I have been quilting for about a year, have actually made very few quilts but have done some doll quilt swaps and block swaps.
In fact I have only made three full size quilts, one for a neighbor when she was going through chemo, one for her first grandchild and one for my dad. My neighbor cried when I gave her the quilt. She delivered the baby quilt to her daughter when she had the baby, I have never even had her acknowledge the quilt and I have seen her pretty often and see the baby every weekend. When I gave my dad the quilt I thought he would really appreciate it since his mom made quilts. Well I don't think they had it out of the gift bag for 30 seconds, his wife said, Oh yeah, that's nice and stuffed it back in the bag.
I was so proud of those quilts and it just broke my heart to see that two of the three were truly not even appreciated, probably not even wanted. That has really put a damper on me wanting to make any more gift quilts.

Quilt for you sweetie. Post pictures here and we all really appreciate your talent and effort. Our art is so misunderstood and unappreciated outside of our world.

(((HUGS))) It is sad but true....
you can also quilt for charities.... Downy quilts ARE truly appreciated, as well as quilts for vets, nursing homes.....

Sorry you had such bad experiences. Don't take it to heart. Get your real satisfaction from the process and the accomplishment. Then any praise will just be icing on the cake!!
Now get back to quilting!!

Ditter

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}
So sorry you got such a poor response . But as said before do it for yourself and enjoy ! Soon you will have too many people asking you to make quilts for them :shock: And then you will join out other post " How do you say NO!" LOL
Post your pics here so we can all enjoy :thumbup:

Unfortunately, many people don't really appreciate the time and money we put into quilts. I pick and choose who I give quilts to. They are not "just blankets."

Keep up the good work and do what you like. Sorry about your experience.

Barb

So sorry to hear that, try to remember the one that was really appreciated because if it makes one person happy it is worth it, plus you were happy to make them so that is two of you! And yes post pictures!!

{{{{{{OHsue}}}}}} when you give so much of your heart, it is so easy to be hurt. A tender heart needs to be protected. So, protect it with our friendships here. I've never seen such sweet people and helpful and encouraging. Yep they are rite, Do It For You. Here is a little story. I knew a little lady who was old to me when I was a youngster and I know she was younger than I am today. But, that isn't neither here nor there. She quilted almost non-stop. She didn't do much housekeeping and she ran a boarding house. She had two extra bedrooms, she was an old maid. And all she ever did was sew. She had them hung in her little apartment all around the walls on clothes lines that were nailed to the wall. She had them nailed all around. When she passed away they found over two hundred. She had no one to give them to, but she just kept making them. They were beautiful. I always liked her but mother said, she was someone she would call lazy because she never did her housework. She expected the people who boarded with her to share the cooking experiences and the one little bathroom down at the end of the hall that didn't have a door. I always wondered why she didn't hang a quilt there for privacy. The feeling around her was cozy and happy. So, do it for you. Miss Taylor has been gone nearly fifty years, but she became a ledgeon (SP). The woman who never worked, never cooked and never did housework, but she had two hundred quilts hanging in her home.
Maybe you would not want to hang them in your home, but the feeling of creating something is so personal that you could do as one of the ladies suggested, send them to Linus or the Downy charities. Just now, the Haitians would love your sweet touch. You are a blessing from above. Give it back to charities. blessings, Ruth

I made my niece's daughter a quilt when the baby was born - I was in town the day she got it - we spent the day together - nary a word of thanks. Then when the same daughter 'needed' a quilt for baby dolls - I thought it was so neat in this day and age that a little girl was even playing dolls - I, unasked, made her a quilt for her babies. I know she uses it and I know she loves it but still not a word from my niece in regard to either quilt - she recently had another child - that poor boy will freeze because this is one aunt who did not make him a quilt. I've learned to make them for the thankful ones...

I forgot to quote who said it first....

quilt for you. Everything else will fall in place.

I made my ex-husbands father a quilt that he adores. He refuses to move it from the back of the couch so every time the ex goes to see his dad, my quilt is always there:) there are moments like these that just make you grin:)

Thanks to all for your kind responses and special thanks to Ruth, I already have that not cleaning thing down, so if I want to be a legend in my own time I just have to fill the rest of my time and spaces with quilts.
I guess I would really expect gratitude for any gift, store bought or hand made. But I guess I should be old enough to know you don't always get what you expect....

