Good for you!! I think respect is a two way street, and parents need to show respect to their children and encourage their endeavors too. I'm proud of you!!

Good job! I know it's hard to stand up for yourself with your Mom but we can't let someone else make a victim of their caustic words either. I predict that this will be a turning point for the better with your Mom.

I will NEVER understand why mothers think they can say anything they like to their grown children. I have friends who do that to their children. If I did the same to my daughter or son they would never speak to me again. PLUS when I'm jokeing with my daughter she reminds me very sweetly that SHE will get to pick my nursing home.

My mother always felt free to tell me a better way to do things. It made me mad but for the most part I just ignored her.

Good job standing up for yourself! Congratulations!! Sometimes it's necessary, even when you don't like conflict.

Patrice/Admin - Can we start a Quilting Board Police Department?? :D :D

wow my mother would just be ecstatic that i was sewing
unfortunately she passed away before i started quilting.
she sewed alot during her life i just wasnt the easiest student and i never learned. i always did beautiful cross stitch and embrodiery just could do the machine thing.
i usually do my binding that way unless im making some creative statement ???
carla

Good for you. MOthers are not always right. Hold your head high and appreciate what you Can do.

Deanna,
Take it one day at a time and keep standing up for yourself, I know that she will be coming back at you with something else, but even her friends said good for you. You Go Girl.
Keep those feet planted and stand up for you, you are the only one that can do it.

good girl.

perhaps you mom might just decide that you have a good point in doing what you do.

and that it is quite OK to do your own thing.

Keep tying until YOU decide that you want to quilt.......

Well, if turning the excess backing over to the front and stitching it with handstitching is cheating it was done for a long time. My mother and I made quilts in the 1950's and that is exactly how we finished them and I thought they looked nice.
Not only that, the lining was a good grade of flannel that co-ordinated with the top. Also, my grandmothers "cheated". So, it goes a long way back and I have never heard it called cheating. I have done both ways and like both. Cherish the ones my mother helped me make. You don't need anyone to tell you to do it a certain way. If you like it, that is all that matters. It also takea less time to turn the backover the front, no estra cutting or sewing. Enjoy what you do. AnnieMae

What your Mom did was very petty. I can't imagine getting after someone for such a little thing as that. I fold my backing over sometimes (not that that makes a difference) it makes a good binding. Quilting is an individual art form, like paint or drawing there is NO wrong way. Let her know you love her too, because you need to honor her but it is good you stood up to her too.

So Proud of You! Some people just gotta have things their way. Then there are the rest of us that can ignore them and be happy. Way to Go!

Hugs!!! Good for you.

You did great. Keep going.

Good for you! I have always been a very passive person, but sometimnes when you just can't take it any more something just clicks and makes you break loose. I am all for being respectful but sometimes I deserve some respect as well. You will have the respect now that you have stood up for yourself - she will get over it.

I am proud of you. Sometimes you just have to stand your ground. My girls have voiced their opinions with me, and sometimes we just agree to disagree... no hard feelings... but with my mother, she was right even when she was wrong, and there were times where I just had to stand my ground and speek up. Dont feel bad, and the next time you talk to her, make a point to tell her you love her. After all... at the end of the day, that's what really matters.

Sometimes we have to let them know we need to do things our way not there's all the time.It took my mom over a month to get over our little spat about something but she finally started back to the old mom
like they say about us "she'll grow out of it" lol

Good job standing up for yourself! :-D

Good for you for standing up for yourself!

Good Advice. I hope she comes around and realizes how she is hurting your relationship.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Good for you!! Sending HUGS Your Way.

Good for you...a time comes when we have to stand up and take the welcome mat off our backs and put it back where it belongs...

Re-read the quote you have on the bottom of your entry and think about them and see how they may apply to your situation with your Mom.

Andie :D

My favorite quote from the "real" Dear Abby was:

"If you lie down and act like a doormat, don't kvetch if somebody steps all over you."

You didn't and she probably won't again.

My Mom criticized me for years no matter wat I did or said or made. Made a lot of my clothes. I would show up in something I made and she would say, thats pretty where did you get that. So I learned after many tears and hurt feeling to ignore her needy mouth. I know she loved me she just had to say something. She played us kids off each other to. I caught on early. It took years for my sister to figure it out. I thought she new,I don't know if my brother ever caught on.

Good for you...Quilt the way you want...Its your creative outlet...

Good for you. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.

I'm sorry you had to do this with your mom but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself. You go, girl.

I am glad you were able to release all that frustration in a positive way - and you have a beautiful quilt as a result. I love th black and white.

Good Job... It's hard, for sure.

I hate to say that I was up into my 50's before I finally said "NO" to my matriarchal mother. I was expecting the sky to open up and a bolt of lightening to come and strike me dead..... it didn't and everytime I said no to her after that, it became easier. We finally ended up with her respecting my "adulthood", yes, even at 50.....

I think we should send Deanna a big quilt HUG! Your mom will 'get it' or not, but today you took your independence back. Good Girl. Cheating indeed..... :thumbup:

I think you did the right thing. I think if I had told my Mom how I felt and that she was unfair to always criticizing me, I would have had a different relationship with her. As it was, she died without us ever connecting as adults,even tho we shared the same interests in handwork. I did learn never to criticize my kids, so lesson learned even tho it was painful

wooo hoo. You go girlfriend. I know it had to be hard for you to speak to your Mom so boldly, but I am SO PROUD of you. You stood up for yourself against your biggest critic. Maybe she will think twice now before being so critical of you. Reading your post brought a smile to my face. Now, believe me, I truly believe in respect for our parents, but it took you doing what you did to stand up for yourself. Hold your head high, my friend!!!!! Big hugs, as always, Sandy

Mum or not. Some days you just have to say it like it is.

Along w/all the others, you didn't allow yourself to be intimidated by your Mom! Hooray! You are no longer six years old! Now maybe your response was the beginning for your Mom to realize it too. Continue to stick up for yourself. It sounds like there were more than one person in your sewing group that felt the same way, but have not wanted to cause a ruckus within your group by locking horns with your Mom. Here's to your new beginning w/your Mom and hope she realized she has had a daughter for a long time now, no longer a child! Who knows, she may even realize she has a new best friend! Patty

Good for you! Keep up the good work.

you should go make up with her. you have no control over anyone else and should accept her for who she is. it took a recovery group to get me back with my Mom because we were always down each others throats. then she got real sick and died and i am so glad that I let her be her and kept my knose out of her business you would be surprized when she starts bitching at you and you start saying the serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I would say that while she was gripping at me and we would end up laughing. She has been gone for 11 years, I still miss the bitching,lol

Way to demand respect! Good for you!.

Good for you. You should not let anyone intimidate you and it does feel good to get it off your chest. I have done that and boy it was such a relief. Keep up the good work and don't fall back into the control trap.

You did GOOD. Your Mom will probably never change her mind about the rules of quilting and that is ok. She simply needs to understand that you go by a different set of rules. If she starts in again on you about anything that she disapproves of you doing maybe you could tell her that while you love her very much you have chosen your own way in life and you would rather not hear about it again. My Mom is very special and never tells anyone what to do or not to do so I am blessed. But, I had to deal with my DMIL about some things while she was with us. I do miss her though. She could be sweet at times. She just liked things her way and her way usually wasn't mine. Be proud of yourself and it should be easier next time.

So proud of you, big hug from Austalia.