I tell people I will put them on my list. But, at this time the list is quite long.

After my step dad passed away I was over at my moms house helping her and my step sister clean out his clothing. My step sister said to just donate all the clothing. I asked if I could take some of the shirts and make a memory quilt for my mom. She said no problem. Her and I are only facebook friends. A couple of years later after I posted a picture of a quilt she put under the posting that I had taken a bunch of her dads clothes to make a quilt and she would like to have that quilt. Told her I made it for my mom and that she was more than welcome to the left over shirts. She than posted she wanted me to make the quilt that she did not do sewing. I than posted send me your address I will ship the left over fabric to you and you can find someone in organ to make the quilt for you. That it would probably run around 300 to 500 dollars to have someone cut up the scraps sew it together and than quilt it. Her response back was Oh never mind, I didn't want one that bad. If she would have said please do send them I will find someone to make it I would have done it for her for nothing because I knew she really wanted one or charged her and given the money to my mom. This was all after I had to pay for her dads funeral because there was no money to pay for it. Not one of the his five kids would give a cent for their dads funeral. All claimed they were broke.

I like your philosophy. I'll keep this in mind if the situation ever comes up.

If I get asked for a quilt that I don't really feel like making, I just think up a crazy price that WOULD motivate me to make the quilt. Usually it's ridiculously high, like $800 for a simple throw, and that (so far) has kept me from having to make anything I wouldn't otherwise want to make!

And if someone DID want to spend $800 for a simple throw...well, I could find a way to be motivated. LOL

I like your response. The opening puts you in a friendly light and it's final. It doesn't leave them thinking that you might do it later.

somebody asked me a few days ago to make a t-shirt quilt, my quote was $600 for a twin, $1,000 for a queen. :D They didn't think they could afford it. :shock:

I just tell them I make what I make when I want to make it. I don't do requests, take orders, custom work or anything like that at all. I'm not going to make what I like to do in my spare time take me to any kind of a stress booster.

Bwaaa haaa haaa!! Well if it's so dang simple and fast, why don't THEY do it?!!?!?!? Snort!

Isn't that the way it is.?

I like the idea of saying you have so much on your plate, you would never get to it. Suggest she visit her local LQS so she could either take lessons to do it herself or find someone local to do it. I wish I had been introduced to a local quilt shop much earlier. She'll either get the "bug" or get educated about what goes into it. If she gets it or not, if you don't want to do the quilt, don't.

I would simply say that you are already so over-committed with your own quilts that you would not be able to make them for 2-3 years or more, or simply state a figure that you know they would not pay, although they might surprise you. I understand your reluctance since you are not that close to your step sister, as I only make quilts for a handful of very, very dear friends and our bi-annual family reunion quilts. Just don't be afraid to say no.

I don't know what to say to family, because tell them it will be a long long time before it would be done. I do get them done eventually. For others I say I won't sell you one but I might give you one someday if they are really good friends. For others I say I am too committed all ready. Diane C

Do you think this just may be her way of trying to get closer with you? If you think so, then have her check out the fabric store prices for all the supplies you would need & let her know the price of the quilts would be at least double that for your time & labor. That would give her an idea of what they would cost to have made. Just a thought.

I'm sorry but I have too much going right now.

I have too many orders right now.

Any answer is good ...I have a niece who wanted a wall hanging....who said "I want you to make you to make it because it will be so much more special but I found it online for $60. I responded you better get it from them because saving that much money will be more special .

some people think that because you quilt ..you sit down and 15 minutes later its finished. And of course because they are so special...you'll just gift it to them. HA


Right now I am working on 4 quilts for a friend. She died at 52, last month, autopsy showed no reasons for death. She had bought fabric for her 3 children a quilt and a friend. She and husband have been friends of ours for over 30 years. I will gift these to them as a token of her love to them. No Charge. Because I want to not because I was asked. But to some people including family members I wouldn't make them a potholder.

I like this answer!

this is one reason I wouldn't make a quilt for pay, if I don't like the pattern or fabrics, I would have no interest or desire to make the quilt, it would become a drudgery and maybe even cause resentment.

My answer is usually "get in line, right now I am running about 2-3 years behind on commitments." This is usually accompanied by a wide grin to emphasize that I stand behind my procrastination. If you don't really care for these people you could ask them why they don't just go buy one.

That's backward thinking. If I wanted to get to know someone better "I" would make something for "her"...NOT ask "Her" to make something for "me"...let alone TWO somethings. NOT the way to start a relationship.

I take it that you don't WANT to make it. In that case, simply be polite and tell her that quilting is your hobby and you don't do it for others.

I will never have a niece or nephew. Instead, when my cousin's ex asked if I could make a quilt for their daughter, I just told her I would make a pinwheel or star quilt (sent her links so that she could see) and how much fabric she needed of the main plus complimentary fabrics. I had HER buy the fabric, batting and thread. I told her that I will be doing a simple meander because I'm pretty good at that and it will be done more quickly. I had twin sized quilt top done during the week and it took me a weekend to quilt it. Then 3 days to make binding and bind. All of this was done while listening to audiobooks, so it was like an non-effort. Believe me, you do a lot to grease the family wheels, if you can reasonably do it. I happen to like my cousin's ex too, which helps. Their split up was because he's a jerk.

Good point.

