Maybe you can just ask her to return the quilt to you and find someone else to quilt it. That might be enough to get her attention and let her know that you are done waiting without actually arguing with her. We had to do that with a an antique dresser that we sent for restoration by a well-known local person. We waited patiently for a long time and finally my husband went to his shop and said we just wanted it back, not in a confrontational way, we aren't like that. He said oh, he was just about to work on it and it was finished shortly after that. Sorry this happened to you, it is very frustrating. Good luck!