It sounds like you are not doing so well. I hope and pray that things will get better. You definitely do need people to help you get things together. You would be surprised at how kind and helpful people can be. Just be brave and ask for help. People will understand and help you, and it will get better. Cut up those credit cards asap. Just keep one that you can manage to pay off every single month. It is a good feeling to not be in debt from buying things we think we need. God bless and stay strong.