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How about just sending her a note. Compliment her on her years of service and that your guild realizes that it is asking too much of her to be vp with her health problems. Assure her there will be a place for her when she feels better and can get back to meetings. Period, no hurt feelings you are concerned only for her.
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When is your next election of officers? If its not too far off, I'd just wait and let her be voted out.
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Please don't be so judgemental of your VP, unless you know exactly what's going on in her life. Just proceed with your guild activities and get someone else to help out with the VP duties. Then next year, elect a new VP. How about a little charity that's close to home!
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Send her a get well card/miss you card, signed by as many of your guild members as you can gather (at one meeting), let her know she will be welcome back as a regular guild member when ever she is able to return. no hard feelings.... she may be embarrassed to be missing so many meetings, and just not know how to get out of it.. .dignity intact !! be kind to one another. !!!! LIFE HAPPENS !!!
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Elections can't be far off.....hang in there, then replace her with a reliable someone who wants the position.
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Originally Posted by Yankeegirl
(Post 7109881)
I agree with toverly - just let it go for now. However make sure at your meetings that you figure out who will be VP next year so the problem will be solved lol.
not as she's treated your group but as you'd like to be treated yourself. Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me. Your voice is your vote since there are no written rules. Talking about her behind her back only stirs up the other members and churns your stomach. |
I may have missed this, but has anyone asked her what's going on or if she wants to be replaced? In my guild this would have been a big deal because our VP is program chairperson. I think I would want to have several members meet with her in a casual, neutral setting and ask what she wants. If she honestly says she wants to continue or resign proceed accordingly. I just hope she's honest and doesn't use the situation to manipulate you. That happened in my guild. In that case it was a committee chair and others took over critical jobs until the new year and she was not reappointed. Good luck. I just hate these very issues regarding guild life.
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Okay, hope this clears up a few things. This lady lives next door to my sister-in-law who is our guilds secretary. There are 2 other ladies who live in the same apartment complex and the 4 of them get together quite often for a meal or to go somewhere together. They see each other every day and check up on each other and I hear from my sister-in-law what this lady pulls with them and others. The guild isn't the only one that she's pulled this situation on. She did the same thing with her church, whined because she needed a new bed, the church bought her one and now she doesn't even attend services there. She also whined when the church didn't appoint her to a committee she had been on in the past (they didn't want her back) so to keep her happy they re-appointed her. I could go on. We meet at her church and she holds the key to the building, so when we have a meeting we have to get the key from her. I could go on. She has the "poor me" attitude and nobody else has ever been in her situation. Our election isn't until November, last election she said she wanted to keep the VP position so she was re-elected, nobody else had a nomination or spoke up that they wanted VP. We haven't seen her at the last 6 meetings/activities since. I have wonderful officers and members who have stepped up to help however they can, so I do believe after reading all the advice here, we should just let it go and see if or when she shows up and wonders why her position isn't recognized. She does have some health issues and I understand that, I myself have back problems but haven't let that stopped me.
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I totally agree. Let her know your intentions and give her options. I would out of courtesy do it in writing with every ones ok and each member gets a copy. You could take a vote on it. but do it in writing and still welcome her when she's there. I didn't join the local guild this year for many reasons and those are obligations to be there. I like being independent. And the last couple times I went as a guest then turned down because of being a member one didn't like that I wasn't going to put up with a bully so I said I was done. But give her a heads up in writing with everyone's approval.
Originally Posted by joe'smom
(Post 7109844)
I think the decent thing would be for someone to give her a heads up by phone, that the subject of her non-attendance is going to be discussed at the next meeting. It would be awkward and humiliating to spring it on her in the group without warning, should she attend, and not really proper, imo, to discuss her in her absence if she's not been informed that her behavior is a matter of concern. Imagine how you'd like it handled if it were you being discussed, and use that as a guide.
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Being on several boards, I totally agree that you need to have it in the by-laws. This stops most hurt feelings. If you don't have by-laws, make them. They can be as simple as one page stating what your group's mission is, when ad where you meet, how and when to elect officers, requirements for those officers and how to add or remove officers. At a later date you can amend and add more.
