You have amazing patience to go back after the first incident of total disregard. She absolutely should have told you up front what she would do to your quilt if it was not what you asked for. I think she should have refunded your money on the first one with lots of apologies. After that, it was a case of fool me once...
If she can't handle the order as requested she should try to reach a compromise or simply refuse it. It takes some nerve to do as she did without your expressed consent. You ought to make her a little sign to hang over her frame: "The Customer if Always Right!"