Sabrinaquilts: My life long dream was quilting and here I am quilting anything my heart desires, thanks to books, dvd's and this quilting board. I also had a dream to play the piano and God and I accomplished that too, along with the guitar, banjo and a little mandolin. The harmonica is the very easiest instrument to play for anyone probably. Every quilter on this board especially for relaxation should try the harmonica. It is really good for your lungs, especially if you have breathing problems.

I am not good at sight reading either. I just sight read when I see a song on sheet music just simple notes to get the tune if I don't know how a song goes. I play by ear, and I 'm not the greatest at that. My husband and I both love to play music. I am trying to teach my grandkids all that I know, that goes for quilting and knitting too.

So stick in there with your dream Sabrinaquilts. Just practice everytime you walk by your piano even if it just standing up and for a minute. Don't get burned out, keep it fun. ;)

Well guess what? I just sit down and tried knitting the dishcloth that Tuesay posted and it came back to me. I didn't know if I even remembered how to cast on. Thanks Tuesay, I made a couple of mistakes, but it'll do. They are the best dishclothes in the world to use. I am gonna make another one now. (My longarm is sick at the moment, another part is on the way.) Love you guys! :)

I have this problem too. I think mine is having to work on customer's quilts all the time and not on something for my family or myself.

Sabrina, I think part of your problem is that you have four little boys to cope with all of the time. I raised 3 children (full time mom for a good part of it, too) and rarely had time to do anything for myself. Maybe, the issue is being just tired of doing all of the "have to's" in your life and that there just isn't enough quality time left right now to do something for yourself.

Just my thoughts......for what it's worth

(that and I would check with your therapist to see if any meds would be helpful....)

This made me laugh for a long time. Thanks!

No, you are right. I need to get out. I just don't have the opportunity. Nobody wants to watch 4 boys for free not even our own family and friends. They are not hard to babysit except for the 3 year old. It is just the number of kids. If you add my kids on top of the number they have their own, it is like the "Sound of Music." It is my 3 year old that I really need to get away from. He is very needy and must be watched like a hawk. He is good at problem solving and he is mechanically inclined that he is too smart for his own good. He is getting better but you still don't want to leave him alone too long. I was reading "Winn-Dixie" book to two of my kids when I realized the house is uncannily silent. We found my 3 year old stuffing paper towels into the toilet just to see if it will look just like toilet paper. Luckily he has not flushed. :|

Sabrina,
I really feel for you having to always be the care giver to your children and not having time for anything else. I have three kids that are now old enough and on there own but when they were little my husband worked during the week so I was home all the time with the kids. My youngest was like your 3 year old and I had to know at all times were he was at the same age your son is. He decided to take the headlights out of car and he was to smart for his age. It was so hard not to be able to go places that I wanted to. My husband was always doing what he wanted even on weekends. I finely told him that he was being so unfair and we talked and agreed that we would take turns every other saturday to go do things. Maybe talk with your husband to see if he would help you out and watch the kids for a day.

What about asking your husband to take the boys to the park for several hours and then to lunch? By the time they get home, they will be ready for a nap. But you have to make sure that you actually quilt, not pick up or do laundry. You need and deserve some time to yourself.

I have four too and I remember when they were little. It was overwhelming at times and I felt like I was just disappearing into everyone else's needs. You need to remember that your needs are just as important. It's not selfish - it's necessary.

Go to a quilt show if you can, me I look on the internet, as quilt shows are not a option for me. God bless. Penny

There is no doubt that being a mom is very difficult. Anyone who has raised kids knows that. It is even more difficult when you don't have much money to spend, or much help.

That was the story of my life. I had my young children, my husband traveled with his work, when he was home he was in college and in the Navy reserve. I struggled at home alone most of the time because even if he was at home he was busy doing the things he needed to do.. Study.. go away on a drill weekend.. go to class.. and go to work. We had no grandparents, no aunts or uncles.. no family around us at all. There was no help.. ever! So I really do know what you are facing.

The truth of the matter is that you are your children's mother.. the only one they have. They are children, and you must take care of them. That's the bottom line.. but you already know that..

This is the good news, that time passes. Everything in our lives is for a season. Seasons come and they go. Not many of us really know what we're signing up for when we have our children.... I know at times it can be a burden. But when it is remember this. That time while they're young passes by.. it is only one season of many.. Most of us with grown children will tell you it passes too quickly.

Decide to make the most of it, enjoy them everyday. Put aside the things you can't do right now, without regret.. Raising a family is the very best thing you can spend your time on right now. Tomorrow will be here in just a few hours.. The time will pass. I can promise, you will never look back and wish you had done less of a job when it comes to raising your children right.

It really won't be that long until they will move on and if you spend this time well, you'll have lots of happy times to look back on. If you mourn over the things you can't do right now, you may miss the biggest joy of all.. Raising boys into loving, caring men.

Our country and our families need men that know how to be men, who know what's right, who can stand on their own two feet, who can be loyal and trustworthy and honest... You are the biggest influence in their life. What you do every day will make a difference in what kind of people those boys grow to be.

Don't waste your energy worrying about what you have to set aside, what you have to do now is the most important job of your life. I know the days get long, but they are only long while you're in them.. When they are past you'll look back and feel like a lot of us do.. that they went too fast!

There will be plenty of time to quilt and scrapbook and play your piano.. but the time with your boys is limited.. make the most of it. Spend your time and energy finding what you can do with them right now. If you do that, then tomorrow will take care of itself.

