What do you say to requests....
 

What do you say to requests when you don't really know the person and they ask "2 Avenger Quilts for the boys". Let me start by saying that technically this is for my nieces children. However I don't talk much to my neice or her mother my step sister. If someone would ask, yes I call them my family. But I am only Facebook friends for my dad :)

Anyway - what is the best way to handle a request for something you know you won't make. She offered to "pay for fabric and shipping". Never mind the time it would take to not make 1 quilt but 2. :)

$200 per quilt above the cost of supplies for your time.. and up front fees of $200per quilt- non refundable.. that usually shy's them away..

If you don't want to make them, then don't. You have no obligation to fulfill every request for a quilt, no matter who the asker is. I would tell your niece that have many projects going and know that you wouldn't be able to get to them in a timely manner. If she's miffed, that's her problem not yours. You could refer her to a LQS who might have names of quilters who are looking for business. She might not want the quilts made once she knows how much someone really would charge her.

Tell them you "have commitments that make it impossible at this time". Your commitments are your personal business, no further explanation required. It may include a long soak in the tub, watching endless hours of TV, or making quilts you want to make.

Lori is right on track, the less you say, the less you have to defend. I also agree with Auntpiggy, don't do something that you really don't want to do.

I agree that you shouldn't feel compelled to make something you don't want to make. However it's a little sad that you aren't better friends with your stepsister and her family. If you would like to become closer to them, this might be a good opportunity. But definitely let her know how much the supplies will cost, and that may end the matter right there.

I agree with dunster. This may be her way of trying to get to know you better and have a nicer relationship with you. Only you can decide what you want to do. BrendaK

How about "I'm not taking requests just now. I've got too much on my plate" She doesn't need any explaination beyond that.

And to that, I'll add "AMEN"

I'd just say that I had too many projects already backed up (which is true), but that if I ever got to the bottom of the pile, I'd let her know. Just because you make quilts, doesn't mean you have to make them for everyone who asks. Relative or not, it's gutsy to ask when the relationship is not a close one. Unless, of course, you want to charge her plenty for your time and work. That's a whole 'nother story.

I have a standard reply that fits many scenarios: "thank you for asking me to ....fill in the blank( useful,because it catches them off guard). However,due to a conflict in my schedule,I'm unable to do it at this time. Please ask me again. That's all I say. No need for justification,guilt ,hogwash.

If you really do not want to put your time into this, you must take a deep breath, and put your foot down. I know it's hard to do, but you do not want to be saddled with a job that is going to put pressure on your time as well as your mind.

I just tell anyone that they can't afford me.

Bless your heart! Just let her know you are flattered by her request, but...and then use Lori's words to let her down sweetly. :D

Jan in VA

LOL!! Absolutely right, Lori! This is the correct thinking on this issue... ha ha!

Why not offer to guide her into making them herself. My sister and SIL do this via skype

What I say is "I'll put you on my list. It's a long list."

I made a quilt ( Queen size ) for an estranged family member, and instructed my daughters this person was to be given the quilt in the event of my death. My daughters talked me into giving it to the person now saying" you never know what doors this might open and this just might make things better. So I gave it to my oldest daughter to give to this person. No doors were opened, no phone calls made, and I did not even get a Thank you. I am ok with this though, I opened the door, more than that I can not do.

"Take a number" I have "x" amount lined up and it's probably going to be a couple of years before I can even think about it.

I've been very successful with saying "Thanks so much for thinking of me, but I just don't do commission work". I have yet to have someone ask for me to make something as a gift ;-)

I agree with Lori's approach. However, you could, if so inclined, buy a couple of yards of a large Avenger print fabric, border it with a fabric from your stash that coordinates with it, use muslin backing and quilt it. The sandwiching, quilting and binding would take the most time. This approach minimizes the time invested by you in making it.

I made Pokemon pillow cases for my 'grands' and they were absolutely thrilled to get them. (Pokemon fabric is impossible to find, so that's all I could make them!) My guess is these two little boys would be just as thrilled with Avenger pillowcases, and pillow cases are much faster and less labor intensive than a quilt.

My standard response is always "Thank you so much for thinking of me but my commitments right now just won't let me make you the kind of quilt you want. You certainly deserve a quality product and you might ask my guild buddy Mary who does beautiful commissioned work." This line has never failed me yet.

