Teacher vs Quilt Police
 

I've been working with an instructor to "hone my skills". I'm probably being too sensitive but seems like she is turning into the quilt police. Every little oops she is sure to point out and only criticizes and is not very encouraging.
I'm not a newbie to quilting and appreciate constructive advise. What do you think?

To me the quilt police is like, my way or the highway. Is she like that? Is she criticizing poor workmanship, or just something that she thought you should have done differently?
If she is not an encouraging person, and you need that positive feedback, it sounds like maybe you two are not a good fit.

everyone does things differently. Even teachers must realize that. I would think she is just trying to teach you the "right" way, as she sees it. Just learn what you can and go onto doing your own thing. have fun.

Can you take a time-out on lessons or her teachings? It might be good to take a step back. Hope for the best for you.

I love to quilt for my own pleasure, not to stress myself out trying to be perfect. I would ask her if all she see's in my quilting is things I had done wrong or if there are anything positive about my quilting. Then I would say, one needs to hear positive as well as having one's mistakes pointed out. It will discourage some to the point of quitting something they had wanted to do. If she does not understand that you need to find someone with better teaching skills.

I started out taking a beginner's quilt class from the manager of a quilt store. I could not keep up and the further I got behind the worse she was. Classmates helped me and then I found a quilting group in our neighborhood who changed everything for me. You are paying for the class to learn, not to be criticised. Maybe a quiet conversation would help? Good luck.

Had the police on me a few times. Stopped showing them things or learning from them when my valuable time was spent thinking about it too much. Would even wake up during the night and think about what someone pointed out was 'wrong in their eyes'. Decided when I thought about it and had the need to talk about it to more than one very good friend, then that is when I stopped being taught and showing to those people. One still remains a very good friend, I just choose what to show her.

Well I am going to take the opposite approach. Do you want to have your feelings coddled or do you want to hone your skills? If you have asked her to help you hone your skills, that is her job. If you want somebody to tell you it's okay when it really isnt, then that's a friend's role.

I had a DM like that. She wanted us to learn the right way to do things but pointing out errors without any positive feedback has a demoralizing effect. I KNOW she didn't do it to hurt but it did. People treated this way loose confidence and may quit trying. Don't let this happen to you--if she doesn't change you must go to someone else.

We are hearing only one perspective here. It's quite likely the teacher would be very surprised by the description of events. Whether she's a sweetie-pie or a sweat-shop slave driver, she might be totally unaware of how you perceive and receive her delivery.

there are too many unanswered (and unanswerable) questions for any of us to give you any reliable feedback. for instance ...
is she actually mean or are you actually insecure and overly sensitive?
is she merely straightforward in order to not waste the time you are paying for?
do you want to be spoonfed and coddled vs taught?
or is she, in fact, an imperious dragon who chose the wrong profession?

we can't know.

have a calm, factual, heart-to-heart discussion with her.
provide clear, accurate examples of the things that bother you.
give her a fair chance to meet you on common, satisfying ground.

I've caught myself saying that I want "constructive criticism" but when someone criticised me constructively it was a different story. Since the things she is pointing out apparently ARE things you are doing incorrectly (or could be doing better) then you are really getting what you asked for. I'd say just talk to her. She is possibly focusing only on the things she sees that need improving because she thinks that's what you want to hear.

It's always good to learn new things, but with that said some people are a little to critical to teach leading to frustration on both parties. All I know if there was only one way to do quilting we all wouldn't have the collection of quilting books, magazines, and articles.

My 4th grade teacher was the best teacher I had all through my school years. She criticized with love. Like others said...she pointed out things I did well. And she would always give you a hug (which of course now teachers are not allowed to do) All of the teachers before her were really great too. Then I got to 5th grade and everything changed. She pretty much said she didn't have time to waste on kids that weren't getting all A's. I told my parents and my mother met with her. She told my mother pretty much the same thing and said I wasn't even trying. Honestly, I WAS trying. Anyway...my mother told her that she and my dad did NOT expect me to be an all A student. And she also asked her why she couldn't take some time before or after school to help kids that needed some help. My weakness was science and for a whole marking period we had a man teacher come into our class to teach us the solar system and space....he even had a small TV each week to show us stuff. I got all 100% on his tests. Different style of teaching and I grasped the material.

