Hi everyone. Thank you all for all the kind words. I appreciate all of them.
I thought I would give you an update on this post.

Today I went to my little sewing group like I do every Tuesday at noon. I was actually a little bit nervous to go because I have done alot of "soul searching" this past week with the help of everyones posts and I wasn't sure what I was going to say to my mom when I pulled out "THAT" Quilt.

So, I decided to make a Beach Ball Quilt and took that with me and tried to do the machine stitching all around it...hey that was pretty cool and I had lots of fun doing it. I got 5 of the 13 done. So I guess thats not too bad. Oh and I used Black and a zig zag stitch. Not really sure I like it, but hey its the first one and I figure it is a practice quilt anyways. I WILL make another one of them for sure.
Anyways, I took that Beach Ball quilt AND I took "That" quilt too. When I got "tired" of doing the Beach Balls, I put it away and I pulled out "That" Quilt, spread it out on one of the tables, kind of to check and see if I needed to do any more tying which I didn't. But my mother came out of the bathroom and saw it spread out on the table and she wobbled over as fast as she could and picked up on of the sides and said "I CANT BELIEVE YOU WENT AHEAD AND CHEATED". My heart started Racing, my blood pressure was rising, I could feel the anger circulating through my body and then I opened MY BIG FAT MOUTH....and told her.....
Oh man I thought she was going to deck me.....
I said "YOU ARE NOT THE QUILT POLICE....If I wanted the Police to come and check my work I would call the Quilting Boards Police Department." She looked at me and said "WHO?" So I repeated it, she was dumbfounded hadnt a clue what I was talking about. LOL. Then as she started to walk away, I said to her....ITS MY QUILT AND I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT to it and YOU WILL NOT tell me how to do it. If I screw it up I SCREW IT up!!! She says "Who told you that you can fold over the backing like that anyways". My response was "Before sewing Machines were invented, the old ladies did everything by hand EVEN Tied their quilts. And THEY couldn't afford to go out and buy extra fabric just to cut up and resew it onto a quilt when there was enough to fold over." And I was very stern and had my feet plastered to the floor waiting for a slap or something for talking to her that way. But it never came. I think I took her totally by surprise. Took ME by surprise too.One of the ladies that goes and normally is very quiet raised her voice and said....WELL DONE DEANNA. Wow!!! Good for you for standing up to your mom like you did. And my mom didnt say not one more word to me for the rest of the afternoon, until she was walking out the door and again said "Thats Cheating" under her breath. Me and this ladie shes a doll and I love her dearly had a good chat afterwards. Because I really did feel bad about talking to my mom that way, BUT...IT DID FEEL GOOD. Thanks everyone for your advice. Oh and she hasnt called or texted me at all since 4:00pm when she left and its now 8:30pm so maybe shes thinking about what I said. Who knows. LOL ")

I am proud of you, even though I hate conflict. Sometimes, you have to stand up for yourself, and it's really hard when it is your mom....

way to go girl

There is a time we have to stand up for ourselves even to our moms. Glad someone was there to cheer you on.

Oh Deanna that had to feel so good and so bad at the same time. Good for you for standing up and following it up after it was over with at talk. She will come around you told her the truth and you were right. Well done for standing your ground.

(((HUGS))) We need to be able to set boundaries, and that is what you did tonight :wink: No one has the right to talk to you like that. Stand your ground, be strong :D:D:D

((((((HUGS))))))) Good for you!! Always stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

Good job! Thats very difficult to do and I am glad someone there stood up for you!

How dO those "big girl panties" feel? I am proud of you for taking back your creativity in such a nice way.

I'm so very proud of you for standing your ground and for standing up for yourself. If I had your address I'd send you a beginners quilt book which clearly shows that such ways of finishing a quilt are not only valid but a historic way of doing things. Clearly she needs to learn much more herself if she really believes that her way is the only way of doing things. It isn't "new fangled" either. I can show you books with copyrights from anywhere between the 40's through present date that show these techniques. Good for you! Don't let her get to you - and you just keep on being happy!!!! (((HUGS))) Stay strong!

