I donate quilts regularly and frequently to many charitable organizations and never thought I would be writing this.

I donated five quilts and three quilted storybooks to Ronald McDonald House in my neighborhood about three weeks ago. Prior to doing this, I contacted the director by e-mail to ask if they were interested, and she responded immediately to this e-mail and another e-mail setting up a delivery time. When I delivered the quilts and storybooks, the director was not in and the staffer who received these items bubbled with enthusiasm and gave me a receipt.

A few days later, I received an e-mail from an unknown person who said her daughter had "bought two quilts" from RMH that she thought were "so pretty." She wanted me to make one for her bed and asked me to call her. I wondered if she was a patient's mother, who her daughter was, and if my quilts were being sold rather than going directly to the ailing children.

I e-mailed the director asking for clarification. The director did not reply but forwarded my inquiry to the staffer who handled my donation. This staffer e-mailed me and asked for my home phone number to discuss "this little misunderstanding." Since I choose not to give out my phone number, I wrote back to her asking her to clarify by e-mail. She did not reply.

After a week, I e-mailed the director again with a "cc" to the staffer, asking for clarification and stating that the staffer did not reply to my inquiry. I was ignored again.

What would you think under these circumstances? That RMH makes it a practice to sell quilts for profit unbeknownst to the quilter? That they purposely mislead quilters to think their handiwork goes to the children? Why would they choose not to answer if they have nothing to hide?

Would you let the matter drop or would you contact national headquarters?

I feel hoodwinked and duped. Thanks for your input.

I'm the type that would have to find out what my donations are being used for.

Find out what the quilts are used for especially if you make them for the children. Bad business to solicit stuff and then use it for another purpose.

Since the only thing standing in the way of clarification is your own insistance on not revealing your home phone number, I would either go talk to them in person or call them (from a neutral phone number if you wish) to find out what exactly happened. Until then, you should not presume anything, either in your own imagination or out loud to other people. Just my opinion of course.

I'm the type who would definitely push until I got an answer. There are many good hearted quilters who donate to charitable organizations and I would hate to think that anyone abuses this generosity.

On another note, my mom was in the hospital last week and the day after she was admitted, I came in to find a lap quilt that had been donated. I was very touched and my mom was very comforted by the quilt.

Maybe going in person and arrange a meeting with both of them. Bring a copy of the e-mail you got from the person. E-mails and phone calls are OK but to me nothing beats seen the people's reaction in person. The director may not be aware of what the staffer is up to. You may be opening a can of worms, and I say go for it.

I wance donateda quilt to Stop Domestic Violence to be given to a victim, through my guild. Never though about it again. Months later I went there to deliver used phones collected at work and the quilt was hanging on the wall. My son recognized it. I asked about it and they told me they liked it too much to give it away. I didn't liked that because I knew that it was a matter of time before someone went home with it. I spoke to the director and a few weeks later got a message that hte quilt had been donated to a victim.

I would definately contact the headquarters and email them again making them aware of it! How sad that this happened.

Kyia

I would try to get to the bottom of it. There may have been misunderstanding if you thought the quilts were going to directly to children whose famileis use the House and either (1) the director understood this and did not convey this correctly to the staffer; or (2) the director did not understand your wishes and thought it appropriate to use them in fundraising as it wished. There is also the chance that (3) the director chose to ignore your wishes, in which case your kind offer of a donation should have been declined.

It may truly be a misunderstanding, but the director needs to reposnd to you. If sufficient time (at least a few business days -- she may be out of the office) has elapsed and you did not get a follow up from the director, you could write a letter with details of your concerns to corporate office as well as the chairman of the local House board. About 10 years ago I was on the board for our local Ronald McDonald House, which functions as its own nonprofit. Unfortunately, we originally had a director who was disorganized and did not follow through on things. The board should know if the director is not doing her job. Not that this would be grounds for dismissal, but if it is part of an ongoing pattern, the board should know. The director is accountable to that local board. We hired a new director who has been doing a good job for the past 9 years.

Contact RMH headquaters. ASAP. Someone is not doing something right. RMH headquarters needs to know so they can follow up.
Keep us posted as to what you find out. It's a shame to lose faith in someone. Keep quilting for the good people.

They don't want the communique in writting is the feeling I'm getting. It sounds like someone was very naughty and you caught them.

My immediate question is how did the buyer get your contact information. I'd be angry about that right off the bat. I don't want anyone handing out my info. That's for me to do and me only.

I don't blame you for not wanting to give them your phone number. Who knows who they would give that to.

