Quiltingboard Forums - The Best Little Chin Hair Post on the Prairie

Six months ago I wrote about the subject of chin hairs because getting rid of them has become an important daily ritual for me. Things have not gotten any better these past few months and I have become so obsessed with unneeded body hair that I should be committed.

The first time I noticed strange hair docking on my "port" was when I drove to Kingston, Ontario with my youngest son Perry. I caught him looking at me from the corner of my eye and I asked him what was wrong. He said,

"Mum do you know you have a long hair growing under your chin?"

I did not believe him and told him to pull it out as a joke. He reached over, tugged, and showed me a long albino hair that I swear measured 5 inches in length. I was aghast and then quickly asked him if there were any more. He laughed and said no but told me I looked like I needed a shave.

Since when did my face start resembling a peach? Should I suddenly be sold along with veggies on a roadside stand or become part of a cobber? Upset with my peach fuzz status I started to pluck like a maniac and refused to call them "stray eyebrows" as I once did.

They infuriate me so much I now glare in the bathroom mirror every morning as they seem to grow overnight at warp speed I keep not one, but two pairs of tweezers by the bathroom sink and if I spot even the smallest of growths I am at immediate war with them. If I lost a pair of tweezers I think I would go completely ballistic and have been known to liberate the odd tweezer from a bathroom not belonging to me. It is simply about having the perfect tool to accomplish the deed.

My grandmother used to have two chin hairs that grew for months that she would never pluck until Christmas. Sometimes at dinner I would have a hard time concentrating on small talk as I could not help watching the progress of those two black hairs. They had a mind of their own and would swirl this way or that depending on the kitchen temperature.

First bright sunny day in December she would go outside and set my grandfather's round shaving mirror on top of an overturned garbage pail. There in full sunlight with Christmas carols blasting from the kitchen radio she would pluck them out. I learned from her that only a place that allows full sunlight will provide the true horror of what's really growing on your face.

As I age hair is disappearing on me and Steve seems to be inheriting it. I have only grown three hairs on my legs this year and my armpit hair no longer grows at 'hippie speed'. I asked Steve when he first noticed hair growing in his ears and he had no idea. He now plucks the wiry Andy Rooney hairs from his eyebrows himself because he says I inflict too much pain when I do it. He also adds that it seems that I get great joy from plucking them similar to peeling skin from a bad sunburn. Steve initially allowed me to pluck an eyebrow hair for the possibility of a photo below for "arts sake only" as he said. In the end the picture did not turn out so we have a real close ugly second for an example.

I continue to pluck and gaze intensely at people on busses that have chin hairs growing so long they could thread a needle with them. I just saw a picture of Madonna today that was captioned:

"Madonna with facial hair is HOT!"

Well I say this to Madonna quite emphatically - by the hair on my chinny chin chin my dear, it's not! :)

Text and Images Linda Seccaspina 2011