. Quilting will be there when you are ready to get back to it. Hope things settle down for your daughter and you. Abuse is nothing to turn your back on and I'm glad you daughter had to courage to get away from him. Things will get better.
Sue

So sad. Enjoy your grandchildren and hope and pray all works out. you will have time and energy to quilt as things get better. Prayers for everyone.

Abuse in my past, far, far, past, do take care as all have suggested. Prayers that children will regain their youth. My parents were my saviors, myself and three children returned home and started over. What a blessing that DD has you there for her. I would not have made it without my parents. Bless you. Prayers for all.

Oh, sweetie... sounds to me like you yourself need some TLC. How about a hug?

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You are getting used to a new routine right now, so don't feel bad if you are not quilting. Once you get used to the new routine and the house settles down (ok, maybe with the kids it won't be completely settled), you'll find your way back to quilting!

Quilting is supposed to be a hobby, right? So go with the flow, enjoy the grands, and take it easy! You'll get back to it when the time is right.

book series set in the Shenandoah Mountains.......
 

Maybe enjoying quilting through books would be a good idea. I saw someone else's post mention that idea. There is a book series with a quilting theme running through them set in the Shenandoah Mountains. Some quilting friends I met at a retreat had mentioned them to me so I bought some of them the last time I was there. Two are by Emilie Richards..."Touching Stars" and "Sister's Choice". They are hard back. Another book, a paperback, I picked up is called "The Quilting Circle" and is a collection of short stories about quilting by 4 different authors. Lastly, "The Circle of Quilters" by Jennifer Chiaverini also paperback. I bought them new, read them once each but, doubt I will read them again. They are yours if you would like them. I would be happy to send them to you knowing they would go to someone who would enjoy them. Not sure how to get your address but, I guess that is a detail we figure out.

There will always be time for quilts. There won't always be time to help your family heal. Build in some time for you to be on your own...the library, a coffee shop, or someplace where you just go enjoy being on your own for a bit of time.
You can take care of others, but remember to also take care of YOU! God bless and may your path be made smooth.

If you can go to a museum...or visit one online. Look at archetecture too...thats where I get my modivation.

I always tell my husband, "Hobbies are only fun if you do them when you feel like it." Don't force yourself. Things changed, and you're rolling with it. When you have free time, you need to do whatever feels relaxing to you in that moment. Don't turn quilting into a chore that must be done. Those quilts you haven't made yet will still be there when you're ready to start again.

I'm sorry about the pain your daughter and her children must be going through right now. Sometimes divorce is the right decision, but it's never an easy or painless one.

Bless your heart, you are just trying to put too much on your plate right now. Relax and enjoy your grandchildren. There will be pockets of time that you will be able to quilt some, just take some deep breaths and realize it is all good. Everything in time.

count your blessings.

The same thing happened to me. But I was real hot n heavy into sewing when my Grandfather was ill. It was theraputic. When he passed I lost the motivation and took a 2 year hiatus. Well, I'm BACK! I found projects I am excited about and that's how I spend my time. I still go through days where I just want to read all day. It happens. Just go with it! Do what makes you happy!

Sounds like you are too tired to quilt and that your time is being used for more important things such as your family. Quilts, like dust, can wait.

Breaks my heart to hear of child abuse. Thank heaven your daughter has you to turn to. Many don't have that luxury. Like everyone before said.. give yourself a break (mentally & physically). For now quilting needs to be on the backburner. People will always remember how you made them feel.. not what you did for them.

((hugs))

I had a daughter and her 3 children move in with us 3 different times. 1 time her then husband was with her. It is a challenge but the blessings that come with the challenge can not be counted. We have a bond with her children that has been very strong and I know we wouldn't have had this bond had they not lived with us. Just be glad you can be there for her and help pertect the children from their abusive father.

Oh bless your heart. My heart breaks for the four year old. I hope being in a safe place with you will help your daughter and her children to get a normal life again and feel safe. Forget the quilting for now and spend all the time necessary with those babies. He needs love and comfort from you more than they need the Christmas gifts. You will get back to quilting eventually when everything stabilizes. Praying for all of you!

You are dealing with a lot of very emotional issues right now. Your every day life has been not only challenging but it sounds like you are trying to spread your emotions in several directions, not to mention that your normal routine has been interrupted. Like me, your escape has been the comfort and distraction of books. That is OK. I often find it helpful to make a list of priorities and keep it handy.You may even rearrange the order as you look at the whole picture. If helpful, find someone to talk to, a good trusted friend, your pastor or a professional. You may just have to express your anger and pain out loud. Family, of course, comes first, forget the quilting for now. We all will be thinking about you.

There should be counseling available for your grandson and probably your daughter. They (especially the boy) are victims of a crime. I know the abuse was in a different state but it would not hurt to check out what avenues are open to them. You might start with your local Victim-Witness office - it might be a branch of the Probation Dept. And you probably know some of the right people thru your previous employment. Best wishes and loads of prayers and good thoughts coming your way.

Elliegirl, you need to do just what you want to do regarding your quilting. Those children have had their lives turned upside down. Bless you for being there. I remember your post when you told us about your midnight ride. It is sad. Hopefully they and their mother will start to heal, now that they are removed from their terrible circumstances. You have been, and continue to be on my prayer list. Good luck. Take care.

God bless you for taking in your daughter and your grandchildren. Given the abusive situation, your daughter had the courage to walk away to protect her children, your grandchildren. Just love those children, give your daughter all of your love and support and things will work out. Get help for your grandson and daughter, be there for her and God will find a way to heal all of them and give you the strength you need to see this through.

DITTO..! Enjoy those grandbabies while you can..and enjoy your reading right now,too..you will bounce back soon..take care...

I think the same way. Right now you should treasure the time you have for yourself and go back to quiltiing when it calms down some.

So glad you can be there for the children. You may need to work with an advocacy group to learn how to help the 4-year old cope with the abuse and learn to trust people again. Bless you in your journey ahead. Quilting can wait. Read quilt magazines for relaxation and don't worry about the needle and thread.

We do what we have to do for our kids and our grands. The only time I ever lit into my SIL was for spanking one of MY grands. Your whole world has been turned upside down, but it will level out. In the meantime, your "me" time has been deleted. I think I would try to sew placemats, or table toppers, or something small while they nap. You know, just a little something to prove to yourself that you're still here! In the meantime, sending prayers your way.