My friend Cindi's standard response (and it's actually true!) is:

"I only take 2 commission quilts a year, and I'm booked for the next 2 years." She'll sometimes explain that she only does 2 a year due to demands of job/family/etc. It works and no one's ever been upset.

Wow. Too sad, Jackie.

Remember the phrase "just say no". I've had so many people ask me to make them quilts, telling me it would be so simple and wouldn't take much time. I just tell them I've got so many projects lined up it isn't possible. One who persisted and wanted a specific quilt was told the price would be $1500.00. She decided it wasn't worth it.

I enjoy sewing and quilting. If a family member or close friend wants to pay for the fabric, I'll make them a quilt. After all, most of us make charity quilts, don't we? Even if I did not want to make one for the mother, I'd make it for the kids. (actually, been there, done that)

I agree with Margeret. Most will never ask again once you offer to help them make one. The ones that do...well its always awesome to create a new quilter.

I like the pillowcase idea. Short and sweet and the kids will love it just the same.

i once made a raffle quilt for a local museum, of hot air balloons. One mom called me to see if I would make one for her daughters' Christmas gift. Her daughter loved the quilt so much. I regretfully declined BUT I offered to make one quilted block for her daughter and I only asked for a $35, tax deductible donation to the museum, not to me. Mom was thrilled! And later told me that the daughter told her class that this was her favorite Christmas gift! I was thrilled! My avatar is one of those blocks. They are large and make a great wallhanging or table topper. Sometimes thinking out of the box satisfies others.

sandy

I do not mend and I do no sew for others. My sewing is for fun.

I, jokingly say, "You can't afford me". But I truly mean it.

You say" I'm sorry, it sounds like a fun project, but I'm just not going to be able to do that." Not, " I'm too busy right now" because it I plays that you MIGHT be someday. When pressed ( as lots of folks do!) you can say " No, really, I already have too much on my plate." Hopefully they'll get the message. If not, change the subject, they don't get any further explanation!

I find that putting someone off by saying that you are too busy at the moment, etc. will sometimes backfire. I've been told "I can wait." So now I just say that I would be glad to teach her how to make a quilt. Ha. And we all know that they don't want that. IOW, I mean, "I'm sorry, but it's NO.

Lori S You hit a bullseye with your answer. PERFECT solution. I couldn't have said it any better !!

I agree! "NO" is not a 4 letter word! But why do we always have to justify our not doing something?

I'm working on a t-shirt quilt for my youngest son right now, and have already had an aunt and a coworker tell me they have been saving up shirts from their children and would like to have quilts made. Having four sons and a job myself, I have no problem at all just saying no. Quilting for me should be enjoyable. Quilting for others would be stressful and not at all enjoyable. Plus I may finish my quilt this week, or it may drag on for months. (Though looking at my son's grin every time he checks out the shirts, backings, etc., it will probably be pretty soon.) I feel like I have done everything for everybody for decades with having four sons and numerous volunteer jobs in addition to paid employment over the years. Now it is my time to do with as I please. Not to mention I still have a pretty big hoard of shirts for my other three sons and husband.

when some one wants me to do something I don't want to do , I tell them I'm obligated already for several months out & if they are ok with that, I let them know I will not work with cheap material & invite them on a trip to the lqs wit calculator in hand - lol. That usually solves the problem.

Shelbie has a great idea. Most of us have friends that make quilts to sell. Tell her that you will give her number to a professional quilter.

Someone I know, not really well wanted a tshirt quilt. At first he wanted a king sized quilt. When I started quoting prices he decided a nice throw sized would be nice. I quoted approximate fabric prices and labor costs. I told him I didn't have time until after CHristmas. I never heard back from him. Good because I hate making tshirt quilts.

If you really do not want to just tell her sorry no, you are to busy and just can not.

I had my daughters' aunt-in-law ask how much I would charge to make a T-shirt quilt for her granddaughter for a HS graduation gift. I give her credit for asking about a price. I gave her a ridiculously high price and that ended it right there. Now I think my daughter is going to help her make it - and she'll probably do 99% of the project - borrowing one of my sewing machines and won't charge her anything except the cost of materials. Sigh. . . . .

Jane