Sorry I can't say anything about sewing or quilting classes...but I've never taken any type of class except the lesson on using my new Janome 7700.

my thoughts exactly...if you hired her to help you hone your skills, the learning to be extremely precise and detail oriented is what you will be learn....this is not kindygarten cut and paste...this is a life time skill ...if you want it to be!

I'm a horseperson...i ride competitively. as such, i work with a trainer. In my past, i rode competitive dressag and worked with a three time olympian. And here is the thing.....buck it up, learn from her, and take it as a compliment. she is teaching you--and as your skills progress, she IS going to get pickier and pickier--BECAUSE your skills are improving. she's pushing you to do your best.

now, having said that, if you aren't enjoying it, you're allowed to stop the ride and get off <grin>. I switched from dressage to western riding, because i enjoy the family atmosphere that this type of showing brings, and that dressage did not. It's not easier (heck, in a lot of ways, it's harder), but having way more fun. and oh yeah, i've brought those skills over to this sport.

It's a fine line between being the quilt police and giving constructive advice. You might just talk to her and explain how you are feeling.

I teach school and have a piano studio for my "second shift" job. It's a very fine line between stroking the good and pointing out the bad. With my younger students I use this approach: this is what you did best, here's the place you can be proudest of, your playing will sound more "grown-up" when you are able to add this..... With my older ones I use this: tell me what you are most proud of ... now, I get paid to move you past that here's how to add some "wow" to your playing.

I agree with everyone. You want to move on to more "Grown-up" skills, but you need recognition for what you do well. Only you can determine how much of each of those you need to happily move ahead. Share with your teacher (but I'll be surprised if she "gets it" - in my experience once a teacher has a set style it's hard to change.), finish the course in whatever manner you can stand, then find someone whose style matches yours more comfortably.

I have to agree with Patrice. Does the instructor know what your expectations/goals are?

I have sewed for many years. I sewed competitively in 4-H. In my adult life I had to decide whether I was going to enjoy the process or drive myself crazy. I decided that I want my quilts to be used...not to be for show or judged. That being said, I like my blocks to go together easy, I don't like to unsew and my seams be 1/4". I like to learn new techniques to improve the construction of my blocks.

Keep an open mind and realize that this is a learning experience.

There are lots of gentle, informative people out there. If you are uncomfortable with this instructor, look for another. For example, if you post your questions here, you are almost certain to get positive, helpful advice. Many of us, including myself, came to quilting for the pleasure it gives, but without a strong desire to become a great quilt artist. We don't need someone telling us how imperfect we are, rather, it helps to hear what we did well and have our questions answered. I might not be the quilter I am today if I had not had such a teacher.

If you are not enjoying it and it doesn't seem worth it just quit it. I do quilting for fun and what you are going through doesn't seem like fun.

I guess it depends on what you want out of it. Pointing out every little oops is what improves your skills. Ego stroking doesn't do a thing for your skills.

I am so far self-taught....I have been thinking of getting some tuition on a long-arm setup....as I have an idea I might like one some day. If I am going to pay someone my hard-earned dollar to teach me....I want them to have me jumping through hoops from the get go. I don't need them to be my friend, or tread softly, I want to learn properly and have a good grounding and skill base to draw from before making a big investment. Some of my best teachers have been the hardest task-masters.

I think that sometimes teachers think you take a class from them because you want to be as good as they are, so they think it's constructive to point out the mistakes you make. She might think you want her to do that too, because you want it to be as "perfect" as possible, or you want to know when you are making a mistake, even if that mistake doesn't really affect the projects outcome.