I would definitely tell the director that my quilts are for the children in the hospital only and not to be sold.

Most donated items at my church have a permanent tag on them that say "Not for Resale". Maybe you could do something like that?

I'm so sorry you had this experience.

Well, investigating it would clarify the facts for reference purposes. When it is exhausted to your extent, then remember. When we give from a pure heart, the GOOD LORD leads it. HE may have reasons to test someone else but, in giving, we relinquish rights. So, just remember, you gave it. Satisfaction is in knowing, it is out of your control and in control of the higher. That's how I settle misunderstandings. But, they should clarify this on their sites. Lots of wonderful givers on this board. I love you all. Hugz Ruth

Contact Headquarters. My nephew still has the quilt RMH gave him when he was born and needed emergency surgery (everything is perfect now!)

There's no reason money should have been involved.

I would e-mail the both back again and let them know if they do not reply by "X" date I would be going up the chain to the RMH corporate level. I bet you will get your response.

I agree...if there was a misunderstanding on how the quilts were to be used they should just say so. Then in the future you would feel more comfortable donating if you know they will go where you intended.
If they need donated items to sell, that is fine, but they need to be upfront about this and honor where the donors want their items to be used. The one near us does supply some needed personal items for those who come to them in emergency situations and they don't always have a stock of certain things.

Don't let this go. Go to the top if you have to.

Have you ever heard of an organization called Project Linus? They are a national, non-profit organization that make blankets (quilts, fleece, crochet) for children that are suffered from a traumatic event in their life.

The RMH is an organization that accepts these blankets and give them to their patients. I, personally, would contact this RMH because I would hate to think that the staffer "sold" your quilt and then pocketed the money.

Best of luck to you while you try to figure out this issue. Know that you have people who will support you as you search for your answer!

Please follow up and find out what happened and let us know. I would just go there for a surprise meeting.

Karen

I think this is the next step. You shouldn't need to give out your personal phone number to get an answer.

Darned right you should try to get to the bottom of this. What you planned for those quilts and books and what you suspect might have happened to them is the difference between giving something away or having it stolen from you. (Example: If you gave something to a friend, you would both feel good about it ... but if the 'friend' stole it ... not so good!)

Do you still have the contact information from the woman who said she bought the quilts from RMH? She might be able to shed some light on the situation.

Let us know the results. Not all RMH's are the same. We had a good experience with our 2 yr old granddaughter staying at RMH four times so far. She loves her blanket donated by Project Linus.

Any information given out without the permission of the individual is a violation of the privacy act. Anyone associated with a business or organization knows this. Giving out an email address definitely falls in this category. Definitely contact corporate level. You have contacted them on the local level and they have chosen to ignore you, its time to take it to the next level.

I agree with this completely!

I would ask to meet with them to see what is happening. It may just be a misunderstanding. I work in a hospital and many of my "terminal" patients receive quilts from out volunteers. It is wonderful to know they are warm and comforted by these quilts.

I would like to know how an unknown person got your e-mail to request another quilt. I would be tempted to ask her to send a picture of the quilt. It may not have been one of yours. But at any rate, RMD House should not be giving out your e-mail address.

The whole thing does sound a bit fishy to me. If you wish to continue donating to them put a label on the back that states "Donated to Ronald McDonald House, not intended for sale" and quilt it down. See how they like that one.

i am probably the odd man out on this thinking ..this is probably an isolated incident involving one person. Not the group as a whole.
i think this should be handled privately, and in person,with the director and whoever handled the quilt. Not on a message board,where it may influence others giving to them,when in actuality it is one persons doing.
And i really think, she is not pulling a fast one..if she was, your info would not have been given out as a contact to see about making another quilt..
IMHO, I think it was a misunderstanding.
I can understand your frustration..it not ending up where it was meant to go. That would make me sad.
As a group i belong to,We make quilts,raffle them off and all the funds go to RMH. We know what is happening to the quilts..
that is the difference. Kim

Please let us know what results you get if you decide to follow up on this. I know I'd be very interested in the information.

And I believe you were completely right to express your concern here on the board. We're your friends.

Thank you, all, for your responses and sound advice. I'm going to sleep on this and decide my next step.

My feeling at the moment is that if my quilts were going to be sold for profit, I should have been advised up front. My quilts are intended to bring comfort to a child, not profit for an organization. Otherwise, I would just write a check. And it is imperative I know up front so that I donate only my original work and not inadvertently use a pattern that may be copyrighted.

