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-   -   To gift or not to gift, that's the question. (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/gift-not-gift-thats-question-t295311.html)

SewingSenior 03-07-2018 07:01 AM

To gift or not to gift, that's the question.
 
I have made about 25 quilts and gifted them to my kids, grandkids, and kids that feel like my own but are not. I love making them and giving them away. But I have not gifted any of them to a cousin. One of my cousins has been begging me to make her a quilt, which I would be happy to do If she were the only cousin I had. The problem is I have lots of cousins, many of which I am much closer to than this one.

My question to all of you is. Do I make her a quilt and hope that the others don't get their feelings hurt, or do I set out on a quest to make them all a quilt (not a real good choice), or do I tell her straight out that I can't make her one without making the others one (which will probably hurt her feelings)? What would you do in this situation?

willferg 03-07-2018 07:05 AM

You make a quilt for the cousin for whom you want to make one. I don't enjoy making quilts that aren't heartfelt and wouldn't want to take on making quilts for everyone. If anyone asks, tell them you will put them on the list and get to it when the right idea, pattern, and fabric comes to you - whenever that may be.

anne2016 03-07-2018 07:41 AM

I think you should tell her the truth. You have a lot of cousins and would not want them to feel bad because you made one for her.
You could also offer to make one for her and charge an amount that you would charge a stranger or else a' family' price. You could offer to teach her how to make a quilt. Of course, if you give a 'stranger' price or a family discount price or offer to teach her, other cousins may come looking for the same.

zozee 03-07-2018 09:07 AM

That’s a tough question. Let me ask this, if she were to pay for all the fabric and you were comfortable with the pattern selection, would it appeal to you to say yes?

cjsews 03-07-2018 09:07 AM

Since she really wants one, I would offer to make one at cost. The others may not be interested in a quilt or want to pay for one. That way you are not obligated to make one for each cousin

bearisgray 03-07-2018 11:05 AM


Originally Posted by cjsews (Post 8017410)
Since she really wants one, I would offer to make one at cost. The others may not be interested in a quilt or want to pay for one. That way you are not obligated to make one for each cousin

i like this suggestion.

Faintly Artistic 03-07-2018 11:29 AM

Guess I'm a bit of a rebel...I don't feel obligated to do something for everyone if I've done it for one. I make quilts for those I want to make them for, period. If you like this cousin and want to do it, go for it. People get their feelings hurt way too easily any more...

cashs_mom 03-07-2018 11:47 AM


Originally Posted by Faintly Artistic (Post 8017478)
Guess I'm a bit of a rebel...I don't feel obligated to do something for everyone if I've done it for one. I make quilts for those I want to make them for, period. If you like this cousin and want to do it, go for it. People get their feelings hurt way too easily any more...

I have to agree. The other cousin's may want a quilt but just not be as pushy as this one, i.e. asking someone she's not close to to spend many hours and many dollars for her. (I'm a bit obstinate about people who impose on me who have no right to, but I guess you could tell that! lol) Make quilts for the people you want to make quilts for. The rest can wait.

I also have lots of cousins most of which I never hear from even when they lived close to me. Why would I make them anything? I do plan to make quilts for one cousin and her 2 adults kids because she's the one that I'm close to.

dunster 03-07-2018 01:29 PM

I can't imagine asking someone to give me something, especially something they have to take the time to make. I would just laugh and tell her I'll add her to the list. Or if she insists, tell her that it will cost her. When she asks how much, tell her the price of the materials plus some amount for your labor. (The amount can be outrageous if you really don't want to make the quilt, or it can be reasonable if you don't mind making it.) And that will probably be the end of that. Just because someone asks for something doesn't mean you have to provide it for them.

Onebyone 03-07-2018 01:55 PM

She has been begging for a quilt so she must want one. LOL You said you were happy to make it so go ahead and make it.

If the others want one then say I'll think about it. Then forget it.


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