I think people in general are just less thankfull and lots more inconsiderate than they use to be, but there are still people who do care and appreciate things we do for them!

Hi,

Hang in there as I'm sure your quilts were beautiful but like the others said some people don't understand what time is put into making a quilt.

I am thinking of making some quilts to donate to Riley Hospital as they are always in need of them along with other hospitals.

Karen

The joy of quilting has to be in the process of choosing the fabric, designing the quilt and actually making it.....

Unfortunately, not everyone knows how much love not to mention time goes into a quilt....

You are not the only one to have their special gifts not appreciated....My SIL washed my grandson's quilt in BLEACH. It was my first quilt and I was absolutely crushed when I saw it and recognized his lack of regard for this special quilt. Needless to say, it made me sad :cry:

I think people get embarrassed and uncomfortable with hand made, thoughtful gifts.
If it is a gift that is bought, then they can detach from it somehow.
I made a bunch of handmade gifts (emb. holiday dish cloths, hot pads, quilted wallhangings, lap quilts, etc.) and only one or two thanked me or even aknowledged that they had received the item. I had to ASK if they had received the package!!!!
Don't do that any more!!!
And trust me, these were not crappy stuff...
k

You have recieved very wise and good advice. I think first make a few quilts for you. If you want to make some for the Quilt for Kids, there is a link here & you can contact them and they will send you the kit. Very worthy cause. It is a great feeling to do this. They will be appreciated & used. I am sure there are Charities in your area that would love donated quilts if that is your thing. I know how it feels to make a quilt for a gift & it not be loved or appreciated. But turn your cheek, hold your head high and get back to sewing. I made a few quilts I wanted to for me, and it felt wonderful! Sorry this is so long.

Send me one and I'll show you how much I appreciate it! Sorry, just a little humor :lol: :wink:

I agree!! The operative word here is "IN GENERAL". It's not just our quilts that go unappreciated. I would say that well over 50% of the 20 - 35 year old crowd were never taught (or if they were, they didn't listen) to say, please & thank you, yes/no mam, yes/no sir; how to be polite. If you will notice, this is the same age group that EXPECTS something for nothing.

I second that.

I'm sorry for you that they didn't appriciate your quilts. I had the same experience, one time with a family member and one with a charity-organisation and a few times when I gave handmade presents. I still haven't figured out why they didn't want my quilt! It's was made perfectly. I was so sad I never wanted to quilt again. So I agree that you have to quilt just for you.

LOVE IT! I had done some glass etching on the large mirrors in the master bath of a double wide my ex and I had. We split, he kept the dbl wide and now gets to see those etchings every single day! I'm grinning with you!

Great advice everyone! I totally agree-quilt for you. I know that it provides me so much relaxation and releases the tensions of the day that I know that I can't stop doing it for this reason alone. it is really too bad that people don't appreciate the things we do for them, that is their loss-don't be sad. when other ppl see your quilts i know you will be joining the club-when to say "NO"!! So...keep on quilting and keep on smiling!!

I have the same thanklessness with some of the gifts I spend hours making and give from my heart. It hurts. One reason I love this board is the positive words, the encouragement, the help and the love shared here. Stick with us and show off your great heart filled work.

Sounds like my grands and great grand. Every year I say no more gifts.

There are only two people in my family that appriciate quilts. They are the only ones I make quilts for anymore, lesson learned.

I too had an experience similar to yours. I made a friend one, she was going thru a rough time, and I did it to comfort her. She barely looked at it when I gave it to her, and never said another word about it. But her sister told me that my friend loves it, is just shy about expressing her feeling about homemade things. When at my friends house once, her sister said something about stealing the quilt, my friend pipped in and said "no way, I love it, use it every day". So I guess it was a good thing I made it for her.

