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Thread: Struggling With Motivation to Quilt

  1. #26
    Senior Member JenelTX's Avatar
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    I always tell my husband, "Hobbies are only fun if you do them when you feel like it." Don't force yourself. Things changed, and you're rolling with it. When you have free time, you need to do whatever feels relaxing to you in that moment. Don't turn quilting into a chore that must be done. Those quilts you haven't made yet will still be there when you're ready to start again.

    I'm sorry about the pain your daughter and her children must be going through right now. Sometimes divorce is the right decision, but it's never an easy or painless one.
    Jenel Looney
    Assistant to Susan Mallery
    New York Times bestselling author

  2. #27
    Super Member deedum's Avatar
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    Bless your heart, you are just trying to put too much on your plate right now. Relax and enjoy your grandchildren. There will be pockets of time that you will be able to quilt some, just take some deep breaths and realize it is all good. Everything in time.

    count your blessings.

  3. #28
    Junior Member HilaryK8's Avatar
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    The same thing happened to me. But I was real hot n heavy into sewing when my Grandfather was ill. It was theraputic. When he passed I lost the motivation and took a 2 year hiatus. Well, I'm BACK! I found projects I am excited about and that's how I spend my time. I still go through days where I just want to read all day. It happens. Just go with it! Do what makes you happy!

  4. #29
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    Sounds like you are too tired to quilt and that your time is being used for more important things such as your family. Quilts, like dust, can wait.

  5. #30
    Super Member HillCountryGal's Avatar
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    Breaks my heart to hear of child abuse. Thank heaven your daughter has you to turn to. Many don't have that luxury. Like everyone before said.. give yourself a break (mentally & physically). For now quilting needs to be on the backburner. People will always remember how you made them feel.. not what you did for them.

    ((hugs))

  6. #31
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    I had a daughter and her 3 children move in with us 3 different times. 1 time her then husband was with her. It is a challenge but the blessings that come with the challenge can not be counted. We have a bond with her children that has been very strong and I know we wouldn't have had this bond had they not lived with us. Just be glad you can be there for her and help pertect the children from their abusive father.
    Lorraine

  7. #32
    Super Member KyKaren1949's Avatar
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    Oh bless your heart. My heart breaks for the four year old. I hope being in a safe place with you will help your daughter and her children to get a normal life again and feel safe. Forget the quilting for now and spend all the time necessary with those babies. He needs love and comfort from you more than they need the Christmas gifts. You will get back to quilting eventually when everything stabilizes. Praying for all of you!
    Karen in Kentucky

  8. #33
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    You are dealing with a lot of very emotional issues right now. Your every day life has been not only challenging but it sounds like you are trying to spread your emotions in several directions, not to mention that your normal routine has been interrupted. Like me, your escape has been the comfort and distraction of books. That is OK. I often find it helpful to make a list of priorities and keep it handy.You may even rearrange the order as you look at the whole picture. If helpful, find someone to talk to, a good trusted friend, your pastor or a professional. You may just have to express your anger and pain out loud. Family, of course, comes first, forget the quilting for now. We all will be thinking about you.
    Kaye Jacobson Salverda

  9. #34
    Senior Member newbiequilter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EllieGirl View Post
    Thank you all so much for the words. It has been a huge adjustment. Things will get worse. My SIL beat the tar out of the four year old and there is a lot of emotional effects from that. I've suspected he has been hurting him for two years but never left marks. I'm a retired teacher and you learn behaviors kids develop when abused and he as had those. The pieces just weren't falling into place. He has a criminal trial in October and the best thing that could happen is for him to be sent to prison for several years. I know I am the most stable, positive person in their lives right now.
    There should be counseling available for your grandson and probably your daughter. They (especially the boy) are victims of a crime. I know the abuse was in a different state but it would not hurt to check out what avenues are open to them. You might start with your local Victim-Witness office - it might be a branch of the Probation Dept. And you probably know some of the right people thru your previous employment. Best wishes and loads of prayers and good thoughts coming your way.

  10. #35
    Super Member QandE2010's Avatar
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    Elliegirl, you need to do just what you want to do regarding your quilting. Those children have had their lives turned upside down. Bless you for being there. I remember your post when you told us about your midnight ride. It is sad. Hopefully they and their mother will start to heal, now that they are removed from their terrible circumstances. You have been, and continue to be on my prayer list. Good luck. Take care.
    Alma
    Nami to 6

  11. #36
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    God bless you for taking in your daughter and your grandchildren. Given the abusive situation, your daughter had the courage to walk away to protect her children, your grandchildren. Just love those children, give your daughter all of your love and support and things will work out. Get help for your grandson and daughter, be there for her and God will find a way to heal all of them and give you the strength you need to see this through.

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by M.I.Late View Post
    Maybe this is Gods way of telling you those grands need more interaction with you than you would provide if you were quilting. You might just need some little things to do while you're enjoying those grands. They grow so fast and you finally have them close to you again. (That will change again soon enough). I'm sure when the wave peaks again, you'll be glad you took the time to help them through this difficult time. You have a 4 yr old going through a rough time (away from Daddy) and kindergarten is right around the corner for him... Enjoy!
    DITTO..! Enjoy those grandbabies while you can..and enjoy your reading right now,too..you will bounce back soon..take care...

  13. #38
    Super Member Taughtby Grandma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArtsyOne View Post
    I've found that sewing in general comes in waves for me. Sometimes I'll sew for 6 months straight, every day. Then I'll stop and not sew again for a couple of years. You've got a lot on your plate right now and if all you want to do is read, then you deserve to take time to yourself to read. As for those quilts you'd planned to make for Christmas, you can always make them for next Christmas. Take care of yourself.

