Ignorance is the cause of so many problems! Just say NO when you are asked. You don't even have to justify your answer!

I do include washing and care instructions when I give a quilt because some people are their own worst enemies.

If you don't want to be rude (even though you have every right to say whatever you are thinking!!!) just tell them you will make them a much larger quilt. Tell them you have put it on your list and will get to it eventually! That way you have been polite, but are blowing off those incredibly rude people.......But, for the future, a lot of folks have no idea how to care for a quilt and will need to frequently wash a baby quilt. It would be a good idea to attach a small note with laundering suggestions.

I need to remember this and not try to explain why.

It's quite liberating once you start doing it! I think women especially tend to feel the need to explain why because we feel guilty or something. We need to stop that.

The first time I did it was so much fun - years ago I was working in retail and found out that they were going to lay me off after Christmas, despite promising the opposite when I had applied for the job. Whatever, no biggie, I started looking for another job and found one that wanted to hire me immediately, so I gave a week's notice at my old job. Both managers squirmed visibly in their seats when I told them, then asked me to stay at least until after Christmas. I said "No." They waited expectantly, as if I was going to give them some sort of explanation or excuse. I just got up and walked out.

I agree. But what did you say when he handed you the quilt? I would have been shocked and speechless. No matter what you said at the time, I would never mention the subject again, and assume the mother did not like the gift. If/when he brings the subject up again, I would answer, "No thank you". It leaves him wondering, thank you for what? (for returning your gift? for the opportunity to give you an 2nd gift? for asking me to spend more money and time on something your wife might not like? for expecting me to smile while you are being rude to me? for making our working relationship awkward? etc). No matter what he says (like are you even going to give me the small quilt back?) I would never explain, just continue to smile and repeat, "No, thank you", until he stops asking questions.

Oh, my! I just reread your post and now see that he even returned the quilt with the request to make it bigger. Hmmm. I guess I'd keep it but I sure wouldn't make it bigger or make another for them. There are some people who don't "deserve" the efforts that go into making a quilt gift for them. Nowadays my quilts go to my family so then I'm not disappointed/offended how others respond. If I make a charity quilt, I won't know if it ends up in the dog's box. We have these expectations that a gifted quilt will be treasured and in reality they are simply another blanket to some people.

Since he returned the quilt with the request for it to be bigger--if he inquires later about the progress, you can respond with a comment similar to "after consideration, it's a big job that I don't think I can do". Might ask him if he'd like the quilt back as is if you don't want to keep it now. But No is a good word and you should have no qualms about saying it.

I usually enclose washing directions and care for any quilt I give away. Most people, I guess, are used to wearing and washing polyester fabric and have not a clue on care of cotton fabric. They need to be protected from themselves!

I agree! just say NO with no explanation! Imaging living with a woman who would have the nerve to tell you to ask! Remember- a gift is a gift and the giver has no say in how it is used.

That's a nervy request! Poor husband who had to deliver the quilt -- and request. Maybe I'd just never get around to it. Or maybe I'd actually make it bigger; it would probably depend on my mood and time.