What would you do if
 

someone asks to borrow your pattern so they could make the same tote that you made. I took my tote to work and to show one of my quilty friends and another lady saw it and asked to borrow it. Do not want to do this but don't know what to say??? I told her I wasn't sure I have it??? Any suggestions on how to deal with this situation???

I think it is best to be honest yet tactful. Just tell her that you are very flattered that she liked your tote but you just don't lend patterns or sewing supplies. You might suggest to her where she could purchase her own pattern.

For people I don't know very well - I've considered asking for a deposit to cover the cost of replacing the book/pattern/whatever.

It seems to enhance the person's memory!

I don't know of a graceful out on this one.

Lie - and say that someone else already has it?

I agree with the others. Say you don't lend or copy patterns, and give her the pattern name and designer and where she can purchase it. iMHO, if they have the nerve to ask to borrow, we can have the nerve to politely decline!

I would much rather be told, 'no, I don't lend out my patterns or tools', than to be asked for a deposit. That would really be a shock.

I said I would be TEMPTED to ask . . .

Try role-playing with family members until you get used to saying it out loud.

I would tell her that you are making another bag and you cannot loan out the pattern. If she asks again later, tell her you are still using it. She will get the message and if she has a conscience, it will dawn on her that her request is inappropriate.

Thank you all so much for the suggestions!!! I believe telling her I am making another bag and then, my daughter is waiting for the pattern, would work well. Jeanne S has a very good point, "if they have the nerve to ask to borrow, we can have the nerve to politely decline!"