Purplepassion,
I can completely commiserate with you!
I have made many quilts and have given them as gifts. Every time I have the conversation with the person about how to care for it. I always leave out the part where you're not supposed to leave it in full access to an animal who destroys fabric!
I made a quilt for a pal of mine - who has many dogs... I think you'll know how this will end. She feels horrible and is going to repair it herself!
I've seen it and get a little sick in my stomach when I think about what it had meant to me at one time. . . the work, the thoughtful planning, the work, the fabric costs, the work, etc.
On the other hand, when I give someone a baby quilt, I expect the baby to do its thing on it (the variety of gross things that come out of a baby) and its need to be washed pretty regularly. Knowing this, I do extra quilting on it, secure every seam, and tell them to wash the bejesus out of it and when baby gets old enough, I'll do a bigger quilt for the bigger bed.
It still hurts, tho, when adults don't seem to care enough about it.
I do know that my pal (with the dogs) was too embarrassed to show me the quilt because of the damage.
All of this to say, I can commiserate. I take a deep breath and say to myself, it's her choice how she wants to handle it... but I'm not going to be too quick to make another!
I hope you find the way to heal from this. We get really connected to our quilts, so it is a loss. An unnecessary loss.