I think this can be a big problem for quilters, and saying no gracefully isn't always easy. Somehow those that don't quilt think it is very easy to whip up a quilt for them. I have found pointing out a store that offers quilt classes or having them look in their area for quilt classes saying it is a very rewarding hobby and telling them how much they might enjoy making them sometimes slows an asker down. But sometimes it is just a kind thing to do and in a way when someone asks for one of your specialty quilts it is a compliment and shows that they admire your work.

I love these kind of commitments! haha

You could say something like, Oh I couldn't take your money but I would love to trade hour for hour, my house always needs cleaning".

Since I mostly make comfort quilts for cancer patients, I say "Oh, do you have cancer?" That shuts up those that want a quilt! Also my daughter had a friend who married this past summer. She sent a message that she wanted me to make a quilt of her wedding dress. I told her it would be $1000.00 to buy additional fabric and pay for the quilting. She didn't bite on that as she wanted it for nothing.

I second this. I don't get into explaining how over booked I am. I tell them Target, etc. have some really nice quilts that are a good price.

I say "Sorry, I don't take requests". Then I sometimes add that it takes a lot of time and effort and supplies to make a quilt and I make lots of donation quilts. Or, I say
"only if you paint a room in my house and it will be lots cheaper for you and you will be finished first." Yikes! That is only for people who barely know me and have no boundaries. I have been asked to make a "custom" cover for fishing poles etc... !

i had to face this just yesterday from a friend i like very very much, but who wanted to use some of my fabrics and have me make a king sized quilt.

i listed the cost of everything, including the base price to long arm a quilt that size. even dropping any labour charge it was out of range for her (thankfully.)

it's so sticky. i never want to consider these things we make luxuries, but for the most part they really *are* luxuries. i started making them because i couldn't afford to buy them. i should try to keep that in mind :)

aileen

I have a couple of questions; 1) do you make quilts for others, 2) If you do, do you charge for them, 3) If you do, does she know that you do quilts for others. If your answers are "yes" then perhaps that will influence how you respond. Sometimes I will have to admit to family or friend that I am just not comfortable doing something. It is the truth and they will normally accept that response. Good luck. I know how difficult these types of situations can be. I agree with Jan in VA, to try and keep your response sweet and sincere. Hopefully, we have helped you through this situation. Yolanda

I always say, "Oh sure I'd be happy to <b>teach you</b> how to do it!" Acting like I've completely misunderstood what they meant. My philosophy is that I will make the time to teach them how, but I won't spend my time doing it for them unless they plan on sitting and keeping me company. The one exception being my Mother-in-Law or my Aunt, they do a lot to help us out in different ways, so I don't mind (too much) doing it for them.

I smile sweetly and say that I don't make "request" quilts. I continue by saying that I don't make quilts for sale. "The first quilt I sell will be the last quilt I make, because then it becomes work and not something I do for pleasure." You would be surprised how many replies I have gotten that "Oh just one time won't hurt." I then explain that I am retired. If I have to make a quilt that is a pattern that someone else wants, fabrics/colors of their choice, and have a time frame it would become a job. I say that there would be nothing in that quilt that I want. I keep smiling the entire time. I do make quilts that I give to family and friends and even friend's dogs! When I make quilts, they are part of me, and selling them or making them specifically for someone for money would be like selling part of me.

My husband told an acquaintance of his....not someone I know....that yes his wife would make a quilt for her new grandchild....and yes if she wanted it could be a photograph quilt. He confessed he did this and I just said "no". He had to go back and tell her that I don't do quilts on consignment....it's a hobby and I'm busy with other things. And yes, he now knows not to ever do that again or he will be embarrassed yet again. Can you imagine the nerve!

I agree with the thought that saying less is best. I don't do those requests anymore because it takes too much time and in my case has been very unappreciated. Don't need gushing etc., but a simple thanks would be very welcome. I truly don't think people realize the time and expense involved in making a quilt esp when you send in out to a LAer.

I've never had a problem saying no to a request for a quilt. My quilts are for fun and mostly gifts for close friends and/or family. Just gave a queen size dancing four patch adapted from a Bonnie Hunter pattern to my friend who just turned 91. She thanks me for it at least once a week. During her lifetime she made many quilts and gave them away and really doesn't know where they are now. She was sleeping under a raggedy old 'rooster' quilt she made for her husband many years ago. And I mean ragged, like holes in it.

I say-----Quilting is my hobby, not my job!

This is my suggestion, too. I'd simply say I don't sew for others. If they press, then say you don't have time, or my usual reply is that I'm afraid I couldn't please someone else and prefer not to have that pressure. Having said that, I did find myself trapped not long ago in agreeing to redo some drapes for a long time friend's daughter who "doesn't sew". It never came to pass, thankfully, perhaps because the daughter, who "doesn't sew," didn't really want me messing with her drapes! Which suited me down to the ground; I was already trying to figure a way out of it.

I would be honest and say this is not something I would be able to accomplish. No need to explain just what would prohibit you from accomplishing said task. Unless she would challenge your opinion that yes, you could if you wanted to, in which case I would say it is a time issue. If I don't want to make a quilt I do not have the time.

So glad you found a perfect recipient!

I say "no," and if they press, I say "no" again! :)

How about, "I wish I could say yes, but I'm afraid my project line up is a very long one right now."

I agree with luvTooQuilt,,, Quote a price and ask for the money up front, that lets you know if they are serious.. And if they send the money then you are obligated.. So if you really don't want to do it better just tell her you can't

Similar answers would imply that there is a list and she might make it to the top one of these days.. I'd just say no and very little more.