    I think the same way. Right now you should treasure the time you have for yourself and go back to quiltiing when it calms down some.
    Jeanie

  14. #39
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    So glad you can be there for the children. You may need to work with an advocacy group to learn how to help the 4-year old cope with the abuse and learn to trust people again. Bless you in your journey ahead. Quilting can wait. Read quilt magazines for relaxation and don't worry about the needle and thread.

  15. #40
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    We do what we have to do for our kids and our grands. The only time I ever lit into my SIL was for spanking one of MY grands. Your whole world has been turned upside down, but it will level out. In the meantime, your "me" time has been deleted. I think I would try to sew placemats, or table toppers, or something small while they nap. You know, just a little something to prove to yourself that you're still here! In the meantime, sending prayers your way.

  16. #41
    Senior Member captlynhall's Avatar
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    My heart goes out to you and to your daughter and grand kids. Especially the little boy who has been hurt. Just being there for them and offering a loving and stable environment is what they need right now. And you must allow yourself to get lost in your books when you can find a little time. Reading removes you, even if for a little while, from the stresses of the everyday world, and I believe it can be healing. Take care of yourself. When the time is right, you will start quilting again.
    When a dying man asked his pastor "How long does it take to die?" his pastor's heartfelt reply was "A lifetime." Live life to the fullest, but stop now and then to enjoy the sunset.
    Lynda

  17. #42
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    Well, I'm the mom that hired a babysitter when I went to buy groceries or to shop. LOL. My DD and DGD moved in with me after her divorce and I loved having them here. I also kept DGD while DD worked. DD put her in day care two days a week so I could have time for myself. She loved playing with the kids and having group activities those days and it wasn't over whelming her to go just a couple of days a week. Maybe you could find a mommy's day out at a local church or day care for a day or two a week.
    Got fabric?

  18. #43
    Senior Member Patti25314's Avatar
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    The child will do a lot of testing you to see if you are going to get mad at him or spank him. Please be very patient with the little one. With a lot of positive love and attention, he will survive and blossom -- we can hope. Staying on a schedule should help, too. I think I'm singing to the chorus. So, I'll close with we are all thinking of you and sending your family lots of love.

  19. #44
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    I have been exactly where you are - kids moving back home because of divorce and child abuse. We spent quite a few years worrying and doing our best to protect our grandson. Thankfully, things are looking up. The best advice I can give you is to just take time to adjust to the changes and do what you feel like doing. Your sewing machine and fabric will still be there when you get in the mood again. I find that working on my quilts is very therapeutic and restful at times, but not so much when the rest of my life is chaotic. Just concentrate on what needs the most attention right now - your family - and most important, take care of yourself first.... I will be praying for healing for your family.
    -Chris-
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    Blessed are the children of quilters, for they shall inherit the quilts....

    It does not do well, Harry, to dwell on the dreams....and forget to live. - Albus Dumbledore

  20. #45
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    Be there for them Gma. it is what they need right now. My DS and DIL are getting divorced. He is here with us and she took the kids to FL to live with her mom. She has a no contact order for son but isnt letting us talk to them either. havent had any contact with them since before Thanksgiving. She is telling them they will not see their dad until they are 18 and able to drive themselves to see him. I hope the divorce agreement works out different than what she wants so we can see/talk to them again. So heart breaking for the kids. The "adults" just dont realize what they are doing to the kids.

  21. #46
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    You are on the right track take care of those precious grandkids and daughter they need you right more than a quilt. And don't forget to take care of yourself or you will not be any help to anyone right now. Best wishes/

  22. #47
    Super Member GailG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArtsyOne View Post
    I've found that sewing in general comes in waves for me. Sometimes I'll sew for 6 months straight, every day. Then I'll stop and not sew again for a couple of years. You've got a lot on your plate right now and if all you want to do is read, then you deserve to take time to yourself to read. As for those quilts you'd planned to make for Christmas, you can always make them for next Christmas. Take care of yourself.
    I second the motion on this one. Do what's important at the time. Those children probably need your attention and distractions more than you need to quilt. And it's so special to have them with you. There's a time for everything and this time may not be for quilting.
    One step at a time, always forward.

  23. #48
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    Exs who keep the kids away from grandparents for no other reason then spite are the lowest of the low. My DGD loves her other grandparents as much as she loves DH and me. If my DD did that to her ex's parents she would find herself out of our house with no help from us and she knew it.
    Got fabric?

  24. #49
    Senior Member w7sue's Avatar
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    Take some time for yourself and your family - quilting will happen later when you are more relaxed and have more time for it.

    I had to take a forced break from quilting (I fell and broke my right arm and it was almost 9 months before they did surgery to repair it) and it has taken me a long time to get back into it. It has been almost 9 months since my surgery and I find that I am quilting a little more each day.

    I finally started paper-piecing the Farmer's Wife blocks - one each day is my goal - not a lot of sewing time but over the long haul it will net me something nice to have. I am also trying to learn how to use a new longarm too and it is so overwhelming that sometimes I just sit with a good book too. Sometimes I feel bad that I am not using it as much as I thought I would, but if it isn't fun I am not going to push it - sometimes I just don't know what to do with the quilt that is loaded on it and it sits for a week or more while I figure it out.

    Prayers are with you and your family as you navigate these difficult times.

  25. #50
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    I understand how you feel, my daughter and her husband lost their jobs about four years ago, they kept going about another year with my help, but when the economy tanked, I told them to move in with us, next thing you know, tada, we were expecting, three years later I have a beautiful GD, that loves to be with grandma, thus to make this story bearable, I don't have time to quilt or so, I have two days each week, and spend them with her and cleaning house, by the way my daughter and her husband are going to school to finish their degree programs. Just a little thought for the boy, you need to have him talk to a councilor about the things that have happened to him, My prayers are with you and your family
    happy to have enough stash fabric at all time

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