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-   -   Are you offended if someone doesn't display your gift? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/you-offended-if-someone-doesnt-display-your-gift-t126127.html)

Dee 05-28-2011 05:27 PM

I have made things for people(that don't sew or craft) and they say oh you were on your sewing machine again. Or oh yah. That bugs me.

lue 05-28-2011 06:57 PM

Well, I'll get a chance to see my true answer to that question! I'm making a quilt for granddaughter's wedding next weekend. My back and shoulders are giving me painful fits but I cut/sew awhile and rest awhile cut/sew awhile and rest awhile. I HOPE the happy couple is happy with my gift. Some young people prefer "store bought" gifts to "hand made" ones. But my hope is that they will appreciate it over time, if not right away. I'm making it in their favorite colors (his black and hers yellow) with some red/hearts and saying prayers over it for their health, happiness, and contentment.

Tropical 05-28-2011 07:02 PM

When I started making swedish weaving afghans, I took one home to my Mom when we went on our annual visit to Michigan. She loved it and still displays it on the back of her sofa after about five years. She says it looks as if it belongs there. I also took a small one yard throw I had done all in royal blue with a design I came up with as a practice piece. We were at one of my DH's sisters's house and I got it out to show all of the ladies in his family. When she commented on it, I told her she could have it and she said she couldn't take it because she knew it must have been a lot of work. I tried to convince her that I really wanted her to have it if she wanted it. I could see that she did. Finally, I told her I would have to take it back home and put it back in the closet with all of the dolls and stuffed animals I had made and stored there. I told her they would make fun of the blue throw because it had thought it was more important than they were because I had taken it to Michigan and left them behind. I told her that it would feel bad when that happened so if she would take it it would really be a kindness on her part. She laughed and told me that in that case she would love to have it. I gave it to her and she and another sister hurried into the living room and removed what was already displayed on the sofa back and put my throw there. They stood there chattering about how lovely it looked and what an nice job I had done since it was only the second one I had made. Needless to say I was thrilled. I hadn't been that happy with it myself because it was a practice piece, small, and all blue. Those two afghans lead to the rest of the ladies in my family each getting one in the colors of their choice. They all thanked me and still display them. My Mom has told me she sees them when she visits their homes.

On the other hand, I made an afghan for my only DGD and she was too excited about it. I had asked her step-mom what her favorite color was and she told me purple. So I made it with three shades of purple and I loved it. My DGD told me her favorite colors were actually lime green and orange when I told her her DSM told me purple. She did say she likes purple, too. So I understood then non-excitement. A couple of years later, I took her a lime green, orange, and yellow one that I had made for myself that I really loved. Well, I was very hurt when she hardly looked at it and didn't even say thank you for it. I had called her ahead of time and asked her if she would like to have it and she had told me she would love it. My DH was upset with her about her behavior. He knows how much time and work goes into one. He does not want me to make gifts for the family anymore and encourages me to enjoy making afghans and quilts for charity because we know they will be appreciated then. I guess we have no control over how others will respond when we give them our cherished gifts. So for me it will be charity from now on. It will please me and my DH.

charlotte625 05-28-2011 07:07 PM

no, I am not, but I do think it is nice to have a thank you.
But this is the reason my house looks like a thrify store...if some one gives me something I set it out or hang it up.....and I hate to dust!!!!!!

jpthequilter 05-28-2011 08:21 PM

I like to have several (at least tops) finished so that the personI intend to give a quilt or wallhanging to, can choose what they like, or none, or something else, like placemats or a table runner....or a purse/bag.....

Auntie B 05-28-2011 09:34 PM

I have mixed feelings. I learned years ago to be choosey as to who gets my quilts. I only send them to friends or family who I think will appreciate all the skill, and many hours of work, not to mention cost. Having spent many hours on a baby quilt, one month later, to see it thrown in the dog's bed. I didn't say anything, but I learned a lesson. Auntie B.

Rose_P 05-28-2011 09:41 PM


Originally Posted by luvstitches
I ONLY give a quilt for a gift if I know for certain that they will appreciate it. I will try to stay with the colors they like as well.
I did give a full size quilt to my mother because she acted like she absolutely loved it...it looks so lovely on the top shelf in her closet!!!

Careful about judging this sort of behavior as rejection, though. She might be "saving it for a special occasion", not wanting to wear it out. If you've ever gone to an estate sale you have probably witnessed this very common type of hoarding - beautiful brand new things put away for a day that never came.

suecq 05-29-2011 12:11 AM


Originally Posted by rusty quilter
I only feel offended if they don't even respond at all. I don't expect lavish praise (although that is nice of course) but I do expect the common courtesy of at least saying thank you for a gift...mind you I said I expect it--not that I always get it.

I have learnt the hard way, not only with quilts but with other things I make, to make them because I enjoy making and giving them. Not for the thanks. With my family it is not always forthcoming. Now I do it for my gratification and pleasure

karenpatrick 05-29-2011 03:51 AM

posted twice - sorry

karenpatrick 05-29-2011 03:51 AM

I just finished a graduation quilt for the daughter of a friend. It was made from antique blocks that she had found in her attic of the family home that were probably 100 years old. They were very fragile and I had to applique them to other fabric in order to use them. I spent 2 months on that quilt, working on it every day. The blocks were made from lots of different stripes and gingham checks and it was almost impossible to find coordinating fabric to use with them. I was very proud of the way it turned out. I was asked to make this quilt, I didn't volunteer. I was so disappointed at the daughter's reaction. But I kind of expected it as she is just 17. What is a quilt to her. But I hope someday she will appreciate all the work that went into it. But I doubt it. As soon as people started to arrive for the after-party, she put it in the living room where no one could even see it. I learned my lesson. I will never again make a quilt because someone asks me to. I will make them because I want to and if someone likes them I MIGHT give them away. And I will make them for gifts because I want - no other reason.


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