Neesie

I'd have asked for it back. Seriously. I wouldn't have worried about "hurting her feelings" because she apparently had none.

ckcowl

many non-quilters really do not have any concept of what goes into a quilt- you need to (de-personalize!) once you give a quilt it is not yours any more- what happens to it after you give it is not up to you- so---no point in taking it personal-
and i know it is hard sometimes-
some of the things that have happened to some of my (self-proclaimed masterpieces)--
used to cover the wood pile in the yard for the winter
used as a drop cloth when changing out an engine in a truck
used to cover furniture for a move
used in a dog house- for a mommy to have her litter of puppies
even my mom (who i believe should know better) had one of my quilts wadded up in a corner of her basement- with muddy boots on it! (that one i asked for back- which she did not have a problem with) i did not hurt her feelings over it- she did not remember where it had come from- when i noticed it i checked it over (without her knowing) then simply asked===
'hey- that old quilt in the basement----could i have it?' she said- oh- that old thing it's probably all stained---it's been down there a long time- i told her- i don't mind- i think i could get the stains out---i just like it---she said sure- you can have it-
the others- i don't even acknowledge----in fact sometimes i feel- well it's nice that they found a use for it- i guess that's better than molding away packed under a bed never to be seen or used...
my sister requested a special quilt she wanted that would (win a ribbon) she was jealous of some of the quilts i had entered in the fair or other shows---so i made her a really nice one---gosh i LOVED that quilt! in fact when i finished it i told my hubby----I don't want to give it to her! she's not worth it!!! i want to keep this one- i can make her another one- and my boss felt the same way about it---in fact he would have paid alot for it---
well hubby said---'no---you made it for her- you need to give it to her---yes it is a great one! she will love it-
so i gave it-
3 months later- time to gather quilts i am going to enter in an upcoming show i contacted her & said---well it's time to give me the quilt so it can win you a ribbon---
her reply-
oh i don't think so- the dogs have kind of trashed it---i don't think it would win any ribbons.
I was kind of crushed---knowing i could have sold it to someone who would have cared for it- i could have kept it---
but---oh well- i made it for her- it was hers to do with as she wanted- & she better never complain about none of her's having ribbons!
anyway- long story- but when you give them- it is no longer up to you- don't look- don't ask---hope that they will be used & cared for- but don't take it personally if they are not used the way you would use them===it's not yours anymore- you got rid of it.

Wanabee Quiltin

How sad that someone did that to your beautiful quilt. I was a very late starter when I started quilting and the ladies in my quilting circle told some really sad tales to me. One of the ladies worked months on a Great grandson's baby quilt. When she arrived to see the baby when it was about 3 months old, the dog was sleeping on it in a corner of the living room. Another woman spent hundreds of dollars on a quilt for her daughter and the daughter was going to a wedding without a gift, so she just gave away the beautiful quilt. It made me very leery of giving anything away. When I finally decided to give a quilt to my daughter, something told me to not spend a lot of money on it. I have since repaired it twice now because the dogs sleep with them and the dogs have chewed holes in it. But she loves it and she uses it. She has told me the dogs are older now and I can make her a better one ! Maybe you can get your quilt back by giving her an old rug for the doghouse ? I'd try and get it back....

Neesie

Most of my quilting has been on craft items. Years ago, I spent a lot of time, making two tissue box covers, for a dog-rescue fundraiser (raffle type). For such small items, I spent quite a bit of time and money, making them (appliqued/quilted). They turned out very well and I was rather proud of them. All of the contributions were put into boxes, so that people could spend their tickets on whatever they wanted to win. After searching and searching for my items, I finally found them stuffed down into the backs of two boxes, with just the edges peeking out. I only "saw" them because I was looking specifically for them. In front and on top of them, were store-bought things, such as dog treats, etc. Needless to say, it was the very last time I contributed anything to that group.

burchquilts

I had a similar experience with a needlepoint pillow that I'd made for my ex MIL. But I decided that I liked making & giving handmade gifts to much to let that *person* (ahem) ruin that for me. So now, when I five a gift, I just let it go... in my mind. I give it & what they do with it, they do with it. And trust me... that's not my usual MO in the world (I'm a fretter). But it's helped me alot.

burchquilts

The worst thing that happened to my quilts was truly heart-breaking. We were moving. We hired a moving company. I had a brand-new baby & so wasn't watching every move they made. They loaded all the antique quilts I had from my family (about 2 dozen). They were beautiful. They meant so, so, so much to me. I assume the box made it on to the moving van. When the van showed up at our new house (3 days later), they were nowhere to be found... & weren't listed on the manifest. I couldn't prove that they have even ever existed so I got no insurance money for them (not that they could've been replaced by money, but it would've been better than nothing). To this day, I feel so awful about that. I'm sure the moving van people handed them off (for a pretty penny) to pickers of some sort. I know that sounds paranoid & crazy but why else would they take that one box? Oh, just thinking about it makes me upset...

charity-crafter

I'd be furious too. But did you tell her when you gave it to her that it was handmade, how much time and effort went into it? All that stuff? I've learned that people who don't sew or visit fabric stores don't have a clue how much money and time is involved in a quilt. I'd also tell her how much time and money you spent on it. It would be different if it was an inside dog who kept stealing it off the bed.

I made a quilt for my brother and later found it in his trunk of the car under his tools. It was greasy and torn, looked like a grease rag. 'What is this doing here?" "Oh, I wanted to protect my tools." "Really? You use a quilt that I spend $200 on fabric alone, and 4months of work because I thought I loved you to absorb oil? Our Aunt quilted it, for you because you are family. she charged other people several hundred dollars to quilt something this big. She's dead, you won't be getting anything from her anymore. I told you that she quilted it before she died." I stomped off in a huff and that was the end of gift exchanges in my family.

I don't care how much the gift giver should release the gift and not expect anything from it and the receiver should be able to do what ever they want-they'll never get another quilt from me or anything of value. It's a slap in the face when people don't value something that you've spend so much time, effort and money on something you've made special for them.

That's why I don't make quilts for anyone. I'd rather give to charity, that way I don't see what the person is doing with the finished product. And I hope that some child is getting a little comfort from what I make.

DogHouseMom

Your story beats the worst that happened to me. Not a quilt, but a crocheted baby blanket and matching sweater and pants. Made for a SIL. She opened it, rifled through the box, looked at me and said "what? no money?"

burchquilts

I'd have said "Nope, no money & evidently no class either". Grrrrrrrrrrrr! People!!!

Julie in NM

Made quilt for gal at work who was in a bad way. She just loved it. However, do did her dog. He died on it! She buried him in it! I cried on the way home when she told me. Haven't made that pattrn again and it's a great scrappy quilt.