I'm not sure I can agree with Judie. Or maybe I am just too selfish to agree. I don't think that you should be aside everything that is "yours" while your kids are small. I think it is important that they are a priority in your world, but not your whole world. It's important for them and for you.

It really is your choice and you have to decide what is right for you. With four kids, you could have them (or at least one) in the 'kid' phase for 17 to 20 years. That is too long to put aside what you want to do for you. I always took time for things that I liked to do when my kids were young and I don't regret it at all now that they are older. And they turned out fine, if I do say so myself.

I think if you want to put other things aside and concentrate on them when they are young, that's great. But if that makes you feel resentful and like you are losing who you are as a person, then it's fine to have things that are just for you. Make the best choice for YOU and that will make you a better mother because you'll be happier.

And at the risk of really being controversial, you have a right to insist that your husband take his turn at being responsible for the children to give you a break.

oh my, I do agree.. I think he (daddy) should feel just as responsible as mom.. after all he is the other half to the equation!!

and by the way IrishNY, I fully agree with you, that each of us has to decide what's best for your family.. I told my friends when I had babies, and I tell my kids now that they have babies.. you have to decide what's best for you and them... that's one of the reasons God gives us all our own children to raise in the way we think is best...

On the other hand, I also think young mothers that are snowed under need to stop and realize, this too shall pass.. having babies is only for a time. They grow, too quickly.

Every season in life has it's special time, the tick to life is to enjoy that time while you're in it.. If it's young babies, take the time to enjoy them.. if they are gone, enjoy your freedom.. If you're single enjoy that time.. if you're married, enjoy you mate.. All these things come and go.. only you stay.. so you have to know what you want and what makes life meaningful to you.

As far as babies or children go... if you make a decision out of love for them.. and not out of anger or frustration, or out of tiredness, but out of love, then you will mostly likey make a good decision. May not be the decision that someone else would make, but it will be for their good, not your convenience, and it will be the best for them at the time. None of us are perfect, but no one is better for children than a mother who loves them.. and a father who loves them and their mother!

I love this forum.. It's a great place to find lots of different ideas and ways of doing things. We all benefit from the different things said. At least I do. I'm so glad for the exchange of ideas and help. what a great place!

As a mom of grown up kids, I would still emphasize it is important to "schedule" your special time to do activities you want to do. My son was like your three year old. If I couldn't see him, I ran because he was probably into something. (one time, he even cut the cat's whiskers off!!!!). They do need constant supervision. (mine didn't nap very well either......)

One thing that saved my life while I had kids at home was a babysitting cooperative. We had a group of about 10 moms with prek age kids and took turns babysitting for each other. If you sat kids, you earned points and if you left kids you lost points. It was a very "fair" arrangement and gave me an opportunity to do errands and sometimes even just going out to lunch without paying for babysitting.

If that kind of an arrangement is not possible, think about the people you know with children. Find another mom who would be willing to trade kids for one morning a week. Just imagine a whole morning to quilt or scrapbook without the worry of your kids!

And, as it has been mentioned before, Dad needs to do his duty. Set up specific times for yourself when Dad can watch the kids. (even if that means sewing at someone else's house). Having a specific time really will help you to plan what you want to do (and sometimes that may mean watching a favorite movie with no interuption or taking a nap!) I might add that it is just as important to have "couple" time without the kids. You just have no idea how busy you are raising kids right now. You will reflect on it when they are grown and wonder how in the world you did it all.

Let us know how everything is going. We really care and want to see you in the mood to sew! :lol:

Nope, My DH doesn't have a problem with me going out if I really want to. I have to keep in mind that the same problems I am having with my kids my husband does too. I would say more because the kids look at my husband as a big live toy. My 3 year old which he is 4 now wants only daddy when my DH is home. When there is a quilt class or club I really like he has no problem with me going. The problem lately has been that there is no classes or clubs that are doing patterns that interests me and my husband's traveling for his work has increased not to mention the boys' sports schedules. There isn't much time left for some me time for either of us. I understand what Judie is saying and I don't think she is saying to forget myself and just take care of the kids first. It is a balancing act. With the onslaught of the boys' sports I try to not plan too much further than when the season ends. After that the other side will look better.

I just wanted to add an update. I am doing much better now. I took the advice and got a pack of 5 and half inches square fabrics to sew together to make a charity quilt. I am doing this until it gets to the time of my class for my new sewing machine. That really helps because it sure is keeping me in the quilting mind set which is what I wanted. Many of you have reminded me to do and think about things that I have forgotten that puts a smile on my face. My cleaning lady reminded me that I only have a little over a year left before my youngest will be in kindergarten. When that happens I will have more time to devote to organizing and cleaning my house as well as living the life of a quilter. I was shocked to realized it was that short of a time. I think I just needed to update my timeline. Once again thank you everyone for caring enough to post your two cents worth. :thumbup:

LOL, I read a book. Sometimes a book on quilting sometimes a novel.

I just walk away from it for a while, the mood comes back sometimes after a little longer break than I would like. But its always come back.

Here is something I have done in the past. It may seem stupid, but it works. I imagine in my mind that I am quilting. I pick out a pattern, select fabrics, cut, sew, etc. in my mind, not in reality. Then I start to get excited about how it would look if I REALLY did start a new project. This has worked with quilting, crocheting, even house cleaning :0)