Explosive blessings, abundance and inspiration to you all!
- The Creative Seamstress

Kudos to you! I'm all about being respectful to others; however, there are some folks in this world that refuse to allow you to be so..... and you have to draw the line. Sounds to me like you drew the line today!

{{Smiles}}

Good for you! I bet you feel better too, now!

How do u get the horse and smile faces on here, would love to do a dog

I see u r from Wisconsin, Go Pack Go.....I live about 30 m. from Green Bay, not sure where u r

Mom or not, she should have kept her opinion to herself. You should be proud of yourself for stating the truth.

Everyone does quilting different, that's what makes it so great. I do binding like that on some of my quilts because I like the way it looks and feels.

Keep quilting the way you want your quilts to be.

Yea! You stood up for yourself and it's a beginning. Just continue to sand firm on your decisions and your stress level will decrease and life in general will improve. This goes for everyone, not just your mother.

Good for you. My Mom is very opinionated about everything I do also. She can dish it , but cant take. I dont like confrontation, recently she made a big scene in public. I ended up very politely but firmly telling her I am all grown up and I do things my way now. She wasnt happy about that, but now she holds her tongue. lol Keep strong, and keep quilting your way.

The New England Quilt Museum in Lowell,Mass. exhibits many quilts.tied and other wise,bindings no bindings. Pls also check out the Smithsonian Institute in Washington Dc and a good look will show your method of finishi ng a quilt. pab

Good for you! Isn't it awful that even when we are in our 50's & 60's our mothers have the power (given by us!) to have us shaking!

I'll bet that if she ever does talk with you again, there will be a little more respect from her.

(((hugs))))

Just had to laugh at myself. My 40+ DD lives next door with her family, but whenever we go out on errands and stuff, I always ask her if she needs to go potty first! So now SHE asks ME and we both laugh.

Good for you. I have had to do this about a few "issues" when my mom gets critical of how I do something. Usually it is with how to "handle" my marriage. If it were up to her, I would be divorced and living in a house right next to them where she could daily tell me what I am doing wrong as a parent.

As much as we love our moms, I really believe they need to be reminded that we are our own persons and are capable of making decisions without needing their advice and opinions every step of the way. By telling your mom what you did, you reaffirmed that you are your own person and have every right to do your quilt the way you want, regardless of her perceptions of what is "cheating." The only "cheating" in quilting in my book is when you take credit for someone else's work (as in a quilt swap block quilt or something of that nature and you claim the quilt as your own work.)

Don't cave and call her. Don't apologize. That is probably why she hasn't called you yet. She probably wants you to take the blame for her behavior and by not talking to you, is hoping you will start to feel guilty. DON'T!

Bravo and well done! Hopefully, she will realize that her way isn't the only way. (I'm sew glad my mom doesn't sew, that's one problem with her I don't have) Bless you and your quilting. Keep on keepin on...

Well...looks like you're "all growed up" now! Seriously though, this issue was really bothering you and you did your research, sought advice, stuck to your guns and stood up for yourself. This is a good thing, it shows maturity, something that doesn't always come with adulthood. Don't worry, your mother will get over it....she sounds like a tough cookie. Anyway, you did it....now enjoy your quilting...whichever way you decide to do it.

Sorry your mom felt she needed to be you "quilt police"and call you out in public. I think you did the right thing by standing up for yourself! It's hard to have a mom who is so critical of what you do - stand your ground!

Just remind your mom kindly each time you see her that doing things differently from what she does doesn't mean you are cheating.

Apparently she thinks she should still have control over your life. Just keep standing up for yourself as kindly as possible. Eventually she will learn to keep her mouth shut.

Can you show us the pictures of both the quilts? I love pictures:). Also, way to go! I've been putting up with my mom way too long. Her comments were along the lines of " why would anyone want to cut up all that fabric just to sew it back together again?" after I made her a quilt. Guess how many more she's gotten? (0)if you couldn't figure it out........

I'm glad that you were able to stand up for yourself. I had a difficult time learning to do that with my own mother. My adult daughter and I were talking the other day about what you were going through and I was sort of checking to make sure that I wasn't stepping over her boundaries.
I have always tried to respect boundaries with my children but I know that there must be times when I've step over their boundaries.