I also strongly feel that common courtesy dictates a response to an inquiry, certainly two inquiries, even if that response is to say we cannot answer by e-mail, only by phone call (which would be suspect also, since the best documentation is written). They apparently had no trouble communicating by e-mail before.

In answer to how the unknown person who wanted me to make her a quilt got my e-mail address, it was a generic, nonpersonal e-mail address printed on my labels on back of all my quilts for the general public and was not the personal e-mail address furnished to RMH personnel. That is to identify me as the quilter and used in case recipients wish to contact me with care questions or with expressions of appreciation.

Thank you, too, for the reminders of why we do quilt for charity and what moves us to give of ourselves for others.

That's funny, I always wonder when I donate some nice quality things to Salvation Army or Goodwill whether they will really go to the intended purpose or whether someone will take it for themselves. Some years ago several members of one family who ran several nearby Goodwills were prosecuted for theft. Seems they were taking antiques and nice donated furnishings and they had a private store that sold them to the public. They were given jail time. Too bad we can't be sure where our donations will ultimately go.

Oh boy, I'd be wondering too. You put time/money into those quilts, and I know once we give something away, it's out of our hands, BUT you need to know if you want to donate more to this place. It sounds like a glitch just at this particular place with one particular person... so that doesn't tarnish any good names at all. Let us know what you find out! Good luck.

The person who bought the 2 quilts and wants you to make another one - ask them. They can tell you that they paid $50 for the quilt, or that they received it as a donation for an ailing child and might just have mistyped, ya know? Ask them. And go in person to talk to the director. And if s/he doesn't respond, ask the district manager/CEO/someone higher.

If they have a local board, you should be able to find out the board chair's name on their website or in the annual report. They may be an avenue to address this.

One of my friends worked at a Goodwill store in northern Ohio and said the workers always kept the things they wanted in the back of the store in the Employees Only section. Then they paid for them out of their paychecks. Items were still being "bought" but the general public never had a chance to buy them. I don't know if it's like that at all thrift stores.

Actually, my label on the back of the quilt specifically says it is made for RMH and is permanently adhered with BoNash. It cannot be removed without damaging the quilt. I llike your suggestion of saying specifically it is donated for RMH and not intended for sale.

Since the local chapter is in my neighborhood, I can easily drop in for such a surprise meeting. I may very well do this the first chance I get, bringing along copies of my e-mails. That might be a good first step before going to the next level.

Replying to the mystery woman's e-mail was the first thing I did. I kept it brief and low key, merely stating I was glad she liked my quilts and I hoped her daughter "didn't pay too much" for them. I tried to further encourage a reply from her asking what she liked in the way of themes and colors, etc. I never heard back from her, which led to the first of two e-mails to the RMH director asking for clarification; neither were answered.

Even if the money from the sale of your quilts went to RMH, that should have been explained to you up front. I hope this won't discourage you from making donation quilts. Quilters are such giving people.

That is a very simple matter that could have been explained in a short e-mail; i.e., the quilts weren't sold but only borrowed to demonstrate, or the quilts were sold and we should have advised you, or the quilts were given to our children. Why would an explanation be too complicated to warrant silence? Their silence raises more suspicions.

Chele, I have been donating quilts to worthy charites for years and don't plan to stop 'til I drop.

I would definitely schedule a face-to-face meeting with both the director and staff member and explain your disapproval and ways that the situation can be rectified by both parties. Contact the regional director of RMH through phone or by a letter (not by email)stating the situation and ask for their policy infomation on donations.

Also, if you intend to donate to RMH again, set your expectations up front, especially with the disclosure of personal information. That's a no-no by any organization unless there has been authorized approval.

Suggestion about donating quilts: The Quilts4Kids organization is a great way to give quilts to children facing hospitalization or terminal illness. www.quilts4kids.org

Good luck, and keep us posted.

This is just not right. I would certainly let the head office know the problem you had, no telling how many other have been taken advantage of by this one employee.

My DD gave me lots of nice clothes to donate to a local church clothes closet. There had been an apt. fire and many were without clothing. One week later I was at the church helping set up for a wedding and the church secretary two daughters walked in WEARING my DD's donated clothes! Jeans, tops, sweater, hoodie, even the shoes! This family is not in need of anything! I went right to the secretary and asked her why her girls were wearing donated clothes from the church clothes closet. She turned red and stammered a few words. I talked to the pastor and he just shrugged his shoulders. I have never been back to that church.

I appreciate your point of view, but I personally would not hesitate to donate due to this conversation. I don't think that is it's intent at all. I would though be very clear about what will happen to my donation when I do.