Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 31

Thread: Four words that can change your life.

  1. #1
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Front row
    Posts
    14,661
    Blog Entries
    2

    Four words that can change your life.

    Instead of making excuses, feeling being put on the spot, being roped into something, feeling like a doormat, always compromising, learn to say these four words:

    I don't want to.

    It's super hard to say them the first few times but boy does it feel good! And it's a shuter upper for any comeback. Practice on your kids first if you feel you can't get the nerve to say it to others just yet.
    Got fabric?

  2. #2
    Super Member Podunk Princess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    North Central Arkansas
    Posts
    1,517
    You're right! I tried saying this about a year ago and it worked. Whenever necessary, I say it again and again. I've gained a lot more personal time to do what I want to do!
    Miss Rita

  3. #3
    Power Poster QuiltE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    15,122
    It only takes one word ............... NO!

    You shouldn't feel you have to give any reasons for your decisions.

    Aquot, that I came across a few years ago, on this matter ...
    "Saying no, is saying yes to yourself!"

    I only wish I knew who to give credit to these empowering words.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sew many ideas ... just sew little time!!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  4. #4
    Senior Member ChaiQuilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    496
    It works when girls start dating, too! LOL!

  5. #5
    Super Member Nanamoms's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    MS
    Posts
    3,167
    Blog Entries
    1
    I have a book "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty". I could never say NO to anything someone wanted me to do and if I did, I worried myself silly about why I said NO. My doctor told me to read this book to help with the guilt feelings. I still haven't conquered the guilt completely but I am able to say NO more often now.

  6. #6
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,998
    One could use only one word as well--No! But it sounds harsh doesn't it. I have learned, though, to say no, but then I soften it with giving a very brief reason why I can't any more.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Kim Bohannon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    876
    Blog Entries
    1
    hmmm, does that work better than saying "I can't"? I'll have to try that the next time I really can't do something!
    I quilt for my sanity!

  8. #8
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    3,247
    We should not let others determine our feeling. Remember you are in control of your feelings. Saying NO is all the answer needed.

  9. #9
    Super Member Gramie bj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Riverside Washington
    Posts
    1,512
    I can say No very easley! I found a sign for my sewing roonm it says
    I don't want to
    I don't have to
    you can't make me
    I'M RETIRED!

    Words I now live by! LOL

  10. #10
    Senior Member It'sJustMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    SE PA
    Posts
    358
    Blog Entries
    1
    My girlfriend says "I'm not so sure that would work for me"...or some variation. I think it's a most charming way to turn down even the most aggressive and annoying.

  11. #11
    Super Member Ruby the Quilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Far Far West Texas
    Posts
    1,400
    Blog Entries
    1
    I agree for some reason women think saying no is a bad work. I'm really getting good at that. Working on an email to resign as a Sunday School teacher after more than 35 years. When I first said I was resigning I heard who would do it. Well it's time someone else did it. The joy is no longer there! Time to find something else-
    Quilting in the Desert

  12. #12
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Enid, OK
    Posts
    8,922
    Blog Entries
    1
    boy..if only....sadly the grown up in me does not allow me to say these things...sigh...

  13. #13
    Power Poster QuiltE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    15,122
    Quote Originally Posted by jaciqltznok View Post
    boy..if only....sadly the grown up in me does not allow me to say these things...sigh...
    A grown up should have the comfort to say NO, when that's what they mean/
    A grown up should not feel they have to do things, just to please others, to keep up with the Jones', or because it looks good.
    A grown up should do things because they want to, care to, wish to, and with sincerity.

    .... and when saying no, there's no reason to feel you have to justify it or explain it to others. You have your reason(s) and that's all that matters.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sew many ideas ... just sew little time!!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  14. #14
    Super Member damaquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Barnesville GA
    Posts
    3,258
    Funny my kids never had any trouble saying. " I don't want to" LOL
    Yes I learned and now its hard for people to understand I really mean it. I do not want to cook for others , I don't even want to cook for myself. I do not want to entertain people anymore. Don't want to go out for the most part. I like being with just me and my dog . HIM I understand. LOL

  15. #15
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Newberg, OR
    Posts
    1,942
    No works for me. Crying and tantrums are my second choice.

  16. #16
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    6,028
    I don't want to - but then you get, "WHY don't you want to?" and other attempts at persuasion.

  17. #17
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Front row
    Posts
    14,661
    Blog Entries
    2
    I've never gotten a why? response when I say I don't want to. I guess it's how I say it. When I do get the why not? I just say It doesn't interest me. Another good reply when asked to do something is You'll have to find someone else to do that. I usually tell them the name of someone that has irked me lately for them to go ask. LOL
    Got fabric?

  18. #18
    Super Member redkimba's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    1,725
    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts View Post
    I don't want to - but then you get, "WHY don't you want to?" and other attempts at persuasion.
    response - because I don't want to do that. You don't need another reason.

  19. #19
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    home again, after 27 yrs!
    Posts
    16,255
    Blog Entries
    2
    good advice. it's taken me most of my life to drop anyone who attacks me for something I didn't do, but I've done it twice now. still bothers me but I'm better off for it, I know. just hard. me and my conscience!!

  20. #20
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    ELVERTA, CA
    Posts
    15,482
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by catrancher View Post
    Crying and tantrums are my second choice.
    Oh I wanna watch, lol.

    I have to use the "No" concept the next time my GF will tell me that she is coming to visit. She doesn't take no for an answer. So I have been practicing: DH and I decided that our house is simply too small to accommodate house guests. Now I am prepared for the next time she calls.
    Martina
    Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Fabric!

  21. #21
    Junior Member glassdriller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    SW Lower Michigan
    Posts
    108
    I've found that 'sorry, I can't. I have I have other plans. OR as I told my daughter when she wanted to borrow money, "You don't know how much I'd like to, but I can't". Felt soo good!

  22. #22
    Super Member Sheila_H's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Ottawa, Ontario
    Posts
    1,000
    I sometimes think that as women and mothers were afraid to say No at times because we're afraid of hurting someone elses feelings regardless of what it does to us. I know I'm guilty of it myself I'm always worried I'll hurt someone's feelings. If DH has a party to go to of one of our closest friends even if I'm exhausted I'll say fine we'll go if nothing else to make an appearance. I'm afraid of hurting his or their feelings by not going, although since my back surgery I'm starting to say No now because I'm the one that suffers for the next 3 days for going out when my body wasn't up to it.

  23. #23
    Senior Member CMARAS1234's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    341
    Blog Entries
    1
    I say "Sorry,That doesnt work for me"... cmaras
    "I do not understand ,how anyone can live without one small place of enchantment to turn to" ( and mine is my summer houseboat on a beautiful KY lake.) quote by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings.

  24. #24
    Member almodent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    80
    my former daugher in law was always asking me to do things for her she is the mom to my grand son and she has a new son with her new husband so the children came as aset when i finally told her i cant do it any more she hasnt spoken o me in 2 months i hate it when my husband is right lol thanl goodness my son has shared custody or i would probably never see the little guy thanks for listening

  25. #25
    Super Member alwayslearning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    1,460
    Quote Originally Posted by It'sJustMe View Post
    My girlfriend says "I'm not so sure that would work for me"...or some variation. I think it's a most charming way to turn down even the most aggressive and annoying.
    Saying "I'm not so sure..." opens up a line for arguement. Just say no!
    "Only those who know enough is enough can ever have enough." Lao Tzu

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.