I think that sometimes mothers don't really understand how they sound to their adult children. I know that my mother didn't realize how she sounded when she "instructed" me on what she thought was best.
laughing...I'm going to be 59 in a few days, married for 29 years and have raised my own children plus a step-daughter, and a neice. My mother is 92. She still tries to instruct me, but I now just thank her for her opinion and I will think about what she said and then make the decision that is best for me. :)

People live a long time on my mother's side of the family. A funny story happened when I was in my mid 20's. My 72 year old aunt came to visit my 93 year old grandmother. My grandmother lived right behind us so that we could look after her. One morning, my aunt came into the house laughing. She asked my mother to give her a cup of coffee because my grandmother (her mother) told her she drank too much coffee and shouldn't have anymore that day.


:lol: :lol:

Warm thoughts from across the pond.

I am glad that you stood up for yourself. I hope that your mom will understand and this will not cuase issues.

Just one question....Who are the Quilt Police on the QB?? I have not found them.

Kyia

Congratulations and BIG HUGS!!!! Maybe now she will realize that you are an adult now, not a little kid. I am SO proud of you. Just one more thing, and believe me I am DEADLY serious about this: If she EVER raises a hand to you, you need to tell her that if she dares to strike you, you will have her arrested for battery. And then follow through with it if she does. NOBODY has the right to strike you, even her. Period!

Of course if it were me, I would simply smile and say "Before you hit me, you'd better tell me which hospital ER you prefer to be taken to." But then, I'm a critical care nurse, and I know how to hurt 'em so they can't be fixed! Or so I tell 'em! LOL :shock:

I am very proud of you. It isn't easy to stand up to anyone, especially your mother. Speaking up does make us feel better, and you did it in a nice way. Good luck.

Well done.I know it is hard to stand up for yourself especially when it is your mother, but there are no quilt police and the quilt is yours to do with as you please and finish it as you please. AS said before there are no quilt police.

I'm glad you were able to take that important step. It took a lot of courage. Even when you know in your heart you are right, it is so hard to defend yourself against a parent. With luck you mom will recognize that you are your own person and maybe you two will evolve into a better relationship from this.

Hi Sandee. The quilt this discussion is about is in my avatar. Its a black and white fabric frenzy. I just started on the Beach Ball Quilt yesterday so it will be a while before I can post it. :)

I'm so proud of you, that you were able to tell your Mom exactly what was on your mind!

If she's like a lot I know, next comes Act 2 - cold shoulder and guilt trip! Do NOT apologize for standing up for yourself! Invite her out for coffee, and if she decides to make a mountain out of a mole-hill - that is her choice.

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I know you live in a small town and it is such a shame you cannot join a group that does not have your mother in it. She sounds like a domineering person and you will look back with pride on the day you stood up to her!
Dont cave in to her controling "now I'm not talking to" behaviour either. You know that is just another way of trying to control you.

Nest time she tries it, why not laugh in her face? "Oh Mom you crack me up- look everyone! My mom still thinks she can tell me what to do and I am a grown woman! Do I look eighteen? Oh quick, bring me a mirror- We have great genes- we all look young in our family- isn't that right Mom? What a crack up" And walk away from her. She will never be done trying to control your life.

Even with your mother you have to set boundaries, good for you. Sometimes standing up to the bully it what it takes. I am really proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.

You sometimes have to take the road less traveled and stand up for yourself. I definately think you should feel good about yourself. Conflict is always hard, but sometimes when you stand up for yourself once, you will find you may not have to do it again!! Do things the way you want to..it doesn't matter, it's your quilt and I really like your way of binding and may do it myself!! :D

You go girl!!! Your mom should be proud of you for the work you do. Some daughters never learn anything from their mothers. I learned from my mother and grandmother and now my daughter is learning from me. I don't criticize her work, just offer her new ideas of making things easier for her. I would definitely always help her even if she was folding over the binding. I know I've done that myself. I hope your mother reliazes what a gem she has for a daughter!!

I am proud of you. You had to do it.