I sometimes think that as women and mothers were afraid to say No at times because we're afraid of hurting someone elses feelings regardless of what it does to us. I know I'm guilty of it myself I'm always worried I'll hurt someone's feelings. If DH has a party to go to of one of our closest friends even if I'm exhausted I'll say fine we'll go if nothing else to make an appearance. I'm afraid of hurting his or their feelings by not going, although since my back surgery I'm starting to say No now because I'm the one that suffers for the next 3 days for going out when my body wasn't up to it.