If you like her, then listen and then continue merrily on your way. I teach and my motto is that the mistakes we make are what make our projects uniquely our own. And sometimes mistakes turn out better and a new technique is born!

just to play devil's advocate......
some instructors do not know how to give positive feedback to go along with the corrections. it is possible that, to her, she is just advising you of corrections that need to be made. unfortunately she is not doing it in the best way and it comes across as bossy and highly critical. of course, i am not there to see, so you need to decide how much you are willing to put up with. if you are getting good tips and help in increasing your skill you may be willing to go along with her. if you are not increasing skill then you may need to look for another teacher. there is a lot to be said about a "good fit" for personalities. i wish you luck.

Having taught a few classes in my lifetime, I understand how difficult it is. One beginner class (Turning Twenty) was going really well...or so I thought. Two of them were absolute beginners and were doing amazingly well. I tried not to hover over them and I thought I was an encourager telling them how great they were doing. They were so excited about what they were doing and asked how far they should go before the next class. I gave them the assignment but also told them that they were doing so well that if they felt they wanted to go beyond that, they could. It was a simple pattern and all basics had been covered. With their excitement I did not want to stop them if they wanted to go on and complete all the piecing. Besides that since they both had a hard time getting off of work and since they were progressing so well, they might not even want to come in for the last class but instead drop in during store hours for help if needed. Long story short, they did not come back to class but instead sent an email to my bosses explaining that I was not interested in them,I did not want them to come back to class and I don't know what else. I was watching them but I did not hover, did not want to make them nervous. When my bosses let me read the email from them, my mouth fell to the floor. I had not the slightest idea that they were unhappy with me. I had no idea that they preceived me as not interested and ignoring them. You couldhave knocked me over with a feather.

During class they did not want to take a lunch break. I had to make a phone call before 12:30 to cancel a hotel reservation. I should have stepped out of the class room...I know that now....but I did not. They complained to my boss that I made personal calls that were distracting to them. That one and only 'personal' call that i made lasted about 2 minutes and it should have been my lunch break except they did not want to break. I wrote back to them explaining where I was coming from. I tried to make the class relaxing and fun and encouraging. It was all wrong for them, I guess.

Another class...a stack 'n whack class....those are usually good to teach and a bit more intense than the Turning Twenty. One time I had a big class with a variety of personalities and skills. One was far too picky about parts that she did not need to be exact with because it was going to be trimmed back.... yet the next one would always say, "Oh you know me, close is good enough." Close is not good enough when you get down to the nitty gritty of s 'n w. So how does a teacher handle making one student loosen up when she is stressing about 'exact' on edges that don't matter and will be trimmed while the lady next to her will not listen to instruction that certain parts need to be exact. The lady who said, "Close is good enough" was never able to make it come together. I could not save her project. She took it to two other quilters who are better than I am, they could not save it. She will never ever say 'well, I guess close was not good enough." I take no responsibility for her failed project. I told her she needed to be exact on those cuts. She chose her way.

If you let people 'slide' without constructive criticisim, we are bad teachers because we are not precise enough. If we get too nit picky, then that is discouraging. Tough line to balance on. Another lady in a stack 'n whack class was absolutely thrilled with her project and deemed it a great success. Should I have told her that her blocks were way off kilter? I didn't. She was happy. If they would have been my blocks, I would have probably tossed them. I am more of "enjoy the journey'. If the 'journey' is not fun, why do it. I guess I tend to be more relaxed and not critical...helpful, hopefully, to prevent errors but if the student is happy with it, who am I to tell them it is wrong.

In my years in the industry, I have seen and heard of a lot of 'teacher' experiences. One lady that i met had taken a class from her very very good friend....a famous quilt book author but I will not mention her name. she said, "I love her as a friend but as a teacher, I could not tolerate her attitude of 'my way or the hi-way'.

Oh, then there was the hand quilting class that I took from DeeDee McElroy. She was the best if you ask me. Yet one lady walked out saying what a bad teacher she was. Dee Dee had me quilting 12 stitches per inch within just a little while. She broke it all down but that one lady walked out.

