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deborahscanlon 01-12-2021 03:51 PM

Validation
 
I'll be 63 years old this year and have been sewing since I was about 10 years old. My whole life my mother always validated my creativity and loved what I made. She was my biggest fan. She was always so proud that I could make plain ole things beautiful. I have lots of friends but none that sew or quilt. Now that my mother is gone, I so miss the validation that my efforts and talents are worthwhile. Do you need someone to tell you that what you make is beautiful, wanted and worth the effort to create? I create because I love doing it but lately more often than not, I'm missing the joy of completing something because I don't have someone to share it with. I know I could join a guild but the only ones near me aren't convenient for me to attend. Just wondering how others get past this.

Maggie_Sue 01-12-2021 04:00 PM

I am wondering if you could post photos of your finishes and we could all enjoy them and let you know how beautiful they are!!!
I too enjoyed hearing about how much my mother enjoyed the items I made. Sadly I lost her this past October!!!

Three Dog Night 01-12-2021 04:38 PM

Please post here, we love to see everyone's projects whether you are a beginner or an expert. Also a great place to ask for opinions and tips.

leheath8 01-12-2021 04:40 PM

I totally understand the desire for validation. My parents are my biggest fans, but I am also lucky enough to have a best friend who also quilts and she celebrates my work just as I celebrate hers. I tend to be very critical of my own work, so positive feedback from others really helps me keep things in perspective!

I think Maggie_Sue's suggestion of sharing here is great, although I don't see too many other's doing so (but maybe I'm not looking in the right place?). However, I have also found that the various quilting Facebook groups I have joined are even better. Lots of people share their most recent projects - sometimes asking for suggestions or advice on one thing or another, but often just sharing a photo of their work. The groups are filled with quilters of all sorts and experiences so I enjoy the appreciative, knowledgeable audience. That said, I also share my work on my regular Facebook page and the vast majority of my friends know nothing about quilting, yet still make positive comments on my photos. So, if you don't have Facebook (or even if you do!) I encourage you to share with your non-quilting friends (maybe just starting with the closest ones) as you may be pleasantly surprised by their responses.

cjsews 01-12-2021 04:43 PM

Yes, that kind word does help. Do you make quilts that can be donated? The recipients can be so grateful. And depending on where you donate, a lot of places will send a heartfelt thank you card. Makes every moment at the sewing machine worth it. It is extra special if you are there to witness the gifts being given.

Maire 01-12-2021 04:47 PM

I go to several sewing related group on Facebook that are great, you can find one related to the type of sewing you do, or sewing machine brand, people show photos of their creations. If you have a favorite sewing celebrity do a search for them on Facebook, most likely they will have a Facebook page, some even host Zoom meetings. I'm 81 and love belonging and participating in these groups, especially now with the isolation due the Pandemic. Today I visited, along with others, through Zoom, Mark Lipinski, a quilting celebrity, lots of fun and laughs and creative ideas.

dunster 01-12-2021 05:38 PM

Yes, please do post here, but I don't think online validation can take the place of in-person visits with other quilters.

Many guilds have what my guild calls friendship groups. They may be called something else, but they are simply relatively small groups of quilters who get together on a semi-regular basis for one purpose or another. To belong to a friendship group you don't always have to be a member of the guild. My friendship group is composed of people who quilt on a frame. At our meetings we eat and talk about just about everything, but our most important activity is show and tell. Other groups may be interested in a specific skill, such as applique, or they may get together to work on quilts for charity. And some are just friends who like to get together and talk about quilting.

Many churches, senior centers, and quilt shops also provide times for quilters to get together. If you call around, you may find more opportunities than you could have imagined.

Mdegenhart 01-12-2021 05:53 PM

I don’t need the validation, but I have wished so many times that my grandmother was still alive. She was a fabulous seamstress and very creative and she would have loved that I took up quilting. I’ve wanted to tell her all about it so many times.

SusieQOH 01-12-2021 06:14 PM

I have quite a large family but I'm the only one who sews so everyone thinks I make masterpieces! (believe me, I don't). However, it does feel good when someone admires my work, especially people I'm close to. I made my cousin a quilt for Christmas and she went wild- her exact words were "It's a masterpiece!!!" Okay, if she thinks so that's fine with me :)
My Mom was probably my biggest fan and she died in 2019. I still want to show her things and of course make things for her. She always made me feel like a million bucks. My Dad did too. Ugh- It's hard.
About parents- when I lost my Dad ( he died before my Mom) a very good friend told me "You don't get over it but you learn to live with it". She was so right.

quiltingshorttimer 01-12-2021 06:53 PM

interesting thread as some of my quilt buddies and I on a Zoom call were talking about getting feedback on our quilts and whether that was comfortable or not. Not quite same as validation, but do think both alike in respect of not keeping our creativity tucked in the back room.
I'd suggest you re-check with the area guilds--while they may not have been convenience before the pandemic, many are undergoing some change as result of need to socially isolate. One of the guilds I'm in has totally shut down, the other switched to Zoom meetings in April and we've had 2 distanced (one outside, the other in a huge auditorium with 15 people!)but we've even done some workshops via Zoom. Since speakers are via Zoom, we've combined our 2 meetings into one via Zoom--so we are seeing members that don't usually attend due to not driving at night, work, etc. You may find a guild that is meeting via Zoom that works for you.


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