Give quilts to someone who appreciates them..if you want acknoldgement all the time, it isn't going to happen..it has been 3 years since any word on a wedding quilt, and two baby quilts, to two different neices....all are family too.

so no more quilts for them, i like doing for charity or to cheer someone up now. they are the most rewarding. so sorry, you have had this happen to you..

this has happened to all of us And like K said, quilt for yourself. For the pleasure it gives you. And please post pictures so we can enjoy your talent and what you do. We, understand what goes into a quilt and appreciate every stitch.

Quilts are a labor of love. Life is short - If it makes you happy while doing it don't worry about others.

I am sure that ones made, you will find someone to give it too how will appreciate it.

I really feel that young people now a days don't know how to say Thank You. Unfortuately the days of written Thank you notes appears to be over.

I would love to see pictures of the quilts you have made.

Thanks for sharing.
June

Don't let it get you down. Make one for yourself.

These one's that are appreciated take away the pain of the one's that aren't. I have made baby quilts for everyone at my office that has had a baby. I saw one of them 6 years later, and it was so well loved, it was almost in shreds.
On the other hand, I made a Hawaiian style needle turned quilt for my step son when he married his first wife. Took me almost a year to complete (due to the interruption of a full time job). After they divorced, my husband saw the quilt being used in the garage to cover some old dirty tires. I think it hurt my husband more than me.
I have learned that once you give something away, you have to let go.

I think we have all had people who don't appreciate what we do and the gifts we give. They don't realize that when we give a quilt we are really giving a part of ourselves. But then you have someone who is so thankful that it makes up for a little of the other. I made one of my Godsons a quilt a good 25 years ago when he went to collage. He still has it. It is in absolute tatters because it was loved to death. When they had kids it was used at the "sick" quilt. His wife has patched it so much there probably isn't much of the original left. Last year she said it was time to retire it and all of the kids (teenagers now) had a fit. It has made me feel so good all of these years to know how much it was loved. This year I am making them a new one.

went to a baby shower last month. got the call this morning. Aryanna made her debut last night. her mom and dad wanted me to know she will be coming home wrapped in her blankie. I hope they don't lose her inside- it was 48" x 48" and she's only 6 lbs.

now that makes me feel warm and fuzzy and makes up for the ones you don't get a thank you for.

What kind of relationship do you have with your stepmother? Could that be a factor in her crappy attitude when you gave your dad the quilt? Even though it appears that your dad "dropped the ball" when you gave him the quilt, I say (a) be glad your neighbor appreciated your thoughtfulness and your efforts and (b) chalk the other 2 up to people who lack sensitivity (and/or manners). I hope you continue to make quilts and thoroughly enjoy the process, whatever you decide to do with them when they are complete.

I must tell you that I am one of those people who like to stir up an anthill and I would be likely to say something such as, "I guess you don't like the quilt ... just give it back, then."

I allow for certain circumstances and I know there are people who really appreciate a gift, but who can not or will not acknowledge it. If I know this to be the case, I don't say anything ... I allow for certain idiosyncrasies ... we all have them. BUT, on the other hand, if someone is just rude, ungrateful, or is a "me, me, me" person, I really like to take him/her down a peg. It is so satisfying!

Of course, when the gift is for a child, I would never say a word, no matter how ungrateful the parent(s).

[quote=weezie]Believe me, my father was just as inattentive as his wife, I guess I don't really think of her as a step mom since they got married long after I had left home. I know I have no right to 'expect gratitude', but all I have thought about is the number of personal projects I put on the back burner to do these quilts for these folks.
Trust me, the next big project I have planned is for my husband, at least he knows enough to appreciate it, or at least fake gratitude (LOL) and I will get to sleep under it.

So sorry this happend to you but God loves a cheerful giver and just think there was one that appreciated you so now you will be the one that gets the blessings so pls.start sewing again and make quilts for yourself or maybe for some charites(:)

I would just think of them being rude and jealous of your talents. Your heart was in the right place, maybe their's isn't.

Most people don't realize everything that goes into a quilt. I quilt for my self and if others don't appreciate it that's their problem.

I agree...don't let other people's crap attitudes and behaviour get you down. Now...get quilting and be happy...I am sure there are many people out there who would be very grateful and happy to receive one of your quilts...especially, small people who may be going through a traumatic time with illness or family breakdown.