What, so many of you don't even own a dress?! Maybe you should all be sewing some dresses for yourselves! Be sure to clean the entire house first, though, and before you do, shower, shave those pits and legs, style your hair and put on full makeup. Don't forget to smile and hum a happy tune as you scrub away at the waxy buildup and run the vacuum!
Seriously, I'm surprised it didn't say to wear your pearls, too.