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Originally Posted by NJ Quilter
(Post 7110109)
I do not belong to a quilting guild but I do belong to a fire company auxiliary. I have held every office except VP for a total longer-running period than any other member of the organization in it's history (over 100 yrs). I do not say this to pat myself on the back, just as background. I do not know if quilting guilds generally are much different from other charitable organizations so if there are guild-specifics of which I am unaware, I apologize.
I agree with Jan in that your organization should have some sort of by-laws where officers' absences are addressed. I also agree with the poster who suggested having a conversation with the offending officer prior to discussion at a meeting. In our auxiliary we have had 'personnel issues' as well. We do have by-laws addressing the above (as well as other) situation specifically but I also believe it is addressed in Robert's Rules of Order - which is our defined default if an issue is not specified in our by-laws. What we have done with a similarly inclined person (non-officer) in our organization, was to have an Executive Board meeting to discuss the issue and potential resolutions. A formal letter was then sent to the offending party, outlining the behaviors that were found to be unacceptable, and a request for a face-to-face meeting with that person and the E-board. That meeting and it's result were never discussed during an open membership meeting. Did that meeting resolve the issue? For a short period of time. That member is still a royal pain in the butt. It did, however, leave the opening for further actions on the auxiliary's part to deal with the problem. Just my suggestion. |
As a member of a large quild with many different personalities, I second (pun intended) that your group consider developing some by-laws regarding officers, elections, etc. Our guild has referred back to our by-laws on several occasions--when it's there in writing, it make the "answer" easy to decide and enforce.
I do hope you nix the idea bringing it up in the meetings with or without her being there. Both would put her in a very hurtful position. If the consensus among the officers is to deal with her absence before your Nov. elections, I'd suggest that a couple of you meet with her privately and express your concerns AND offer her a face-saving way out. If that doesn't work then you need to wait until Nov. since you have no by-laws (and recourse, other than being cruel). You mention both that she has the key to the church you meet at--it might be wise to ask the church for another key since she isn't able to attend meetings. And also that she doesn't drive due to no car--is it possible that she feels uncomfortable always asking for rides? or that the reason she's always there for free fabric is that she can not afford to quilt otherwise? As a mental health professional, it sounds to me that this woman truly wants to remain involved, but because of health reasons--both mental and/or physical, she isn't able to be actively involved. If her position is not vital to the functioning of the Guild, then I would try kindness and understanding first. |
As president of the group you are in a position to get the group better organized. This will make lots of things better & serve the group well.
Rather than pointing out her default, use a couple of meetings to pass simple by-laws. Even dues like a dollar a month, material collecting & storage, etc. once the rules are in place - including consequences, let everyone start fresh. If she doesn't abide by the rules, institute the consequences. Perhaps she could have a title of founding member & not expected to attend. I can't drive so I have to ask for rides. I find I'm lots more eager to go if someone calls & volunteers to take me. I would get some ideas for organizing by reading by-laws of other groups on the internet. Perhaps there is something there that only needs tweeking. |
Originally Posted by nstitches4u
(Post 7112150)
In order for a quilt guild to keep it's tax exempt status, Bylaws and Standing Rules are a requirement.
Forget the guild idea, it is not just something to call yourselves, there are specific rules and regulations and tax considerations and the government involved. Do you gather to run a business, or to quilt? |
Originally Posted by KalamaQuilts
(Post 7113198)
with only 6-12 members I'd deep six the whole idea of officers and meet somewhere else. Many businesses have meeting rooms available to the public at no charge, I know a bank here and the PUD electric co does. Does the apartment bldg where your members live have a meeting room? Many small groups here on the board use the library.
Forget the guild idea, it is not just something to call yourselves, there are specific rules and regulations and tax considerations and the government involved. Do you gather to run a business, or to quilt? |
I would contact her by phone and ask her if she thinks she should step down. Life happens, and if she is too ill to attend, then maybe she should do the stepdown. This way she has a way to feel that it is her decision. Then be sure that you cover this issue in the future with a bylaw
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