Teaching is hard because you just don't know what the expectations are. when I teach s 'n w, I stress that it is to teach the technique of stacking and whacking only.... they need to know how to finish it regarding the quilting and binding. That is not covered in class. some don't like that. Oh well.

I say to anyone who is not meshing with the teacher, move on. It is not worth it unless you are getting some instruction that you feel is really helpful. If not, enjoy your own journey. I am sure there are some that say I could use a class in color but you know what? I pick the colors that I like using no rules or color theory. And i don't care if someone criticizes my quilt. I enjoyed the journey.

You don't have to take everything that anyone says to heart. A teacher is there to advise and lead - however, it is up to you to do the rest. If you disagree, why not ask or discuss her reasons for her statements? The conversation that follows may educate both of you. Any master class in any art will be tough. Keep up your enthusiasm as you must have selected this person for a reason?

Take a time out, find someone you can connect with. I love the ladies in my LQS who teach...all but one. I avoid her classes like the plague. Why stress myself out when I should be having fun

It's the 'only criticizes' comment that caught my eye. If it were me, I'd find a TEACHER. I was a home ec. teacher for years, and I knew better than to criticize. A good teacher knows how to give constructive criticism. There is a difference.

I understand,, I am have taken classes where the instructor watched me sewing and gave constructive criticism, it was okay, but it did make me rather anxious... I agree she should give you some positive feedback also. I don't mind anyone sharing a better way to do things, but if you don't want the help, maybe you should just let her know that your quilts are not gonna be judged so you really don't want them picked to pieces LOL maybe you should ask her who died and left her the scrolls, (just kidding)that would probably make her mad

Personally, I think it's time to find another instructor to "hone your skills".

Perhaps you need a new teacher. We are all different and respond differently to teaching styles. "One size" never fits all - despite what the label says.

I believe there are many ways to do things. For example, some iron seams open and some to the side. Some prewash and some do not. There are many many ways to make half square triangles. None of these techniques are right or wrong or the BEST.

The best teachers are open and explain why they think something might be better done a different way. They explain what problems might arise with the current method. The bad ones are the ones who firmly believe that their way is the one and only way that anyone should do something and they only bad mouth other methods. I had one person who had a couple of trick questions she liked to ask and judged you by your answers. I would never have been able to take a class from her. Too judgmental.

I would ditch her, quilting is suppose to be enjoyable not stressful and I think it's awful to be so pickey and critical. You need encouragement not criticism.

You've received some pretty reasonable advice. I'll share my experience, at the Mid-Atlantic quilt festival. A friend and I took one class on sewing curves with a special foot created for sewing curves. The teacher repeated several times "now remember, if you don't understand something be sure to ask!" with a condescending tone, and then she mentioned the satisfaction survey for the class and pointed out she was telling us how to do it, but if we didn't understand it and didn't ask...."
Well... I took her at her word and asked for help. She forgot about me, helped a few others, so I reminded her. She decided to gather a few of us together so she only had to say it once... and from her tone I could tell she was getting tired of pointing things out to people.

I didn't need that type of atmosphere so we left early. She was getting ready to move on to the next step, but what I'd seen so far was a waste of my time and I had quilts to go see!

By your own admission, you are not a novice quilter and your reason for studying with this instructor is to fine tune your skills. That cannot be done without pointing out the small things that could be improved in your work. What you are calling criticism could very easily be the honest critique that is necessary for you to grow. Seems to me she is doing just what you say you want of her. As Scissor Queen said, ego stroking is not a skill builder.

I have never taken a class since I started quilting 5 yrs ago.
The web videos are the best teacher. There are so many ways to do things and only by watching many experts can you find the one that you relate to.
I recomment signing up for QNN for a year and watching the many videos they have for instructions on every thing and by many famous quilters. Ive found that Eleanor Burns is my favorite teacher.
Youtube has the Missouri quilt shows that are very good to.